Discussion Are you more afraid of continuing to live than of CTBing?

[dogemn]

Schopenhauer once wrote:

"It will generally be found that, as soon as the terrors of life reach the point at which they outweigh the terrors of death, a man will put an end to his life. But the terrors of death offer considerable resistance; they stand like a sentinel at the gate leading out of this world."

We all know that suicide is an extremely daunting thing to do, regardless of the method. Do you fear continuing to live more than you fear the act of ending your life?

 

[fedup1982]

I dont fear dying at all. What i fear is the pain required to die. I have no easy methods available to me. Ive tried many methods and all have failed. Fck life, fck society, fck existence, fck everything I just want to be gone back to my peaceful eternal slumber

 

[dogemn]

I dont fear dying at all. What i fear is the pain required to die. I have no easy methods available to me. Ive tried many methods and all have failed. Fck life, fck society, fck existence, fck everything I just want to be gone back to my peaceful eternal slumber

That sounds incredibly difficult, I'm very sorry to hear you're going through that. Personally I have access to SN with antiemetics and tons of xanax but I'm still afraid to do it because of the chance of something going wrong and failing. I already woke up in the ICU from an overdose once and I'm terrified of something like that happening again.

 

[kunikuzushi]

I fear the act of ending my life because I'm scared I'll fail and make my conditions worse. But I also fear continuing to live because the suffering will only get worse. So at this moment, I would say I fear them equally, which is why I'm stuck and don't know what to do.

 

[fedup1982]

That sounds incredibly difficult, I'm very sorry to hear you're going through that. Personally I have access to SN with antiemetics and tons of xanax but I'm still afraid to do it because of the chance of something going wrong and failing. I already woke up in the ICU from an overdose once and I'm terrified of something like that happening again.

Im in the same position with SN although I don't have anti emetics or benzos, the only ones I could get were dud fakes, very disappointing. Im also scared about how much suffering SN would entail since I dont feel like I can rely on reports given people said other methods were peaceful and they were anything but

 

[Hiro Uchiha]

Life feels so much different when you accepted you can and will do it.

 

[FuneralCry]

Continuing to suffer in this terrible, dreadful and torturous existence I always saw as a mistake is all I fear, I find it terrifying how a human can suffer for so long in this painful, cruel and deeply undesirable existence with no limit as to how much they can be tortured just to die in agony from old age.

All I hope for is to be gone, I just want to never suffer again and I always suffer so much as a result of being burdened with this existence that I just never would had chosen, all I want is to be gone and no matter what I'll just always prefer to not exist, I see existence as an abomination that just causes harm and suffering and I always suffer so much from being denied a guaranteed painless, death to escape from the suffering of existing.

 

[itsgone2]

I said continuing to live like most but does that make any sense? If true then we're choosing what we're more afraid of? Or SI gives us no choice? I hate this trap. It feels like life is a trap.

 

[MyShadow]

We all know that suicide is an extremely daunting thing to do, regardless of the method. Do you fear continuing to live more than you fear the act of ending your life?

Thoughts of suicide have been on my mind since I was very young. Now that I am much older and circumstances in my life have prevented a comfortable future for myself, so dying now would save me from the vulnerability, loneliness and most likely poverty that await me in the future.

Yet, as a sentient creature, I fear the pain of dying. It's a strange paradox.

 

[Alexandra_]

Life scares me much more than death

 

[Forveleth]

I am not afraid of either. I have made a few attempts to kill myself, and even though they were not successful, they showed me that I am not afraid to die. I know that when my life gets bad enough that I cannot take it anymore, I will have suicide as an option, so I am neither afraid to live nor die.

 

[Namelesa]

I would say living is more scary due to the risk of harm i can experience from it from things like people leaving me or me doing anything wrong. I mostly just haven't killed myself yet cus of that i am unable to get anything to effectively kill myself with.

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

I fear continuing to live because I could fall into a trap which is a hell a trillion times worse than anyone has seen anywhere, a quadrilion time worse than anyone can imagine

I can suffer only while alive. I can't suffer if I don't exist which is what Death is

I don't fear my Death. Death is Non-existence forever. eternal Non-existence is as good as this nightmare is bad : a hell a trillion times worse than anyone has seen even on this site or anywhere, a quadrilion time worse than anyone can imagine. This Permanent Non-existence is the ultimate perfection.

I fear failing a suicide attempt and remaining alive but with even more physical damage

 

[FadingSnowFake]

I'm more afraid "to live" because in living we have to feel, and when broken it's better to just exist as opposed to feel and be alive. But to just exist, is not really a life. So, for me, the prospect of living is more daunting, and living while empty inside, is the reason for wanting to go, since the empty existence becomes unbearable. I think leaving will in some ways just be a formality, with nothing left inside.

 

[LetMeOut67]

My life is agony
The terror of loneliness the terror of losing control the terror of insanity