Are you at peace with death?

[valentine]

sorry I'm advance for any typos, I'm a little tipsy.
I've been suicidal for as long as I can remember. I wish I'd died from my first attempt when I was 15.I'm not sure exactly how to word this. I guess I'm usually just waiting for a "push" to ctb. I know I do want to die, I'm just scared. I'm not at peace with dying at all. I'm terrified. I'm an atheist so I believe there's absolutely nothing after death. I don't know if I'm ready for that. How do you cope with the afterlife? Do you feel comfortable letting go of the life you have and becoming nothing?
I know for many people their lives are so bad that the nothingness is easier than continuing living. I feel that way most of the time. My survival instinct keeps pushing me to believe there's something better to come. I wish I could just let that go and end it.

 

[Sarahlynn]

I am also an atheist, and think there will be nothing after death. Your consciousness is gone, so there will be no pain, no feelings, nothing at all. Dreamless sleep. And that comforts me actually. I am not scared of being dead, but I am terrified of the actual process of dying. The pain, the guilt, the survival instinct kicking in.

I always seem to have that tiny little sliver of hope that something might turn around and things get better. But it gets smaller and smaller as time passes. Not sure of it will ever go completely away. But sometimes I think to myself, there are plenty of situation where I force myself to do stuff I really don't feel like doing, like work, chores, etc. When the time is right I might have to just get myself together, woman up, and give myself the pep-talk. I can, and will, do this. It is for the best. And then just get moving and do so. I have moments of clarity where this is much easier, so I will be ready, and get it done in such a moment

 

[Zorya]

Nothingness or not, in my opinion it's still worth a try to liberate yourself.
Before you were born there was nothingness, while the world was in a bloodshed.
(To be honest I'd miss my comic books so much!)

 

[TimeToBiteTheDust]

Yes. Death is inevitable. We all die. Why not to be at peace with something that sooner or later will happen?

 

[catsarecool]

I'm at peace with death but not with dying.

 

[death137]

Yes I'm at peace with death (whatever happens after death) but dying terrifies me because pain and SI are involved. I will just have to squeeze my teeth and end it.

 

[Sinai Silence]

I look forward to meeting death with open arms, it feels like a long awaited rekindling with nothingness.

 

[Huntfish34]

Not at peace in any way, shape, or form. Scares the Fck out of me.... But I feel it must be done sadly,. Just have to work up the courage and pull that damn trigger.

 

[oneess]

I'm horrified of death, that didn't stop me making my attempts to CTB but I'm totally afraid of the unknown, especially the absolute unknown.

I hope that someday I will be accepting my mortal fate and that dying for whatever reason, is part of a life experience.

 

[NeverEndingWinter]

Personally, I'd prefer to live and the whole idea of death still scares me. Having said that, I know for sure that the only way my suffering can stop IS through death itself.

 

[esse_est_percipi]

I'm not really at peace with death because it is an unknown. And when it comes to unknowns, I always fear the worst.
I wish I'd just never been born.

 

[Deleted-User-0]

As crazy as it sounds death kinda excites me I was blown away when I found out about my mortality as a child. It's an adventure in a way if nothingness (my favourite choice) then it's a win if anything else I'm still ok. If this universe is so evil that it wants to give me non-stop suffering then it can go ahead there is not much I can do. Fear is the byproduct of our evolution to survive in our tiny domain called earth in the universe in grand scheme of things fear means nothing.
I have done a lot in life and I'm kinda bored so in a way it's a win-win to me.

 

[Checkmate3]

I think we can experience "time" only because of our physical bodies. No bodies - no time. No time - no history. No history - no past, present and future, which is amazing and I'm at peace with that.
(The only question, how did we end up in this timely crap-hole in the first place?)

 

[Ghost2211]

I'm at peace with the process of dying and what happens to me after. What I'm not at peace with is my thoughts of what happens to everyone else in my life after.

 

[VIBRITANNIA]

we'll all die one way or another, so i don't see any use in fearing it. if anything, i welcome it. death is apart of life.

 

[Dookieshoes]

Nope. In no way am I ready, at peace, or even remotely prepared to face it. Nope nope nope.

I love my life and the people and experiences in it. I don't want that to fade into the void. That is truly terrifying.

 

[Deleted-User-0]

I'm at peace with the process of dying and what happens to me after. What I'm not at peace with is my thoughts of what happens to everyone else in my life after.

I used to think like that as well but I realised I wasn't concerned with anyone's life including my family before I was born it didn't matter to me if they were happy or sad same thing after our departure.
We think like that because we are physically present here and still have our connections.
Hope it makes sense

 

[DeadButDreaming]

Not fully. My mind has been so filled with religious nonsense that I'm still scraping its goo from the contours of my mind.

 

[Starseedchip]

Logically I am. I realize once I'm dead there will be no more fear or anxiety about it. Being put under anesthesia was a wonderful experience for me. It was like a trial for death and it was great. The only thing I fear is the transition. Survival instinct is strong no matter how rational I am. I'd much prefer that when I'm ready, I die in my sleep or quick and unexpectedly so I have no time to contemplate it. I truly wish I had never been born in the first place so I wouldn't even have to think about this shit but here I am.

 

[iDieUDie80]

Usually, no. Almost every time I think about the act of suicide my heart jumps and starts to race, and I hyperventilate. Sometimes I think that I can do it, and I'm not too afraid about not having consciousness and thoughts anymore, because why would I want to live with crippling intrusive thoughts anyway? I know I need to do it as I have nothing to live for at all. I'm doing it in part to escape my surroundings, so I don't have to painfully sit back and watch everyone else be happy and move forward with their lives, making something of themselves when I never can. Dreamless sleep is the best case scenario.

 

[rt1989526]

I'm not really at peace with death because it is an unknown. And when it comes to unknowns, I always fear the worst.
I wish I'd just never been born.

This.

 

[TheSoundofTime]

sorry I'm advance for any typos, I'm a little tipsy.
I've been suicidal for as long as I can remember. I wish I'd died from my first attempt when I was 15.I'm not sure exactly how to word this. I guess I'm usually just waiting for a "push" to ctb. I know I do want to die, I'm just scared. I'm not at peace with dying at all. I'm terrified. I'm an atheist so I believe there's absolutely nothing after death. I don't know if I'm ready for that. How do you cope with the afterlife? Do you feel comfortable letting go of the life you have and becoming nothing?
I know for many people their lives are so bad that the nothingness is easier than continuing living. I feel that way most of the time. My survival instinct keeps pushing me to believe there's something better to come. I wish I could just let that go and end it.

Im atheist myself and I think I might understand how you feel. I know, there might be something after death but most probably there is nothing. In my opinion, we don't have to think about the matters beyond out understanding- we should think of what there is now - we suffer, we cannot hold any longer - we want to die. What happens after, we don't and would never know so let's keep it away off our concern

 

[ERASED]

I don't believe in God so i don't believe there is an afterlife so i personally don't fear death. I just see it as a long sleep. And hopefully forever for me cause I don't want to come back to this shit hell called earth....or better yet life.

 

[GonnaGoBye]

We all die sooner or later. Death can be accepting and yet sometimes too daring. But in the end its how you die if you come terms of it.

 

[Escape Artist]

Being put under anesthesia was a wonderful experience for me. It was like a trial for death and it was great.

This has been my experience too! Every time I've been under anesthesia I wake up and think about the nothingness and think about how wonderful it would be if I could just go out that way. I've felt so peaceful reflecting on how it wouldn't have mattered one bit if I had died. I wouldn't have been in pain and there is nothing to fear. That nothingness is a wonderful thing.

 

[Deleted-User-0]

Logically I am. I realize once I'm dead there will be no more fear or anxiety about it. Being put under anesthesia was a wonderful experience for me. It was like a trial for death and it was great. The only thing I fear is the transition. Survival instinct is strong no matter how rational I am. I'd much prefer that when I'm ready, I die in my sleep or quick and unexpectedly so I have no time to contemplate it. I truly wish I had never been born in the first place so I wouldn't even have to think about this shit but here I am.

I had a minor surgery in 2018. The unconsciousness experience under anaesthetics was amazingly peaceful beyond words, total nothingness no thoughts, dreams, fear or pain. I had amazing moments in my life but those 2-3 hours were something else.

Not at peace in any way, shape, or form. Scares the Fck out of me.... But I feel it must be done sadly,. Just have to work up the courage and pull that damn trigger.

When you said "pull the trigger" did you mean literally? You are lucky if you have a gun then that makes things so much easier

 

[Ghost2211]

I used to think like that as well but I realised I wasn't concerned with anyone's life including my family before I was born it didn't matter to me if they were happy or sad same thing after our departure.
We think like that because we are physically present here and still have our connections.
Hope it makes sense

Very much so. I think we assume people will never get over our death, but in the end it is human nature to recover from the acute pain of loss.

 

[valentine]

Logically I am. I realize once I'm dead there will be no more fear or anxiety about it. Being put under anesthesia was a wonderful experience for me. It was like a trial for death and it was great. The only thing I fear is the transition. Survival instinct is strong no matter how rational I am. I'd much prefer that when I'm ready, I die in my sleep or quick and unexpectedly so I have no time to contemplate it. I truly wish I had never been born in the first place so I wouldn't even have to think about this shit but here I am.

This is exactly how I feel. Anesthesia was also great for me and it does bring me some comfort that death would be like that. The contemplation and second-guessing are the hardest part, and really why I haven't ctb yet.

 

[esse_est_percipi]

in the end it is human nature to recover

Yes, given enough time the pain subsides for most people, to the point where they stop thinking about it most of the time.
And even if it doesn't, everyone dies in the end so at least the grief never lasts forever.

 

[muffin222]

No. That's why I constantly waver between ending it and toughing it out through recovery