Are you at the "point of no return" with ctb ?

[Daystavro]

I know I am.
ctb is my only option to find peace and stop the mental torture my life has become.
I am 26 male and because of my social anxiety have no financial or social future.
I have ansolutely no intention on living my whole life in poverty being a wage slave and with no gf.
Plus I don't want to keep living in my shitty and depeessing country.

 

[worldexploder]

Of course. Been this way for years. I am just at a loss for methods right now.

 

[MattersOfTheHeart]

Actually, no. I'm still holding out hope for my situation to get better, because I do feel like there's a very real possibility that it can and will. In fact, I have relatively high hopes that it will. It's just, all the hope for the future in the world does very little to console me, because my feelings are based entirely on the present. So basically, I believe things will get better, but I'm still gonna be miserable until/unless they do, and if they don't by mid January, I'm gonna ctb.

 

[Schopenhauer]

Yes. By the end of 2017, in fact. My impending doom comforts me.

 

[Armadillo]

I had hopes, stupid and false hopes to be honest, for far too long.
There's no way I can make things better.
My life is falling apart and it will only get worse with time, I have no choice, I wish I did.

 

[Xerxes]

Never asked you, but what country are you from?

 

[Jen Erik]

I'm not precisely at the point of no return, because that point for me will be the literal act of ctb.

In the meantime, something might happen to change the circumstances that make me want to ctb. So while I am not necessarily hopeful, I am open.

But really, maybe this is just all semantics. My circumstances would have to change radically and that's very unlikely. So ctb is basically foregone conclusion.

 

[Xerxes]

I'm not quite there at the point of no return even though I have all the plans in place. It's just committing to it and finishing the job which is the hardest part. I'm impulsive and self-destructive, which may lead to me botching it up, but if I wait patiently for another day where I can slip silently to carry out those plans then, how come I can do that so perfectly, but can't live a normal life.

 

[Xerxes]

It sucks that I'm a perfectionist at crafting my own death than crafting a life made for me.

 

[RainAndSadness]

Yes, for several reasons. It's very difficult for me to think about anything else. But most importantly, I'm in the possession of Nembutal, which I will never ever give up, in no circumstances. There isn't anything in my life I value more than a peaceful exit, which is granted with N. And it will expire at some point, which means I will use it.

 

[TheGoodGuy]

I know I am.
ctb is my only option to find peace and stop the mental torture my life has become.
I am 26 male and because of my social anxiety have no financial or social future.
I have ansolutely no intention on living my whole life in poverty being a wage slave and with no gf.
Plus I don't want to keep living in my shitty and depeessing country.

Same here I am 24 and have social anxiety so I actually envy people working at Mc Donalds because I could never do that I also have some physical problems that makes me unable to work although the government don´t recognize that. And since I am on welfare the welfare counselors try and pressure me to work anyhow or go finish my time at school so I might ctb soon it could be in a week but most likely won´t be but all this pressure really makes me consider just shooting myself and get it over-with.

I even had a talk earlier today with my mother about working and she is a total sheep, don´t get me wrong I LOVE my mother but she has a sheep like mind like "we have to work even though we don´t want to because that is life" And I just wanted to say "no I don´t I can kill myself" but of course I didn´t because she doesn´t know I am suicidal but I just want to say this every time anyone tells me I have to work. I don´t have to do anything! Life isn´t life if I have to spend 8-10 hours a day 5 days a week working on something I hate just waiting to get home while feeling like shit because of social anxiety and my physical problem and for what? To have 2 days off in the weekend I´d rather fucking kill myself than slaving my life away.

 

[wanttodie]

me to worldexploder, Been this way for years. I am just at a loss for methods right now.

 

[TiredHorse]

I'm not quite there at the point of no return even though I have all the plans in place. It's just committing to it and finishing the job which is the hardest part.

This is me.

I don't see any hope in the future, I have made all the arrangements including pre-paying for my cremation, I have no fewer than seven methods close at hand (including eb/N2 and guns)... but I keep flinching when I try to ctb. I despise myself for not being able to get the job done.

 

[Xerxes]

This is me.

I don't see any hope in the future, I have made all the arrangements including pre-paying for my cremation, I have no fewer than seven methods close at hand (including eb/N2 and guns)... but I keep flinching when I try to ctb. I despise myself for not being able to get the job done.

I think we all come to it eventually. Something is holding us back. I try not to make any more personal connections with anyone so they won't have to worry about if I disappear somewhere. I just want to sleep. The same way when you're talking to the dentist waiting for the sedation to kick in and one second you're gone. I love that feeling.

 

[Trashcan]

Yes. I just don't see any other way.

 

[bigj75]

Same here. Its either die or suffer the rest of my life at this point. No way in hell I'm going to suffer any more.

 

[Kdawg2018]

Im getting anxiety about going to fill my nitrogen tanks, I just want everything to end without the stress

 

[Final Escape]

I know I am.
ctb is my only option to find peace and stop the mental torture my life has become.
I am 26 male and because of my social anxiety have no financial or social future.
I have ansolutely no intention on living my whole life in poverty being a wage slave and with no gf.
Plus I don't want to keep living in my shitty and depeessing country.

Yes and it sucks because people around me have no idea that I'd given up and just waiting to take myself out. They don't understand that I've lost the will to live and not planning any future.

 

[TAW122]

I've gotten close to said point of no return before, but as of now, I'm rather numb and indifferent to things that may happen. My life would need to make an immense change (something that I know isn't likely at all to happen) for me to reconsider life (social life, financial stuff, change of laws and public policy to right to die, euthanasia, etc.) happens. I will just hold out until something pushes me over the edge and then I follow through with ctb'ing.

 

[BurningLights]

To answer simply, yes.
​

I got no choice, I can't afford to live anymore, cant pay bills at the end of the month. I've lost everything and everyone bar some family. And that's not even scratchibg the surface..
It's all been working up to the point of CTB. Now I'm just biding my time and sorting things so it's some what easier for whoever clears my flat out.​

 

[dysfunctional]

Seems to be that way, yes

 

[Euryale]

Not exactly at PoNR but I'm at the point where I have to either accept living the rest of my life with my mental disorders while getting bullied by peers or I ctb and leave my mother heartbroken. Either choices suck but hey that's life.

 

[Help_Me]

I think I could still turn back, yet I know nothing will be changed in my life. I've no future at all.

 

[BurningLights]

Not exactly at PoNR but I'm at the point where I have to either accept living the rest of my life with my mental disorders while getting bullied by peers or I ctb and leave my mother heartbroken. Either choices suck but hey that's life.

Life sucks yo!

 

[StillWaiting]

Can't see the way out of this dark tunnel except choosing to ctb.
Doubt life will ever get better even if it do, that doesn't mean one day I won't suffer again as long as I am living.

 

[Jai]

I know I am.
ctb is my only option to find peace and stop the mental torture my life has become.
I am 26 male and because of my social anxiety have no financial or social future.
I have ansolutely no intention on living my whole life in poverty being a wage slave and with no gf.
Plus I don't want to keep living in my shitty and depeessing country.

Yes unless the universe powers that be pull me off but highly in probable

 

[AveryConure]

When I have my friends becone extremely worried about me wanting to kill myself, I literally don't feel anything for them, good and bad. The only person's reaction to my death I care about is my mother's.

So I honestly think so, yes. It's just a matter of when, and I think it really has to be next year.

 

[Goldie]

I think I am at the point of no return, yes. But as others have said I will not know for certain until the N is in front of me.

 

[project77]

No yet, but Im working towards it. Im still uncompromising. Im not doing stuff I dont want to anymore and dont want to deal with reality. I hope I have to strength to do it when I dont have any money left (which will happen soon) and dont have to starve.

 

[Dani Paradox]

I'm finished.