Are you socially awkward?

[Depressed_Kettle]

It seems like I don't even know how to start a conversation with anyone anymore. I struggle to know what to say and people stop talking with me after a bit. I know it's not them, it's something I'm doing wrong. I didn't use to be so bad socially but now I feel like a mess. Online, I start conversations asking how they are and then what hobbies they have but people seem to leave after I ask how they are or after I ask what their hobbies are. I know the site I'm using is a dating site but I would like to get to know them first. I don't remember it being this difficult for me.

I can't even talk to people in person because I'm far too nervous and anxious.

 

[Alwaysbadtime]

I hear you. Personally because I don't do much of anything I don't have anything to say. I do relate to feeling anxious socially because I don't talk. Good luck with the dating site. I hope you get some good responses to your post here. :)

 

[Celerity]

How long has it been since you have been out?

I find myself getting rusty after long periods by myself or with family/roommates only, especially in this headspace.

It's very painful and nerve-wracking, but I have genuinely found customer service jobs to help with my conversational skills. I can't hold onto any relationship of any kind even then, but I can make small talk with the best of them and am far from "shy".

 

[demuic]

Yes, it's painful.

 

[Journeytoletgo]

Yes I'm socially awkward/shy I often get told by others "why are you being shy?" I stopped overthinking it and I don't speak unless I have something to say, idc anymore and conversations are exhausting.

Is it just me or are conversations just too much? My goodness it's awful how much energy I have to put into it. When I don't even feel like it, I just reply with "yeah" and "oh okay" because I just find it unbearable and intolerable to talk in person and too much energy. By the end of the conversation I'm tired and burned out and want to sleep. Anyone else feel the same ?

 

[ClownMe]

yes

 

[suisuiforum]

Asking me if I'm socially awkward is like asking me if I'm still alive, but at least the latter is only temporary.

 

[Pen>Sword]

If you read my posts from beginning to end from my history, you'll see just how socially awkward I am. It's so awkward that I had to ask moderators to delete it for me. That's me on the internet, now imagine how I socialize in real life.

 

[everydayiloveyou]

Same, that's social anxiety for ya.

I do badly in pretty much every situation except super structured, rehearsed ones. Like for some reason I do pretty well in interviews. It all crashes and burns once the structure goes away though. I think it might have something to do with my appearance. I'm vision impaired so I guess people feel really uncomfortable with looking at me/how I hold my head. But at interviews, one look at my eyes just screams diversity hire! So i guess no one wants to comment on it in fear that I'll report it? Or quota reasons maybe!

It sucks because I try hard to ask people about their lives and be extra nice, but it's like the walls are built up and locked before I even get the chance to knock. It feels extra shitty when I'm excited to talk with someone who's known to be nice/outgoing and they don't want to say anything to me or answer basic questions like how school's going or what they think of work.

It's great that you are reaching out to people, if they're not interested in continuing the convo then maybe it just wasn't meant to be. Hopefully you'll meet some great people who will appreciate that you're taking interest in their lives first, and it will be the start of a great relationship! Practice makes perfect! With the whole pandemic situation maybe you just need to get out there a bit more, I feel like social skills are muscle memory and once you hop on that figurative bike again, you'll catch on quickly.

 

[FuneralCry]

Yes, I have always struggled with conversations and things like that. Being around other people is exhausting for me, I am very introverted and I only ever feel relaxed in my own company.

 

[overcomingfear]

"why are you being shy?"

hahaha, i get the question "why are you sad?" when im just normal.

By the end of the conversation I'm tired and burned out and want to sleep. Anyone else feel the same ?

Yes, with some people that happens all the time for me

 

[Largeletters]

I'm better than I used to be but I still get pretty anxious about social situations. It sucks.

 

[Sprite_Geist]

Asocial.

 

[CFLoser]

When sober yes.
When non-sober but around a girl, yes.

 

[Luchs]

It seems like I don't even know how to start a conversation with anyone anymore. I struggle to know what to say and people stop talking with me after a bit. I know it's not them, it's something I'm doing wrong. I didn't use to be so bad socially but now I feel like a mess. Online, I start conversations asking how they are and then what hobbies they have but people seem to leave after I ask how they are or after I ask what their hobbies are. I know the site I'm using is a dating site but I would like to get to know them first. I don't remember it being this difficult for me.

I can't even talk to people in person because I'm far too nervous and anxious.

Not really. Sometimes I don't know what to say right away, but that is more because I'm an overthinker.

 

[Promortalist_]

Yes, it is so bad that people close to me get second hand embarrassment when I am there. Also my ADHD makes it much worse since I tend to overshare things about myself. It's a complete disaster. This is one of the reasons why I don't work.

 

[wannabesetfree]

Yep most definitely. But in a weird way, being socially awkward also protects me. It keeps me from starting relationships (of any sorts) with people who don't care about me and just want to use me (like so many have done in the past). Also, it keeps me from working jobs that deal with working with people which I absolutely despise. It sucks though because it seems like most jobs involve customer service which is a pain.

 

[og.]

No not at all

imo this thing comes with practice so maybe work on the nervous and anxious part first

 

[Chockles]

I've been socially awkward all my life. I wasn't diagnosed with adhd until a couple years ago & suspect I'm on the autism spectrum. To be honest it didn't really bother me too much in my life as I had a lot of physical problems also which I seemed to be aware of more. It's only now that I'm severely physically disabled & in agony bed ridden 24/7 I realise my entire life has been a struggle mentally & not just physically. I'm so full of guilt & regret now for not realising sooner. It all makes so much sense now looking back how much I struggled with so many things including a difficult relationship with my mum & hence I rarely visited my parents & now I live with them I'm bed ridden they support my need to die soon yet I'm overwhelmed with guilt that I can't hang around to get to know them better now realising they've always loved me they just showed it in ways my brain didn't understand. I craved hugs & empathy. I received discipline & financial aid & always felt not good enough for them. That's my biggest regret not bring able to make up for lost time. My mum feels guilty too & it's noones fault.

 

[MeltedJello]

Yep. Its definitely a reason why I don't have friends irl.

 

[arainydancer]

I used to think I am, but I ended up being rather talkative as a person. People thought I was quite funny as a person, so for some time I revelled in being the clown around them, always making jokes and making them laugh. All of this mostly over the internet. In real life people are usually apathetic and distant towards me, and putting in the effort to talk to them never made sense to me. I didn't have that much close relationships with people, though, since nobody takes me seriously. I remember when my jokes would get darker and darker sometimes, even joking about killing myself sometimes, and they still laughed at those as if I wasn't seriously considering doing it. I wonder if they'll be surprised when I actually end up dead later.

 

[Angst Filled Fuck Up]

I'm actually not too bad. I can often pep myself up for an interaction and I drive rideshare sometimes so I've gotten pretty used to generating dialog with strangers out of thin air. Alcohol is a boost at parties though, for sure.

 

[UseItOrLoseIt]

Generally yes, but it may vary from time to time, depending on my mood, which depends on the frequency of ctb thoughts, which depends on the degree of distraction receptiveness, which depends on the level of intoxication... which depends on itself

 

[Ihadagoodlife]

If you have anxiety try to fix it. If your "socially awkward" there is no problem. There is no right or wrong thing to say everyone's different but some people represent a larger percentage of the population so you think there is a problem with you when there really isn't