Discussion Are you better or worse off because of this site?

[ctbcat]

If I'm honest, I do feel as if I was worse off for a period, but I am still grateful to this site for giving me an outlet when I otherwise had none. I dislike that people are culturally conditioned to tattle to authorities when their friends express ideation or intent, & as far as I'm aware things have not always been that way. The fear of sectioning will make anyone reclusive & self-censoring.

 

[darksouls]

better off

 

[echoINTHEMIRROR]

I feel better just bc i have a place to go where i dont feel like im gonna get put back into isolation or like im gonna have all eyes on me for wanting to die

 

[hurts2b]

I'm not scared of sanctions. They never happen for ideation alone (where I live) that's written into our health policy.
I'm not 100% set on my intent or method, so they can't sanction me on that basis either.

I like this site though. Next-to-no robots, no ads, no influencers, nobody begging for your money, no rent seeking from the site owners. I just like the fourm style internet I think.

Dunno if this place has any effect on my mental state beyond giving me something to do with my endless free time. Unemployment is a bitch either way.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I feel better off- in terms of having a place I feel able to vent and be honest about how I feel. In terms of my attitides towards and probability that I will suicide- that has stayed the same.

 

[starboy2k]

better off.

when you are used to people in real life pushing you aside, dismissing the thoughts THEY ASK YOU FOR because you may be a little pessimistic and realistic ….its a breathe of fresh air to be in a forum with people who hears you, make you feel seen and not make you feel crazy for noticing and acknowledging shit society generally ignores because everyone wants to wear those "rose colored lens" when its benefits them personally.

 

[Front Back]

Reading other vent makes me better and doing research for better CTB plan makes it better, I'll die for sure but that doesn't mean any worse.

 

[returntothestars]

Better. I've lived with suicidal ideation since childhood and am now in my late twenties. It's an outlet for me. One where I don't have to fear involuntary commitment.

 

[skiski_what]

I'm in kind of a gray area, for so long I could think about doing some things and have the intention of doing that. This place has given me a way to make that a reality with the help of people who are experienced or have information I probably wouldn't have gotten on my own. I've even met some cool people and speak openly on topics considered "taboo." But now its 90% of what I think about. While that isn't a bad thing necessarily since ctb'ing will come one way or another, I've still gotta fake it till i make it if yk what im laying lol

At least here, I don't have to be worried about entitling to people that would only be there when they needed something, near everyone here I've met has been nice and considerate, even though most of us are going through very real and harsh problems. I've never been a part of a forum, and this has been a nice first time being involved somewhere like this.

 

[sleazyyyy]

If I'm honest, I do feel as if I was worse off for a period, but I am still grateful to this site for giving me an outlet when I otherwise had none. I dislike that people are culturally conditioned to tattle to authorities when their friends express ideation or intent, & as far as I'm aware things have not always been that way. The fear of sectioning will make anyone reclusive & self-censoring.

I feel better off on this site.

Whenever I tried telling people how I felt before, it was always the same distant comfort. "I hope you get through this," "you'll move forward eventually." as if I wasn't already trying my hardest to stay afloat. It felt like I was drowning while everyone else stood safely on the shore telling me to swim harder.

But here, I found something different.

It didn't cure my depression or erase my desire to CTB. Those feelings are still mine. But there's comfort in knowing other people carry the same heaviness and are still here anyway. There's something healing about being heard without judgment, without being treated like a problem that needs to be fixed immediately. There is comfort in realizing suffering is not isolating in the way I once believed it was.

For the first time in a while, I feel less alone in my suffering. Because I feel, finally, that someone else, somewhere in the world, knows the shape of my suffering, and chooses to sit besides it with me instead of turning it away.