I'm confident in my professional skills. I've worked in several teams in the past and, despite my people skills be lacking, my problem solving skills and programming knowledge in general was usually good enough. I learned most of what I know on the job and just in a few months of a part-time internship I had the head of Tech casually ask me on the streets to consider a full-time position. I just had to say yes, but I liked the lesser hours so I kept being called the "senior intern" for a good while.
Until recently I was FWB with two women and they both have way more sexual experience than me. The fact that I am able to be "good in bed" despite that did wonders to my ego.
I'm not confident. But for those who get showered in compliments daily, those who receive plenty of attention, those who have had plenty of success, I'd say confidence is a real thing.
YESSS validation can do a huge thing for the ego. Whether it's validation from friends, validation from work, or sexual validation.
I really don't like the shape of my face, it's kinda weird oval and I don't really have any lookalikes. I'm a weird mix of Italian, Spanish, Native Brazilian and "Generic Brazilian" and I always feel like I don't belong comparing myself to others on the streets.
But when a few of my female friends, more than once, said that I'm hot (gostoso), that helped a lot. They also knew me more than just the surface-level looks so I can imagine my personality is a huge factor, but it made me way more confident in myself.
I was thinking today about unconventional attractiveness. People can be attractive just for having a particular demeanor, or tone of voice, or level of intelligence or attitude or whatever. Society fixates so much on generic stuff like looks and social status, but that's really not an accurate or complete picture at all.
YES. The whole "sapiosexual" bit may be overdone and be sooo 2000s/2010s but I always valued intelligence a lot since I was a kid.
I had a crush back in first grade to a girl name Leaf, she was so cute, but then I saw her math homework was kindergarden addition like 4 + 3 while I was doing multiplication already and I lost a lot of attraction to her.
Or this one time in college that I was doing a class with a girl and we ended up discussing how she could make her processor architecture. She invited me to her presentation on how her processor would work and DAMN. She dressed up business-casual like, being so assertive in her presentation, and all I could think is that the could be like a CEO and I would be lucky to be associated with her. Super, super hot.
She also loved sarcasm and puns but we didn't have much chemistry other than that so it didn't work out.
Looks are also super random too. The 90s had super skinny supermodels that were "heroin chic" and I never understood the appeal. Come recent years with body positivity on the rise and people value thiccness now, and that is seemingly on the decline? It makes no sense. The kind of bodies that appeal to me don't change with trends, but the perspective on what "is generally perceived attractive" does. Go figure.
And honestly? Guys are horndogs and all that but after a really not fun experience with a woman recently, yeah, looks only go so far (women going duh while reading this). Personality and compatibility are way much more important. It's just that looks get the first foot in the door easier.
Being attractive breeds confidence, not the other way around.
Confidence
is attractive. Looks only go so far, people also judge you by how you act. People can warm up to your character if you're attractive on the inside even if you're not so attractive on the outside.
Have you met anyone who knew that you weren't in the best state of mind but they thought you were so attractive that they had the mindset or idea that they "can fix you" / "I can fix him/her"?
Not exactly, but part of my first relationship started because both of us weren't doing amazing (neither of us knew it was depression) and we helped each other both get better. It wasn't necessarily a "fix them" situation, but there was a bit of trauma bonding, so to speak. But there were other factors in our relationship too beyond our difficulties.
not to that point to ans ur question. I had that type of interaction once but never again. Like I said, although I'm fairly attractive physically, I judge my true attractiveness based on my character. As men predominantly do. Women's primary metric of attractiveness is their physical beauty. But as far as ik I can only exude so much charisma to cold approach. Make friends etc. especially with the dead look in my eyes
