Are you just using the idea of suicide as a distraction or fantasy or an escape from problems? I am!

[JamieJambo]

In the past month my life has plummeted. Everything has turned to shit and is beyond belief how far down its gone.

For the past week I have been looking at methods to kill myself. Because I can hardly face the damage done to my life.

However when I actually think of going through with it and how traumatic that event might be, I know in my core that there is no way that I can ever go through with it.

However I keep looking up suicide methods, because the thought of it gives me relief. Relief from my problems. A feeling that I can escape the reality of my life. So i keep fantasising and pretending to myself that I might actually do it, even though when push comes to shove I won't be able to.

I could imagine there are many others here like me?

Pretending that you are going to kill yourself is an addictive distraction no?

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

Same same

 

[JamieJambo]

Same same

That's nice to know

I know there are those who are serious about it, but my god, suicide sounds like one of the most unpleasant things imaginable, when I start to commit to to the idea, I realise just how awful it must be, to actually go for it full hog, and I realised that there is no way I could do it

I think to go by your own hand might be worse than any other way, to wilfully harm yourself in that way just seems so grim

 

[TheBroken]

Nope - all planned - two weeks until last insurance policy is in full effect. Will take a few weeks to finalize prep, but going for sure.

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

That's nice to know

I know there are those who are serious about it, but my god, suicide sounds like one of the most unpleasant things imaginable, when I start to commit to to the idea, I realise just how awful it must be, to actually go for it full hog, and I realised that there is no way I could do it

I think to go by your own hand might be worse than any other way, I think I'd prefer to be murdered. by someone else.

There's a big difference between wanted to cease and disappear and actually doing anything about it. Actually ending your life requires a tremendous amount of courage and motivation. Right now I am not motivated to do anything at all. So my life deteriorates.

 

[FuneralCry]

In my case, I am trapped in this world as it is very difficult for me to ctb. I'm not sure if I will ever be able to go through with it, unless I am extremely desperate and that thought is so depressing. I do think about it all the time and it is all that I want. The thought of dying is very comforting to me, I just wish that it was easier to get there. I deserve to peacefully pass away. It is cruel how the society tries to force us to live and expects us to suffer for decades.

 

[thedaywillcome]

I am depressed and cant stand this life. Its because how flawed I am born. I am pretty sure I will leave this life by suicide.

 

[CemetryGates]

It's more a case of comfort, but I do intend to take my own life when I find myself with no ties left in this world and I can finally rest when the time is right.

 

[pikku.tiikeri]

I wish I could use it as a distraction, but I cannot. Suicide is my goal, but I'm too cowardly to kill myself. I hate my life, I hate myself for being such a coward, I hate the fact that I'm still living. I just want to kill myself, but I'm not able to muster up the courage to do it.

 

[JamieJambo]

Yeah the thought of death brings comfort for when you don't want to live anymore. But actually going through with it, at that very moment when you are about to do it, has to be the most grim and traumatic things you could possibly imagine. That for me is too grim for me to be able to actually do.

I wish I could use it as a distraction, but I cannot. Suicide is my goal, but I'm too cowardly to kill myself. I hate my life, I hate myself for being such a coward, I hate the fact that I'm still living. I just want to kill myself, but I'm not able to muster up the courage to do it.

Its too scary

I don't think its cowardous not being able to do it. I think its wise. You recognise that in reality killing yourself is a disaster decision, and therefore you can't do it. You can't make yourself do something that makes things worse, which is smart or at least that's how I feel myself

 

[its-about-time]

It's an effective coping tool. I do hope I actually do it, and I intend to, but it's very hard to go from "I intend to do it" to "I'm actually literally doing it right now." Guess there's no huge rush or anything but I'm getting impatient lately. Fantasizing about it is getting a little old.

 

[JamieJambo]

It's an effective coping tool. I do hope I actually do it, and I intend to, but it's very hard to go from "I intend to do it" to "I'm actually literally doing it right now." Guess there's no huge rush or anything but I'm getting impatient lately. Fantasizing about it is getting a little old.

Can I ask what way would you do it?

I can't think of a way that I am comfortable with. They all sounds grim

 

[its-about-time]

Can I ask what way would you do it?

I can't think of a way that I am comfortable with. They all sounds grim

SN. It's the best option I've found and I feel it's tolerable for me. Doesn't mean it's going to be fun though, if I get to the point of doing it.

 

[JamieJambo]

SN. It's the best option I've found and I feel it's tolerable for me. Doesn't mean it's going to be fun though, if I get to the point of doing it.

Where can one get that?

 

[its-about-time]

Where can one get that?

Internet. I'm in the US, it's legal to buy here, wasnt hard to find a source off Google.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

No. I'm the real deal. Studying ways. Muddling along, as best I am able, until I can, which isn't that far off, really.

 

[Siterfau]

Yes. I get a lot of anxiety from thinking about my future and dealing with the evergrowing pile of problems I have with college. Suicide's a nice escape from that because if I do it, I would never have to deal with those issues. Unless something major changes, I don't think I'll be able to convince myself to go through with it though because aside from those problems, I'm kinda okay-ish with life.

It also doesn't help that the only method I have easy access to is hanging, which isn't pleasant and has grave consequences if I don't die from it.

 

[JamieJambo]

No. I'm the real deal. Studying ways. Muddling along, as best I am able, until I can, which isn't that far off, real

Yes. I get a lot of anxiety from thinking about my future and dealing with the evergrowing pile of problems I have with college. Suicide's a nice escape from that because if I do it, I would never have to deal with those issues. Unless something major changes, I don't think I'll be able to convince myself to go through with it though because aside from those problems, I'm kinda okay-ish with life.

It also doesn't help that the only method I have easy access to is hanging, which isn't pleasant and has grave consequences if I don't die from it.

Thats my thoughts to about hanging. I couldn't imagine how bad it would be to live the rest of my life crippled on top of all the problems i have

 

[AstroV]

Yeah it's the same for me. Contemplating just gives me a sense of calm. I have doubts about ever being able to go through with it but at the same time I feel like my CTB is inevitable. Like fate. It's a weird dichotomy for me

 

[user_name_here]

My intentions are very genuine. My last attempt was frighteningly close.

I'm just tired with being an embarrassment, a failure, a drain on resources and peoples time.

I worry because my loved ones know I'm suicidal and it's extremely selfish to make them worry but I just hate myself. It's not a result of not facing my own issues, life simply isn't that simple