Are you angry that you're cbt?

[Hope:-)]

I've become v angry that this is what I'm having to do to exit a miserable reality and conserve a modicum of dignity. If I get the meds I'm going to ctb in 2 weeks time. I'm feeling v angry about it as it's not something anyone wants to do and I can tell I'm definitely going to do it. I'm scared of the physical pain. Death doesn't scare me so I should count myself lucky for that. I'm just angry about the reasons I am doing this. Anyone relate?

 

[Suicidebydeath]

I feel the same, and having to do it after basically living for everyone else, but the less I think about family the better I feel x

 

[avaruus]

yeah, i hate failing, and giving up on life feels like the ultimate failure

 

[tired868686]

Yeah I understand what you're saying.
I'm not really angry that I have to. It's just for the best for all considered.
I'm a bit pissed that I didn't have nurtured childhood. Maybe things could have been different but no point being angry about what you can't change I suppose.

 

[SexyIncél]

Hell yeah! Life should be fucking decent. Our species had so much time to prepare a livable world.

Even suicide is too miserable! Why can't it be peaceful euthanasia, surrounded by loved ones... or at least empathetic strangers willing to love those who decide life is intolerable?

What shitty timeline do we find ourselves in!?

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

Anger is an emotion that I've never really experienced but maybe extreme disappointment and frustration. But mainly at myself. My entire life has been fraudulent. I was always trying to get away with winning the prize without doing the work. And things finally caught up with me. I wish I had your focus and follow through. Instead I am still trying to cheat my way through life without facing Reality. It's pretty tragic really. People are wondering where I went and what's wrong… But of course I can't tell them that I've given up. I wish everyone and everything would just leave me alone. Every day the sun comes up and I wish it wouldn't.

 

[AliceTheGoon]

I've been through all the stages of grief since my illness began, pretty much in order. So I was angriest toward the beginning.

 

[thebunny]

in regards with ctb-ing, i think i'm more relieved (i'm actually excited to ctb lol) than angry because i'll finally have the peace and happiness i deserve. i've been fueled with anger and hatred for most of my life and i'm exhausted of feeling and being this way. i, along with everyone else who's feeling the same way, deserve to rest as well.

 

[Hope:-)]

in regards with ctb-ing, i think i'm more relieved (i'm actually excited to ctb lol) than angry because i'll finally have the peace and happiness i deserve. i've been fueled with anger and hatred for most of my life and i'm exhausted of feeling and being this way. i, along with everyone else who's feeling the same way, deserve to rest as well.

I think I am going through the stages of grief also.x

 

[rationaltake]

I'm annoyed because life is so unfair. I'm sorry you're in such a difficult situation. It's hard reaching the decision to ctb. And then there's all the effort of procuring the means and making a plan. I wish it hadn't come to this for you.

 

[Trifecta]

Mostly I feel sorrow, both at having come to this point and all the factors that led me here. I look back and think about what I could have done differently - and there's definitely a sense of loss about some things I missed out on - but with my diagnosis I probably would always end up here.

 

[chronicallybroken]

I don't think I'm super angry but there is some bitterness there that life is so awful for me. For a lot of other people too - both the people on this forum and people experiencing poverty, war, famine etc.
I've never really been angry or motivated enough to do anything about it though!

I'm frustrated that I came into this world and was never going to have a good chance because of multiple reasons, most we couldn't have known about (physical deformities etc) but with my parents for deciding to have me (my mum only actually, my dad wanted me aborted). I've had to live with so much and this world makes it so hard to leave. So yeah. Maybe I am a bit angry.

 

[WorthlessTrash]

I am angry that i am in the position where this is my only viable option. I am angry that I cannot have the life and a body I want. This is what is best for me, though.

 

[Shrike94]

I've become v angry that this is what I'm having to do to exit a miserable reality and conserve a modicum of dignity. If I get the meds I'm going to ctb in 2 weeks time. I'm feeling v angry about it as it's not something anyone wants to do and I can tell I'm definitely going to do it. I'm scared of the physical pain. Death doesn't scare me so I should count myself lucky for that. I'm just angry about the reasons I am doing this. Anyone relate?

I am angry, and I have trouble admitting it's over, but it is.

 

[hamvil]

No, I am sometimes angry that I cannot pull myself together to do it. I just feel more tired every day. All this life is really too much for me.

 

[jodes2]

I'm just angry over how hard authorities make a peaceful ctb