Are you guys getting any?

[CowsAreCool]

I'd like to preface this by saying I'm not desperate, and I don't care all that much about sex. It's not a fundamental issue in my life. I'm just curious. Are you guys getting any? Does it help or hurt your depression/other issues?

I'm 22, in good shape, at college. I'm in extracurricular clubs and I go to the gym regularly. I'm friendly and talk with classmates. But I haven't been with a girl since my long term girlfriend broke up with me almost 2 years ago now. Not even a date.

Is this normal? I might just not be trying hard enough. I don't have any close group of friends or go to parties. I'd like to, but I don't see much going on. I live alone (not on campus) and spend most my time either studying or working.

I feel like the notion that young adults (especially college kids) are having tons of sex isn't really true. It's true with small cliques of people, but not most. Just my guess.

I'm not into the casual multiple partner thing anyway. I want what most people want, a meaningful relationship. I just think it's interesting that the opportunity hasn't even remotely presented itself. It doesn't even seem like people date anymore. I meet like 3 women a year.

Is it cause I'm not on dating apps? What is it? Do I need to go to bars (I don't drink)? Am I incredibly boring? I'm not too worried now, but I don't really want to die alone.

What's your take?

 

[jodes2]

My sex drive is piss poor. My gf has a go at me a lot for it, like it's my fault. It doesn't help that she never dresses up or wears makeup anymore. It definitely makes life worse.

Have you tried dating websites? Or speed dating? You should :)

Yeah my gf is always comparing our sex life to people who have sex multiple times per week, it's not healthy

It's hard dying when you're in a relationship. Leaving behind a loss for them. It's a lot easier to CTB while single, bare that in mind

 

[Hollowman]

I have a fb that comes over a couple times a week. I'm so fucked up and depressed I barely even enjoy it.

 

[wasteofspace22]

I've had sex twice in my life and I'm 19. Never had a relationship due to severe mental health issues, I doubt I ever will either now anyways

 

[jane]

yea but i have no real intrest in it. too busy being mentally ill i guess

 

[Julgran]

I'd like to preface this by saying I'm not desperate, and I don't care all that much about sex. It's not a fundamental issue in my life. I'm just curious. Are you guys getting any? Does it help or hurt your depression/other issues?

I'm 22, in good shape, at college. I'm in extracurricular clubs and I go to the gym regularly. I'm friendly and talk with classmates. But I haven't been with a girl since my long term girlfriend broke up with me almost 2 years ago now. Not even a date.

Is this normal? I might just not be trying hard enough. I don't have any close group of friends or go to parties. I'd like to, but I don't see much going on. I live alone (not on campus) and spend most my time either studying or working.

I feel like the notion that young adults (especially college kids) are having tons of sex isn't really true. It's true with small cliques of people, but not most. Just my guess.

I'm not into the casual multiple partner thing anyway. I want what most people want, a meaningful relationship. I just think it's interesting that the opportunity hasn't even remotely presented itself. It doesn't even seem like people date anymore. I meet like 3 women a year.

Is it cause I'm not on dating apps? What is it? Do I need to go to bars (I don't drink)? Am I incredibly boring? I'm not too worried now, but I don't really want to die alone.

What's your take?

I can only wish you the best, since I can't seem to attract anyone at all.....

You may have better luck in a few years from now, when or if you have landed i high-paying job...

 

[Hollowman]

I can only wish you the best, since I can't seem to attract anyone at all.....

You may have better luck in a few years from now, when or if you have landed i high-paying job...

A high paying job isn't nessasary to get laid.

 

[Julgran]

A high paying job isn't nessasary to get laid.

I'm happy for you!

 

[Sick&TiredURGH]

Hang around in the library near books you like?
Or join a book club?
Books were always a good way of connecting with people when I was younger.
Admittedly that was before the craziness of the digital age.

 

[Raskolnikov's Axe]

Never had luck in love as a teen. I guess now that I am older I look better because women wanted to date me but I refused. I still cling on to a failed romance a few years ago. I don't Harbour any hopes that it will ever happen, though. I can't even make myself happy, how can I expect to make someone else happy?

 

[Hollowman]

I'm happy for you!

Don't be I'm not worthy

 

[Mixo]

I'm trying to remember which movie this line comes from, as it so aptly sums up how I feel: "What you want, you ain't getting. What you getting... you don't want."

 

[outatime_85]

After the failure of my relationships (friendships and intimate ones), I accepted the fact that I was an overall failure, and I chose the path of walking alone.

There was no more need for me to go through more failures in those departments.

Responding to the OP:

No, I don't "get any," and that is fine.

Besides, I have been alone for such an extremely long time that I do not look for it, nor have I given it much thought.

Now, I exercise, read, and meditate.

That being said, if someone of the opposite sex liked or approached me at this point, it would be a surprise.

 

[wasteofspace22]

Never had luck in love as a teen. I guess now that I am older I look better because women wanted to date me but I refused. I still cling on to a failed romance a few years ago. I don't Harbour any hopes that it will ever happen, though. I can't even make myself happy, how can I expect to make someone else happy?

Are you a virgin I'm guessing then?

 

[Mixo]

If you're 22 and in good shape with a future ahead of you, I'd say your chances are better overall than many people. Give it time.

 

[wasteofspace22]

If you're 22 and in good shape with a future ahead of you, I'd say your chances are better overall than many people. Give it time.

I'm 19 and it's already over for me

 

[Nanako]

Not really, I barely have the energy/will to do anything these days

 

[freedompass]

No, thank god. Sex has been bad news for me since I was 9 and my father decided to molest me. Being free of any thought or desire for intimacy is crazy liberating. I don't miss touch, don't need hugs, do I need drama, toxicity and abuse? Or to be targeted as prey, objectified, demeaned, taken advantage of and exploited? Feel like a goddamn fool, have my heart stomped on, experience rejection and abandonment?

When you stop hitting your head against a wall, it feels great.

 

[Lily (Osako)]

I have several guys who are trying to start something with me. Idk if they are looking for sex or a relationship, but I'm not really interested in either.
I'd love for everything to be different and want to fall in love again or even just want to have a physical relationship with someone. But there's something wrong with me now. I don't have whatever it is that drives people to search for that connection with another person anymore. I wish I did, but it's just not there.
I even have plenty of guys flooding my dms on Facebook wanting to talk to me and probably hook up. Instead of feeling flattered, I'm grossed out by it.
I wish I had an answer for you, but I'm on the opposite side of the issue and don't even have an answer for myself.

 

[lofticries]

The only men I've had in my life are ben and Jerry. But then again I rarely leave my house.

 

[hamvil]

I did not have sex for the last two or three years and for the last 5 possibly with my wife. I have started not to miss it anymore. Initially my wife would push me a bit to do it but I did not feel any sexual attraction. Now she stopped trying and we go on with our sad lives. I do not love her anymore but for some strage reason she loves me. I would like to be her and at least knowing again what loving means. I just forgot that. I guess I could go an pay for sex but I doubt it would be much better than masturbating. Sex for me used to start with the mind, with the verbal foreplay that maybe you do in a dinner out... you cannot pay for those or maybe you can but it is really expensive.

 

[Hollowillow]

The purpose of sex is to have a baby. My SI knows I wouldn't survive such demanding process. I have no libido. Due to trauma & not finding the right person, I'm a 42 years old virgin. I was abused but never raped. Ha! Fuck you thise who tried! Technically I took my own virginity. Had fun. But it feels like running a marathon & I need rest. I just want to snuggle without being molested. I'm not putting a child in this world. EVER! I'll sepuku that baby if I have to. Why have an orgasm for 1 minutes to torture my future child for 100 years. Fuck getting high I'd rather be depressed. It's more peaceful than prolonging this hell with babies

 

[CowsAreCool]

Hang around in the library near books you like?
Or join a book club?
Books were always a good way of connecting with people when I was younger.
Admittedly that was before the craziness of the digital age.

I wish there were still book clubs around. That sounds like an awesome way to even just make friends. Nothing like that where I am though. Small town small college.

No, thank god. Sex has been bad news for me since I was 9 and my father decided to molest me. Being free of any thought or desire for intimacy is crazy liberating. I don't miss touch, don't need hugs, do I need drama, toxicity and abuse? Or to be targeted as prey, objectified, demeaned, taken advantage of and exploited? Feel like a goddamn fool, have my heart stomped on, experience rejection and abandonment?

When you stop hitting your head against a wall, it feels great.

That's really horrible. I'm terribly sorry that happened to you. It's interesting you find it liberating to be free from wanting intimacy. I suppose it gives you the freedom to focus on other things in life? Or simply because you find intimacy to be exploitative?

Many people feel abandonment from a lack of intimacy. I'm in that boat. I observe the world but I'm not really a part of it. But in a way that makes me free from it.

Unique perspective

 

[bubo]

Yeah, i'm not getting any dick over here lol. I'm 26-year-old woman, generally, most would find me attractive since i'm tall and skinny (that's the standard for models, is it not?) but i'm a virgin nonetheless if you don't count me being raped as a child as any form of sexual intercourse since it wasn't consensual. Though, i don't really mind this since i don't really have a big sex drive nor do i really understand the appeal of sex to begin with, actually, the idea of it grosses me out entirely and i'd never want to not be a virgin. Touch or things like that are just disgust me in general yet alone the idea of sex involving a bunch of fluids and sweat against skin, it's just ew.
I apologize i can't find the picture-perfect way to describe my feelings on it but i do believe this is good enough to make coherent sense and somewhat answer your question.

 

[FinalBossu]

I've never had sex. Never been in a relationship. Never been in love.
Sometimes I admittedly get upset because it feels like I'm missing out on an important part of human connection.
On the other hand, it's not like I've ever met anyone who was really worth my time anyways. Most humans suck.

"Here lies Accela, she never scored"

 

[Rocinante]

Impossible as a 5'8" male

 

[Blondi]

No , i am very picky

 

[4hrs50min]

I wish my sex drive was 99% lower, impulsive and addictive tendencies around the subject played a big part in fucking my life up.

I've had pretty regularly getting it, I don't believe I ever will again, right now im showering ever 3rd day and presenting myself like anxiety with legs

 

[JustSwingingTheD]

I'd like to preface this by saying I'm not desperate, and I don't care all that much about sex. It's not a fundamental issue in my life. I'm just curious. Are you guys getting any? Does it help or hurt your depression/other issues?

I'm 22, in good shape, at college. I'm in extracurricular clubs and I go to the gym regularly. I'm friendly and talk with classmates. But I haven't been with a girl since my long term girlfriend broke up with me almost 2 years ago now. Not even a date.

Is this normal? I might just not be trying hard enough. I don't have any close group of friends or go to parties. I'd like to, but I don't see much going on. I live alone (not on campus) and spend most my time either studying or working.

I feel like the notion that young adults (especially college kids) are having tons of sex isn't really true. It's true with small cliques of people, but not most. Just my guess.

I'm not into the casual multiple partner thing anyway. I want what most people want, a meaningful relationship. I just think it's interesting that the opportunity hasn't even remotely presented itself. It doesn't even seem like people date anymore. I meet like 3 women a year.

Is it cause I'm not on dating apps? What is it? Do I need to go to bars (I don't drink)? Am I incredibly boring? I'm not too worried now, but I don't really want to die alone.

What's your take?

I'm 28 and i have had one fuck buddy in my life. Kissed a total of two girls. On top of this a bunch of prostitutes. This lack of sex is mostly because i have a biting malfunction, and i grew up to be quite an ugly man because of it. I'm going to a big jaw surgery soon, and if it succeeds i might see myself having more company in the future.

If the surgery fails i will CTB. Not because of "pain", it's been so long i hardly care about these things anymore, emotionally speaking. Life is just too fucking boring when you're not having sex.

 

[CowsAreCool]

I'm 28 and i have had one fuck buddy in my life. Kissed a total of two girls. On top of this a bunch of prostitutes. This lack of sex is mostly because i have a biting malfunction, and i grew up to be quite an ugly man because of it. I'm going to a big jaw surgery soon, and if it succeeds i might see myself having more company in the future.

If the surgery fails i will CTB. Not because of "pain", it's been so long i hardly care about these things anymore, emotionally speaking. Life is just too fucking boring when you're not having sex.

That sucks. I hope they fix your jaw. I know jawline is a beauty standard in western cultures.

I think confidence is the most important thing. I've seen so many couples where the guy is wildly less attractive, and it's usually because the guy is funny or confident. Looks are maybe half of it.

I don't have the energy to be confident these days, but hey. My life is so boring I seriously doubt that sex would be the game changer. But it matters different amounts to different people and that makes sense

No , i am very picky

That's what I'm telling myself. My standards are just too high. If I meet my soulmate, I'll know.

Lol

Yeah, i'm not getting any dick over here lol. I'm 26-year-old woman, generally, most would find me attractive since i'm tall and skinny (that's the standard for models, is it not?) but i'm a virgin nonetheless if you don't count me being raped as a child as any form of sexual intercourse since it wasn't consensual. Though, i don't really mind this since i don't really have a big sex drive nor do i really understand the appeal of sex to begin with, actually, the idea of it grosses me out entirely and i'd never want to not be a virgin. Touch or things like that are just disgust me in general yet alone the idea of sex involving a bunch of fluids and sweat against skin, it's just ew.
I apologize i can't find the picture-perfect way to describe my feelings on it but i do believe this is good enough to make coherent sense and somewhat answer your question.

Yes, your reply is very coherent. It sounds like you might be asexual, and there's nothing wrong with that. Or just a low sex drive.

It actually sounds nice. Just a type of frustration that you don't have to deal with per se. If there were a button to be ace I might just push it. Though I do one day want kids. Maybe.

I'm truly sorry to hear about what happened to you as a kid. With that context it's totally understandable you don't want to be touched. And yeah I'd say you are still a virgin, that in no way counts.

Sex isn't the only form of affection, though. Close friends and relationships. Deep personal connections. It's the opposite side of the same coin. I hope you are at least getting some of that.