Discussion Are you going to inform people about your death...?

[Are you lost too?]

I'm not going to tell anyone, no suicide note, nothing... mainly because I don''t want to upset my mother and sister, so I'm going to make it look like I accidentally overdosed on Tylenol with a migraine. (at least that's my draft plan)

If I don't use SN, then I will go the old-fashioned way....

No Water, No food, and hope within 9 days or less for relief via Heaven.

I will, however, conveniently leave out a diary journal of sorts nearby, along with poetry that will be very revealing about how I feel.

I say this with reservation, as I keep worrying about my mother.... it's making me hesitate a whole lot.

I'm torn about when to ctb, but I think i will have no choice if I cannot pay my rent.... even though I love my Mom.

I can't go though more evil trauma, I just cannot.


A knight in shining armor is WAY overdue...


View attachment 18731


I guess that's humanity, and this planet. I'm just not designed for all this.

I'm sorry you feel such pain. I'm sending you good thoughts, and I hope you find peace.

you have a valid point, absolutely. I just meant that if I do get SN, I thought it was difficult to confirm in an autopsy so I figured they would not understand why I passed on to the other side... that maybe with enough Tylenol it will look like my liver failed.

It's weird to think of some stranger doing an autopsy on my sad, tired physical vessel, Ewww!
*sigh* I hope they are at least good looking and have some basic morals...

The sn probably comes on the autopsy - the person get a little bit blue and the blood turns brown.

 

[Dreamwithinadream]

I just want to disappear. I won't be notifying anyone. When and how my friends find out doesn't matter.

 

[deadalready1969]

And I don't want anyone to know when I'm gone. I don't want any sort of funeral or memorial.

 

[Are you lost too?]

And I don't want anyone to know when I'm gone. I don't want any sort of funeral or memorial.

I also don't want that. But have no idea if my will will be respected.

I've actually thought about this a bit because I don't really know what to do with my social media when I decide to ctb. Should I leave it? Erase it? At the end of the day, I never cared for SM so I don't really care what happens to it after I leave. (I hardly post or look at it anyway.) part of me thinks that if you post a good bye on it you're pretty much asking for help. So I wouldnt.
I would like to leave a small note to my best friend telling her thank you for all these years that we've been together and sorry that I would be leaving her.
I don't really have anything else to say to anyone else. Some people have been good to me but I feel weird sending them a (delayed) message because we don't each other that well and I don't want them to feel guilty.

I'll erase all my social media, because I find creepy to think of it hanging around for years and years and because I don't want the page to become those memorials. I'll be dead So there is no use for the hypocrisy, thank you.

 

[Aolelife]

I got off of social media a few years back because the depression got too intense. I noticed it was either friends with pictures of how great their life is, or friends complaining about how bad their life was. I didn't want to see either. I also did not want to get drunk or high one night and let anyone know how I really feel. So I will leave a note for my family, and a couple emails for my few close friends apologizing.

I had an idea about getting arrested for something non-violent but long enough so when I kill myself, it could be blamed on me not wanting to go to prison. Maybe like robbing a bank or having enough drugs on me to get sentenced for like 5 years. At least they would think I had a somewhat reasonable reason. That way they won't feel as guilty or responsible.

 

[Are you lost too?]

I got off of social media a few years back because the depression got too intense. I noticed it was either friends with pictures of how great their life is, or friends complaining about how bad their life was. I didn't want to see either. I also did not want to get drunk or high one night and let anyone know how I really feel. So I will leave a note for my family, and a couple emails for my few close friends apologizing.

I had an idea about getting arrested for something non-violent but long enough so when I kill myself, it could be blamed on me not wanting to go to prison. Maybe like robbing a bank or having enough drugs on me to get sentenced for like 5 years. At least they would think I had a somewhat reasonable reason. That way they won't feel as guilty or responsible.

Oh dear I think they would feel responsible the same way. That's just human nature unfortunately

 

[Rising Phoenix]

I've already told all my close friends and family that I'm going to CTB when I'm old.

 

[Are you lost too?]

I've already told all my close friends and family that I'm going to CTB when I'm old.

But do you plan on doing that sooner ?

 

[Rising Phoenix]

But do you plan on doing that sooner ?

No unless my health gets worse.

 

[Yoko26]

I'm sorry you feel such pain. I'm sending you good thoughts, and I hope you find peace.

The sn probably comes on the autopsy - the person get a little bit blue and the blood turns brown.

I was thinking the same, using something like Nembutal and leave a note saying please tell it was a heart attack...or making a tattoo on my chest with don't resucitate letters. But the same here I don't wanna hurt my mom.
I just can't stand so much pain, I lost my fiancé a month ago and I just can't keep alive without him.

 

[Jen0804]

Yes I'll be leaving emails except they won't be clear until after I've done the deed, I'm leaving loving:grateful for all you did for me emails and will send them about one minute before I ctb so it will be too late even if recipient was psychic

I've already kept up and perfected my mask act "I'm fine ! :)" so nobody will understand it.

I'll be changing my profile pictures to pics I want to be remembered by
(Smiling happier)
That's about it

 

[Are you lost too?]

I was thinking the same, using something like Nembutal and leave a note saying please tell it was a heart attack...or making a tattoo on my chest with don't resucitate letters. But the same here I don't wanna hurt my mom.
I just can't stand so much pain, I lost my fiancé a month ago and I just can't keep alive without him.

I'm really sorry you're going through this. Sending you warm Thoughts

Yes I'll be leaving emails except they won't be clear until after I've done the deed, I'm leaving loving:grateful for all you did for me emails and will send them about one minute before I ctb so it will be too late even if recipient was psychic

I've already kept up and perfected my mask act "I'm fine ! :)" so nobody will understand it.

I'll be changing my profile pictures to pics I want to be remembered by
(Smiling happier)
That's about it

I'm also using this mask but not to perfection. Anyway I'm totally pretending I wanna live, when I clearly don't. This is gonna make them feel very guilty, it bothers me a lot, but... it's my life and I just can't keep going on because my family loves me. I should have some will to live for myself. Unfortunately I no longer see what's the point in life, and why go through so much suffering.

 

[NickStanfield]

Interesting question and one I've spent a lot of time with.

No, no notes, no changes on social media, nothing of the sort. I intend to make as close to 100% sure that there's no way to fail, but...

In the event that were to happen, someone were to find me, something were to go wrong and I fail, there are a bunch of reasons I don't want to have to start with whatever I put into a "goodbye" letter as my "welcome back" note. There's a somewhat decent shot that my CTB might be mistaken for a natural death and that would go a long way towards making those I care about (and some I don't) take the whole thing differently than if I published my thoughts and feelings about why I made the choices I did. It could impact legal concerns and post-death estate issues.

And frankly, I've spent the majority of my life trying to communicate to the world how fucked up things are. I've come to the conclusion that no one cares. Anything I say will only hurt those I care about and give fuel to those I don't, so why invest the time I have left focusing on it.

 

[Reyki6667]

No.
That will just throw your suicide plans to the ditch.

 

[purplemoon]

Interesting question and one I've spent a lot of time with.

No, no notes, no changes on social media, nothing of the sort. I intend to make as close to 100% sure that there's no way to fail, but...

In the event that were to happen, someone were to find me, something were to go wrong and I fail, there are a bunch of reasons I don't want to have to start with whatever I put into a "goodbye" letter as my "welcome back" note. There's a somewhat decent shot that my CTB might be mistaken for a natural death and that would go a long way towards making those I care about (and some I don't) take the whole thing differently than if I published my thoughts and feelings about why I made the choices I did. It could impact legal concerns and post-death estate issues.

And frankly, I've spent the majority of my life trying to communicate to the world how fucked up things are. I've come to the conclusion that no one cares. Anything I say will only hurt those I care about and give fuel to those I don't, so why invest the time I have left focusing on it.

very eloquently communicated, and you make excellent points. I think that's an intelligent approach and it helps reinforce some things I've reflected on as well.

If you've communicated to the world how ruthless it is, it seems you are correct that unfortunately many do not care.

It seems the only people that truly do care for people like us and maybe 10% of the human population that has empathy, compassion, and a conscience.

I care, but I want to leave also. Who knows, maybe one day we might be friends in heaven.

Whatever you decide to do, ultimately I wish you peace and comfort regardless.

 

[woxihuanni]

Nobody is affected in any way whatsoever, and nobody needs to know. A couple of people will notice in a while, because they already know I will kill myself. The rest won't even notice.

 

[Wreck-it-Riley]

I will be leaving a note. And probably going to call my mother an hour before. Anyone who would notice i am gone i will be saying goodbye to in my note.

 

[hahabye]

I will be leaving a note. And probably going to call my mother an hour before. Anyone who would notice i am gone i will be saying goodbye to in my note.

I don't think I could bear it to call my mom before that... I already am having trouble communicating with her while knowing that I have my ctb planned. But of course that's nice of you to do, I'm sure she'll appreciate the last talk with you forever.

 

[Wreck-it-Riley]

I don't think I could bear it to call my mom before that... I already am having trouble communicating with her while knowing that I have my ctb planned. But of course that's nice of you to do, I'm sure she'll appreciate the last talk with you forever.

She tried to poison me a few years ago for transitioning. Less than a month after getting out of the hospital for an attempt too. We haven't spoken in 3 years and i would be calling to let her know how badly she fucked up. No matter what she does there is no way she would be able to stop my CTB, we live hours apart and they don't know where i live. Will call from IP phone so they cant use my number to get police to check on me.

They would never know about my suicide if i don't call. If they meet my daughter sometime in the future they will find out but nobody will tell them otherwise.

 

[hahabye]

She tried to poison me a few years ago for transitioning. Less than a month after getting out of the hospital for an attempt too. We haven't spoken in 3 years and i would be calling to let her know how badly she fucked up. No matter what she does there is no way she would be able to stop my CTB, we live hours apart and they don't know where i live. Will call from IP phone so they cant use my number to get police to check on me.

They would never know about my suicide if i don't call. If they meet my daughter sometime in the future they will find out but nobody will tell them otherwise.

I'm sorry, I completely misjudged the situation! I'm sad to hear she mistreated you like that, it sounds absolutely terrible trying to poison her own child?! But at the same time I envy you the ease with which you will be able to call her one last time.

 

[Lethe]

I'll be writing a note to my family, as well as a couple other notes to my online friends.