Help Are you able to share good things about your life?

[macaroni]

Going through a really tough patch at the moment. Didn't get the job I was desperate for. After over two years of job hunting, I think it was kind of a straw breaking the camel's back kind of moment. My current job was getting more and more toxic until I completely broke. I quit, because I knew if I didn't, HR would find a reason to fire me. At this point I was so broken I wasn't able to do half the tasks my role required, so all HR would have to say is I couldn't complete my contract.

Now everyone in my life is lecturing me for quitting my job without another one lined up. As if I didn't consider that. As if this wasn't a last option. By the end of it, I was curled up on the bathroom floors at work because I was in so much stomach pain from stress. I was vomiting. I swung rapidly between binge eating and heavy restricting. I cried all the time. I was having nightmares constantly. I was having panic attacks at work. I became deeply afraid of people, even my own family.

Despite getting out of that toxic environment, being unemployed and knowing you're now on a timer until your money runs out isn't exactly stress-free either. I'm still scared of people, I'm still getting stomach pains. I'm finding it harder and harder to keep up with basic hygiene like showering and brushing my teeth again. I wear the same clothes every day. The slightest raised voice sends my heart rate skyrocketing still.

I'm tired. I'm so fucking tired. But I still want to live. Even though with everything going on, life doesn't seem worth anything. If I try to discuss this with anyone else, they shut down and just give empty insistances that life means something and everything will magically work out. I know that's not true.

So from one person desperate to live to the rest of you guys, are you able to just share good, uplifting things about life? Anything? Just tell me about a job you got which you love or a promotion or a new relationship or something cute your pet did or fuck it even if its just that the coffee you made yourself this morning was the perfect sweetness.

Please just anything. I'm desperate. Everything just looks so bleak from where I am

 

[U. A.]

I like a challenge...

• It hasn't been painful to walk lately so I'm doing that as much as my shit mood allows, cause soon enough it'll be too cold I won't want to go out ever
• Lots of late summer flowers out. Bees (honey and bumble) busy stocking up, they let me get close.
• Sunset is still late enough it's not the worst degree of human zoo out at that time so while I'm missing sunrise, I'm seeing that. Clouds have been rad lately.

 

[Lions303]

I feel you and can empathize. Im sorry things arnt working out for you right now and by the sounds of it for a while actually. I appreciate that you've been able to share your story and am proud that you've been able to make a plea for help <3 I do believe that it doesn't matter how good or bad your job is, life is just fucking overwhelming. But if your professional life is crushing your soul, then your life becomes more difficult and unmanageable. Then we have our own personal lives too, relationships, friends, family, health (both physical and mental) to deal with too. For me trying to wake up tomorrow and be grateful for big small things like having a roof over my head, clothes on my back and food on my plate does make it manageable to make it to tomorrow

 

[•_still_here_•]

Going through a really tough patch at the moment. Didn't get the job I was desperate for. After over two years of job hunting, I think it was kind of a straw breaking the camel's back kind of moment. My current job was getting more and more toxic until I completely broke. I quit, because I knew if I didn't, HR would find a reason to fire me. At this point I was so broken I wasn't able to do half the tasks my role required, so all HR would have to say is I couldn't complete my contract.

Now everyone in my life is lecturing me for quitting my job without another one lined up. As if I didn't consider that. As if this wasn't a last option. By the end of it, I was curled up on the bathroom floors at work because I was in so much stomach pain from stress. I was vomiting. I swung rapidly between binge eating and heavy restricting. I cried all the time. I was having nightmares constantly. I was having panic attacks at work. I became deeply afraid of people, even my own family.

Despite getting out of that toxic environment, being unemployed and knowing you're now on a timer until your money runs out isn't exactly stress-free either. I'm still scared of people, I'm still getting stomach pains. I'm finding it harder and harder to keep up with basic hygiene like showering and brushing my teeth again. I wear the same clothes every day. The slightest raised voice sends my heart rate skyrocketing still.

I'm tired. I'm so fucking tired. But I still want to live. Even though with everything going on, life doesn't seem worth anything. If I try to discuss this with anyone else, they shut down and just give empty insistances that life means something and everything will magically work out. I know that's not true.

So from one person desperate to live to the rest of you guys, are you able to just share good, uplifting things about life? Anything? Just tell me about a job you got which you love or a promotion or a new relationship or something cute your pet did or fuck it even if its just that the coffee you made yourself this morning was the perfect sweetness.

Please just anything. I'm desperate. Everything just looks so bleak from where I am

A little kid smiled at me on my way to my exam hall a few days ago.
I found a song I really liked.
I spoke to my friends after a long time.
My cat willingly cuddled with me.
I got a pen I really liked.
All the exams for the subjects I hate are now over and I only have exams for subjects I like now!
I drew something after a long time.
I slept for 14hrs straight after barely getting any sleep, so that was nice.
I had all of these nice things happen to me in the past few weeks! I hope this and the upcoming weeks for you get at least a little better and that you can also find small things to smile about!⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡₊˚⊹♡

 

[popping_candy]

I am lucky enough to have a partner that I love and who loves me and I will never take that for granted. We started dating as teens and we are content with each other. When I mess up he doesn't get mad and even thinks it's cute. It may seem impossible to find but it does exist.

I was waking up in the middle of the night a lot but it's happening less now. I also got some advice from an elderly relative to not worry about waking up or getting a bad night's sleep and just lie there and it makes it easier to fall back asleep this way since it doesn't feel like a failure anymore.

I recently hung out with one of my advisors from college who takes really good care of her foster kids and is in her 40's, very responsible, etc. and she wore the same clothes two days in a row when I saw her. She even joked about it and said it happens, especially when traveling. I understood cause sometimes other stuff is more important and it helped me feel better when I fell asleep in my clothes sometimes. Don't feel bad about rewearing clothes, especially if they're still clean and not smelly.

Showering can really suck sometimes. Dry shampoo and soaping pits at the sink can go a long way when it feels like it's too much.

Sometimes when I don't feel like brushing my teeth I will do it without toothpaste and that feels less overwhelming somehow. You're still mechanically removing plaque even if you're not applying fluoride at the same time. I also keep floss picks next to my bed and in the bathroom so I'm more likely to do at least one or the other.

I found a place near me that sells European cookies and they are so good. I would recommend looking up local bus routes and seeing whether there are any stores on those routes that you haven't visited before, and maybe you'll find something new like that too. When I'm feeling like I'm stuck in bed and not walking much it helps to have a location to focus on getting to.

If you need practice talking to people to feel less scared, try a warm line. They are really good for practicing social interaction and I've only ever gotten nice people. They don't care if you're awkward or want to pause the conversation for a bit. There's a directory of them here: https://www.warmline.org/

I hope one of these pieces of advice helps. Nothing can take away the economic reality of your situation but I will say it was not a bad decision to leave a place that was affecting your health. Yes, the general advice is to have another offer in hand before leaving, but that's not always realistic. You'll have an easier time finding something if you're not in fight or flight mode every day and that's something that people giving advice don't necessarily see. It wasn't a bad choice so don't beat yourself up for it.

 

[KlixxFoxe]

I also have a job that I don't really like. The only good things in my life are my parents. They are the only people who care about me

 

[EmptyBottle]

For me, I have:

• a moderate amount of spare time due to part time study (when it becomes full time, it will decrease, but I'm using my past to my advantage and not doing 4 units of study... just 2... since I had to redo subjects after doing 4 at once)
• I seem to have a chat with a few regulars, which is kinda nice. Also friends here, on discord, and a community group to go to on Saturday Evenings.
• I have 2 Linux systems and a windows system to experiment with / use... and I get to have cool discussions on forums like here and TFES.
• There is a nice cat in the house
• I am somehow able to (for now) see, hear, type, think. Hoping all 4 works at a reasonable level for decades to come... yes, presbyopia and reduction in hearing / dexterity may occur with age, but it hopefully won't be too significant, eg where I can't use the forum or do voice chats. (if it takes a little extra zoom / higher volume, that's ok.)
• I (somehow) am in reasonable health, maybe could exercise more, etc.

Doesn't mean everything is sunshine and roses, tho I genuinely hope people are able to (as they wish) experience at least some of the list.

 

[calebzz1]

Going through a really tough patch at the moment. Didn't get the job I was desperate for. After over two years of job hunting, I think it was kind of a straw breaking the camel's back kind of moment. My current job was getting more and more toxic until I completely broke. I quit, because I knew if I didn't, HR would find a reason to fire me. At this point I was so broken I wasn't able to do half the tasks my role required, so all HR would have to say is I couldn't complete my contract.

Now everyone in my life is lecturing me for quitting my job without another one lined up. As if I didn't consider that. As if this wasn't a last option. By the end of it, I was curled up on the bathroom floors at work because I was in so much stomach pain from stress. I was vomiting. I swung rapidly between binge eating and heavy restricting. I cried all the time. I was having nightmares constantly. I was having panic attacks at work. I became deeply afraid of people, even my own family.

Despite getting out of that toxic environment, being unemployed and knowing you're now on a timer until your money runs out isn't exactly stress-free either. I'm still scared of people, I'm still getting stomach pains. I'm finding it harder and harder to keep up with basic hygiene like showering and brushing my teeth again. I wear the same clothes every day. The slightest raised voice sends my heart rate skyrocketing still.

I'm tired. I'm so fucking tired. But I still want to live. Even though with everything going on, life doesn't seem worth anything. If I try to discuss this with anyone else, they shut down and just give empty insistances that life means something and everything will magically work out. I know that's not true.

So from one person desperate to live to the rest of you guys, are you able to just share good, uplifting things about life? Anything? Just tell me about a job you got which you love or a promotion or a new relationship or something cute your pet did or fuck it even if its just that the coffee you made yourself this morning was the perfect sweetness.

Please just anything. I'm desperate. Everything just looks so bleak from where I am

I'm sorry to hear of your situation, my case for disability case is going well and I know I'll get it eventually despite not having an immediate cure for the medical problem I face daily.

I have to wait until January (SSI) and February (SSDI) for both of the next steps.

 

[cowplantabduction]

Sometimes my hamster likes to climb up my arm- then he'll climb back down, then climb back up again. Like I'm his jungle gym. It's pretty cute.

 

[calebzz1]

I'm sorry to hear of your situation, my case for disability case is going well and I know I'll get it eventually despite not having an immediate cure for the medical problem I face daily.

I have to wait until January (SSI) and February (SSDI) for both of the next steps.

* my case for disability is going well

I had to fix my mistake, it's harder to type now.

 

[London2005]

one of the best things in my life is knowing that I have people who genuinely care about me and they would be devastated if anything bad ever happened to me, I am lucky in that sense for sure compared to other people