Are you ready to die?

[throwaway123]

Why? Why not?

If you're ready, what are you waiting for?


If not, what is needed for you to be ready?

 

[NoChoice]

Been ready for 2 years, but decided to suffer and see if things would improve; they have but not enough to justify continuing. If there was a simple "off" button I would've impulsively pressed it very many times in the past 2 years. I'm waiting for F but may end up doing partial if I get impatient.

 

[waived]

Yep.

I've just accepted death as an inevitability. As pain increases and other things deteriorate an immediate acceleration is desirable. Having been in a pretty bad series of places that has now stretched a number of years and been able to get through it without dying accidentally I've decided to try a few more times to get somewhere scenic and perhaps something that feels like home. Because while I'm alive it would feel nice to be there. I have accepted alternatives as well.

 

[ScottPilgram]

I'm ready, I just don't want to die alone. I'm scared of that. I want some one there with me who wants to die too.

 

[21Neberg]

I thought I was ready, but then I failed and people told me it just wasn't my time yet. Maybe they're right, maybe it isn't my time yet.

 

[lost_soul83]

I'm sad to say that I am ready to die. Even though I know it will cause irreparable damage to the people around me that truly care about me, I just can't anymore.

I am bipolar and over the course of my life I've been under the care of a number of psychiatrists who have prescribed me over 30 different psych meds in various combinations, none of which have ever given me lasting relief from the depression and violent mood swings. The last time I was suicidal, I underwent a number of ECT (electroconvulsive therapy) treatments that prevented me from ctb, but I suffered severe short-term memory loss as a result. This time around I've stopped seeing a psychiatrist, stopped all psych meds and ECT isn't even close to an option. I've started planning my ctb and hopefully I'll be gone within the month. I just can't anymore......

 

[Jiva]

I tried it several times. So i am ready. But only by partial hanging, i am afraid to try it without an escape, by sure way. So i don´t know, how much am i serious? Several times i prepared to do it by complete hanging, but i could not jump, i don´t had a courage. I was scared, that i make it wrong and it can be slow and painful. So am i ready really? I don't know sure.

 

[Heart Shards]

nah, my bus is a little while off. I;m going to hangout for awhile.

 

[Smith94]

I'm ready but I wish it were that simple. You'd think it'd be easy to catch the bus, I guess I just haven't got the fare yet.

 

[ThisIsTheLastNight]

Yes im ready to die, but after my failed suicide attempt, which i should have been impossible survived, i first need to find the strength again to end this, but with a diffrent method. Unfortunately, my brain and my heart took control over me, i dont control my body anymore, my body controls me, and that makes it very difficult to leaving the world. Because my body want to life of corse, even if it doesnt deserve it. In addition, I am afraid to wake up again, like the last time. My brain and other people try to convince my that it was fate and at the same time they make me feel guilty if i will not be here anymore. Where has all my strength remained. I knew exactly why I do that. I envy the dead, every day, people die fast in accidents, sometimes they dont even notice it, and for me it's like the world is clinging to me and will not let me go, even if it just extends my suffering.

 

[BaconCheeseburger]

I know I want to, but I have no idea how to prepare or where to get the best information on partial suspension. I know there's info on here, but I almost feel overwhelmed by the huge number of threads and posts. I just want one single page with info on it that I can follow, because I'm an uncoordinated piece of shit who doesn't even know how to tie knots.

 

[Raggas]

As ready as I'll ever be. I've been ready for so long it's stale at this point.

 

[Thewhowithin69]

I'm sad to say that I am ready to die. Even though I know it will cause irreparable damage to the people around me that truly care about me, I just can't anymore.

I am bipolar and over the course of my life I've been under the care of a number of psychiatrists who have prescribed me over 30 different psych meds in various combinations, none of which have ever given me lasting relief from the depression and violent mood swings. The last time I was suicidal, I underwent a number of ECT (electroconvulsive therapy) treatments that prevented me from ctb, but I suffered severe short-term memory loss as a result. This time around I've stopped seeing a psychiatrist, stopped all psych meds and ECT isn't even close to an option. I've started planning my ctb and hopefully I'll be gone within the month. I just can't anymore......

I relate. Bipolar is an evil disease and I hate people saying it's treatable. Maybe for a few but I have tried it all (yep even the ect) and now they say there isn't much else to try....I'm also done.
I'm sorry for your experience and that you couldn't find any relief. I hope you find your peace, you deserve it!!

 

[I am ___________]

I have always known that I would take myself out of this world, I have no place in this world, and it seems that whatever I do it is a futile effort. I have been ready for a long time.... there is nothing holding me back. You could give me a million dollars and I would refuse your offer and still do it, I have seen too much to be naive. This world is full of suffering, some people mask it by the pursuit of pointless distractions, others by consuming, and the rest by enjoying themselves off the suffering on others. This world is sick, and it is mostly filled with sick people.... I reject not only this world and everything in it, but life itself. Life is not worth the trouble, and for sure it is not a gift.... it is a curse. When the timer I have set goes off then I will end it, by then I will have my materials for my method and finally put an end to this pointless existence. I will go back to being ____________

 

[Othermind]

Yes, I am. Last year was hell on earth because of guilt and self-loathing and it's only gonna get worse from here on out. Things are not going to get better so might aswell check out soon.
I haven't done it already because my situation has not deteriorated to the point of being unbearable yet, but it will get there.

 

[Sanguinius]

More or less... i'm at peace with me, I've done everything I can do.
I'll try to enjoy life as long as I can still enjoy it, but if I have no more strenght, I'll ctb and it'll be okay.

 

[VoloFataliDoce]

I think it's about time for me to go. Waiting on SN and DMSO. Everything else is all planned out and ready. My affairs are in order.
I have the nagging feeling that I'll need a bit of a push when the times comes; it would be nice.

 

[Thewhowithin69]

I am not quite ready. I am mostly ready but I do feel like I have a few loose ends to tie up to make my passing bearable for those left behind. And I need to get my supplies ready but I'm afraid if I have those I will just do it before everything has been taken care of. I'm Impulsive and I know this so I have a plan and know what I will use/get and hope I can handle this pergatory while I finish up. I think being ready is what's making this harder cuz I need just a bit more time but don't feel like I have it....maybe it's part of the illness, or maybe si but it's sneaky si. My head and body are done but my heart has one some unfinished business.....if that makes sense

 

[SeekingSolace]

Been ready for 2 years, but decided to suffer and see if things would improve; they have but not enough to justify continuing. If there was a simple "off" button I would've impulsively pressed it very many times in the past 2 years. I'm waiting for F but may end up doing partial if I get impatient.

I would've impulsively pressed the 'off' button as well if it existed. Fear of the pain I would cause those that love me holds me back.

But I am filled with so much self-hatred that it becomes overwhelming living for other people.

 

[ReadyasEver]

Not quite yet, but that window is closing.....

 

[Midnight]

One day i am .. the other i feel that i need to tie up loose ends first.

 

[Final Escape]

Why? Why not?

If you're ready, what are you waiting for?


If not, what is needed for you to be ready?

I don't really want to die bad enough. Unfortunately I developed resilience over time which seems to make it harder to ctb. Sometimes I might be staying alive as a fuck u to the world lol! It has something to do with not wanting to give up completely. Now if I had severe health problems, and no friends or anyone who cared at all I would certainly be more inclined to end it. I read something that touched me the other day, that gave me a new perspective. I can't remember exactly what the lady wrote but it was good. Something about sticking out this experiment till the bitter end because it's not that long anyway. Regardless of how sucky your life turned out. You can always make some improvement in most situations. It's always starting that is hard when u try to make a change.

 

[Glim]

Almost. I just want to take some time to enjoy this state of relaxation that I haven't had in years before I








"Let go your earthly tether. Enter the void. Empty, and become wind."

 

[dontwantthislife]

Yes. Just waiting for one final upset to cause me to go into panic mode and do it.

Like either, I get a phone call today from the mental health system saying my application to see a psychiatrist has been rejected and that'll send me into a panic where I get so angry and upset I kill myself tonight.

OR: I go on this family trip to Queensland for a few days, and then do it once I get back.

I've lost my job, ran out of money. I have nothing to live for once I get back. So it's either tonight or in like a week.

 

[Son_of_Sisyphus]

Yes, but I would like to make sure my parts still of use/healthy go to people that enjoy this circus. I wouldn't want them to miss "The Flying Megalomaniacs" final act...

 

[dysfunctional]

Yes I'm ready to die but not ready to kill myself if that makes any sense.

 

[SeekingSolace]

Yes I'm ready to die but not ready to kill myself if that makes any sense.

^^ This! I feel the exact same way. <3

 

[stellabelle]

Why? Why not?

If you're ready, what are you waiting for?


If not, what is needed for you to be ready?

In a lot of ways, yes. I've done everything in this life that there is to do for the most part, and suffered quite a bit my entire life of abuse and trauma. The flashbacks make me want to die.

What am I waiting for? To get impulsive and just do it. Or maybe try a smidge of hope towards having a "better" existence or future. I'm not sure which.

What's needed for me to be ready? Fentanyl. Or my partner/love to go with me. And a decent way out.

 

[AhG]

My wife. She is the reason I am here but she is the reason I want to leave. It's hard because I feel like she will come back, but that's just my hope talking, in reality I know she won't. I'm ready but I'm not. I'm ready because I've written letters and I'm not because I'm still hoping, but one can hope for so long.

 

[Sundayafternoon]

The cat. The fear of not succeeding. The attachment to the this body of mine that I both loath and like.