Discussion Are you planning on or getting your affairs in order? Decluttering, sorting, cleaning, etc.

[radrobin]

Question is in the title. For me personally I've been working on decluttering for a while- slowly getting rid of things I don't need. First of all stuff really weighs me down metaphorically as in that it makes me more depressed and stressed out. Getting rid of things makes me feel productive when really I'm not.

Another reason is that I don't want my family to have to deal with my stuff when I die. I've come across the term 'swedish death cleaning' that describes people decluttering before their death but I've only seen it used for elderly folks who know they are or will be sick and die. It's done to make things easier for the family.

What about you?

 

[Cherrypea]

Yeah, I have this thing I'll be drifting off nicely and think 'fuck I forgot to cancel my amazon subscribe and save'.

 

[Lame Old Duke]

Yeah have got my pensions and life insurance all sorted out. Finishing off all the odd jobs that I've promised to do.
Been getting rid of rest of my stuff slowly. It will take a while but I know that when it's time to go everything will be in order.

 

[radrobin]

There is a LOT of old stuff in my mom's basement- mostly old toys from me and my sister but also lots of stuff from my dad's. I feel like I have to be the one to get rid of that stuff because nobody else will, especially not my mom. So that's something holding me back.

 

[Wayfaerer]

Is it possible for a 28-year-old to get a will?

 

[nerve]

One of the cooler things about being a NEET is that it leaves you with no real assets or affairs or accounts that need to be taken care of. I have a handful of boxes go through and that's it. When I'm feeling really suicidal, I start with the sorting/disposing process but always end up stepping back, so it's almost like this ongoing project for me.

I'm more concerned about the 10+ years of journals I've accumulated. Once I'm gone, the people I leave behind are probably going to look through them and there's a lot I don't want them to ever see. Just burning everything seems a little excessive and I don't think I could bear to anyway, so my only real option is to go through each page and decide whether or not to destroy it. That's so many pages

 

[radrobin]

I think the process of getting a will highly depends on which country you live in. It could raise a few eyebrows but I think it is possible.
@nnnerve why not burn them? Only this can guarantee that your secrets, well, stay secret. Or maybe bury them under the ground or at sea / in a river? Maybe that wouldn't feel as violent as burning.

And sorry if this is a rude question, but what's a NEET?

 

[JustLosingMyself]

Is it possible for a 28-year-old to get a will?

Yes,
as long as you're 'if sound mind' and legally an adult.
Having one makes life easier for those left behind; from a probate POV.

 

[vacant_n]

It's a nice idea but I barely have the energy to move from the bed to the couch right now, let alone dig through years of accumulated clutter. It would only bring up painful memories anyway.

 

[bravotess]

Ugh. I really should be doing this to make it easier for those left in this life but I can't get motivated. I'll be sure to leave the password to my phone, all of the login and password info needed to my various accounts, life insurance info, etc. But I don't foresee cleaning out my house.

 

[muffin222]

Yeah. If I decide to go through with ctb, it will take some time because I need to clean, box up belongings, write notes, and tie up additional loose ends

 

[heraclitus]

Got rid of material junk, cancelled website memberships, junked expired paperwork, put financial affairs in order and wrote a "What to do next" guide to accompany my will. Just waiting for a few last necessary elements to come together.

My life might be about to end - I need to make tidy provisions for those left behind.

 

[PJFord]

Absolutely. I want to make my CTB as easy as possible on my siblings. My apartment is pretty much boxed up. A few things left to box up the day I CTB. Fortunately, I'm a minimalist and don't have lots of clutter and stuff, and since COVID no one is visiting so it's been easy to pack up without raising suspicions.

I'Ve had a will for many years. I encourage everyone to have one. there are many free websites where you can create one, or just find some text online and write your own. Wills do not need to be notarized in the US but confirm the laws in your country. I have a To Do list for my family to help with my finances and other affairs. I also have a contract paid in full to pre-plan my arrangements for cremation. This is good to have because once the police are done, the mortuary will take over all the arrangements and my family won't have to deal with it.

As you might guess, I'm an organized person! People always look to me when some organizing of an event or project is needed. Organizing my life leading up to CTB has actually been very therapeutic. In this these final days, I can focus on doing the method correctly and not on other details.

 

[SadJessu]

I'm not positive as to when I'll CTB, so it's a slow moving process for me. I've managed to get my household organized a la Swedish Death Cleaning style, I just have to leave a list to my family as to what's exactly valuable, since I collect weird stuff. I'm in the process of creating a will, I've used the Covid-19 situation and a previous tuberculosis infection as a viable excuse to do so. I'm debating on what I should do with my animals, since I have a small homestead with ducks and chickens. They bring me great joy, but with the depression and chronic fatigue I find it difficult to care for them.

 

[VIBRITANNIA]

i hadn't thought about that, if i'm being honest. i was just planning on burning stuff that's personal to me and donating the rest.

 

[softfuzzyman]

I know it's selfish but I don't really intend to get any kind of affairs in order. If i had the ability to clean and deal with paperwork and selling stuff and that kind of thing I wouldn't be so depressed. So nah. I don't think I'll even have it in me to write a note of any substance because trying to write how I feel makes me have a breakdown so. I'm just gonna dip and whatever happens happens, I won't be the one who has to deal with it. My death will be a very selfish and erratic decision made by a miserable terrible person. I envy those of you who keep going long enough to actually have everything planned out well and can articulate stuff and make the decision and plan it out calmly and intellectually.

 

[Silver]

I have sorted out some paperwork to help my family know what bills I've paid and what bills are due. I've not been able to do anything else. My house needs cleaning, dishes washing, etc but I don't have the energy to do it. I have a lot of stuff but unfortunately can't pack it so someone else will have to.

 

[Beautiful Angel]

Yes actually plan on doing this this week coming up

 

[Rue89]

Not really. I go through spurts of getting rid of stuff and organizing. It's more for me, like I randomly get motivation to clean out my stuff, but as I do it I also realize it'll help my family, so I try to get rid of even more.

 

[Final Escape]

Not really. Only to a point. No energy to get all affairs in order. I'll try not to leave a huge mess at least.

I know it's selfish but I don't really intend to get any kind of affairs in order. If i had the ability to clean and deal with paperwork and selling stuff and that kind of thing I wouldn't be so depressed. So nah. I don't think I'll even have it in me to write a note of any substance because trying to write how I feel makes me have a breakdown so. I'm just gonna dip and whatever happens happens, I won't be the one who has to deal with it. My death will be a very selfish and erratic decision made by a miserable terrible person. I envy those of you who keep going long enough to actually have everything planned out well and can articulate stuff and make the decision and plan it out calmly and intellectually.

Same issue for me. Don't feel bad about it. You're not a bad person.

 

[Deleted member 1496]

Yes, that'll be my penultimate project. But it's hard to find the balance in whether to keep or toss in case my attempt is unsuccessful and I am required to live for longer. I really like my jar opener and I can't find it anywhere else.

 

[AlreadyGone]

No. I just feel that it is a delay tactic. My things are organized. When I am gone, my family can take what they want and sort it out themselves.

 

[catsarecool]

I'll definitely tidy up my apartment and make sure bills etc are paid. But I don't think I'll be able to handle anything bigger than that.

 

[Linda]

Question is in the title. For me personally I've been working on decluttering for a while- slowly getting rid of things I don't need. First of all stuff really weighs me down metaphorically as in that it makes me more depressed and stressed out. Getting rid of things makes me feel productive when really I'm not.

Another reason is that I don't want my family to have to deal with my stuff when I die. I've come across the term 'swedish death cleaning' that describes people decluttering before their death but I've only seen it used for elderly folks who know they are or will be sick and die. It's done to make things easier for the family.

What about you?

Personally I think it's a good idea to go through a decluttering exercise every 10 years or so, even if you are not planning to ctb. It makes life simpler, and it allows you to concentrate on the more important aspects of life. Coincidentally, my husband and I did one just last month, and we now have much more space as a result.

As regards decluttering if you plan to cb, I think it all depends on your circumstances, and who would otherwise have to do the job when you are gone. If it's going to be family or friends, you want to make things as easy as you can for them. If it's a house-clearing firm that has been instructed to act by a lawyer administering your estate, and which is going to make some money out of it, it really doesn't matter. I would certainly want to ensure that the important aspects of my affairs were in order, but whether or not that would extend to decluttering ordinary household items is something I can't say at this point.

 

[FriendofDeath]

One of the cooler things about being a NEET is that it leaves you with no real assets or affairs or accounts that need to be taken care of. I have a handful of boxes go through and that's it. When I'm feeling really suicidal, I start with the sorting/disposing process but always end up stepping back, so it's almost like this ongoing project for me.

I'm more concerned about the 10+ years of journals I've accumulated. Once I'm gone, the people I leave behind are probably going to look through them and there's a lot I don't want them to ever see. Just burning everything seems a little excessive and I don't think I could bear to anyway, so my only real option is to go through each page and decide whether or not to destroy it. That's so many pages

I actually did burn some of mine, and it was cathartic. Trying to spell that was not! If there are thing you want them to know, why not leave them?
Yes, it's been my plan to organize, but I usually feel physically pretty crappy. Still, I know what I went through, and I'd rather others didn't have to. So I'm gonna try!

 

[Wisdom3_1-9]

Written my will.
Written my notes.
Written my health care directive.
Can't put too much of my stuff away or get rid of it without arousing suspicion from my husband.
Nonetheless, I'm ready to go whenever, with my affairs mostly in order.

 

[BabyBirch]

i wish my mom did this.

it took me a solid month of nonstop decluttering, donating and rehoming before i could even begin to pack my own things. including all of the family photos and precious sentimental things. i lived in her apartment and had to move far away somewhere safe that i could afford. the mental drain of having to single-handedly clear out a mother of three's lifetime of material items plus my own in under the duress of eviction and my own grief made me hate her. she had a will but it was unsigned and therefore functionally useless. she did leave horrifying shit for me to find, though- electric carving knives, caster beans, and a fucking chainsaw in her closet. please do not do what my mom did to your own kids. the stress from losing my home and my mom all at once made my chronic health issues even worse, triggered androgenetic alopecia from adrenal depletion, i started vomiting from the stress and anxiety. especially if you are the caretaker of a sick child... please don't leave the burden all on them. i was de facto in charge by being her eldest and living with her. i had to crowdfund money to move. i can understand her death but not the position she put me in by not having basic paperwork in order or leaving ANY instructions. that was selfish and cruel.

there was no one BUT me to deal with it. COVID saw to that.

 

[Goghaway]

I'm just going to throw everything away. I don't want my family to suffer the added pain of sorting through my stuff. My mom knows I'm going to do this eventually, so I will just ask her if she wants to keep my cat or not when the time comes. Like some others have mentioned, I honestly don't have the physical or mental energy to go through stuff. I will try to donate my clothes if I can. I'm just waiting til after the election to peace out. Lol

i wish my mom did this.

it took me a solid month of nonstop decluttering, donating and rehoming before i could even begin to pack my own things. including all of the family photos and precious sentimental things. i lived in her apartment and had to move far away somewhere safe that i could afford. the mental drain of having to single-handedly clear out a mother of three's lifetime of material items plus my own in under the duress of eviction and my own grief made me hate her. she had a will but it was unsigned and therefore functionally useless. she did leave horrifying shit for me to find, though- electric carving knives, caster beans, and a fucking chainsaw in her closet. please do not do what my mom did to your own kids. the stress from losing my home and my mom all at once made my chronic health issues even worse, triggered androgenetic alopecia from adrenal depletion, i started vomiting from the stress and anxiety. especially if you are the caretaker of a sick child... please don't leave the burden all on them. i was de facto in charge by being her eldest and living with her. i had to crowdfund money to move. i can understand her death but not the position she put me in by not having basic paperwork in order or leaving ANY instructions. that was selfish and cruel.

there was no one BUT me to deal with it. COVID saw to that.

Jesus I'm so sorry. This sounds like a truly horrific experience. Are you saying that this is quite recent then? Or the deaths of other loved ones due to COVID...

 

[Joey]

I think the process of getting a will highly depends on which country you live in. It could raise a few eyebrows but I think it is possible.
@nnnerve why not burn them? Only this can guarantee that your secrets, well, stay secret. Or maybe bury them under the ground or at sea / in a river? Maybe that wouldn't feel as violent as burning.

And sorry if this is a rude question, but what's a NEET?

NEET means "No Education, Employment or Training."

Basically a person who never had a job and any real life experience.

 

[Emily_Numb]

I've had a will since I was 24. I'm in the UK. It's not really seen as suspicious, just organised. If you do have life insurance policies then please check the payout for Suicide. Often the policy won't pay out if it's not 2+ years old and even then I have a feeling it's not that simple.