Are you a victim of "body shaming"? (especially is you're disabled) How do you overcome it? Have you considered CTB, or tried to avoid CTB?

[disabledlife]

Are you a victim of "body shaming"? (especially is you're disabled, ugly, being short, etc) How do you overcome it? Have you considered CTB, or tried to avoid CTB?

 

[Shar]

It's one of the main reasons I've always been treated like shit. Appearance is much more important than some people think. Society always expects much more from those who do not meet the beauty standard.

 

[psp3000]

not sure if this counts but I guess I was body shamed throughout puberty since it's encouraged to cover up during such a time although all of those things are out of your control

I have been called many names during this time relating to promiscuity during such a time in my life just for looking the way that I did and developing quickly (bullying and sexual harassment as well)

one memorable one that still sticks to me/my mind today would have to be "prostitute"

as I've gotten older along with more development stuff either because of weight or medication or age people are very bold with staring at you no matter how you dress and when people flirt or hit on you
even if it's clear you're uncomfortable all my mind can go to is that they did it just because of my chest instead of just being creepy without any other motives or factors as to why

I dress very conservatively I guess you could say

but those three things encouraged me to cover up more (I only wear baggy clothes now but sometimes that doesn't stop people as another bad event with staring happened at a grocery store a few months ago) and the thought of getting a breast reduction although I don't really have any intense back issues

(I don't even feel comfortable not wearing a bra at home because if I were to look in my reflection all I can think about are probably the weird stares and comments I've received in the past so when so have to take a shower I avoid the mirror as well)

but the issue is that I don't want to be seen as less of a woman or not a woman at all if I do decide to get a reduction in the future
as women with flat chests are also gawked at an made fun of

so I've decided not to

there's really no winning and I haven't learned to overcome it so I think death is the answer for that one reason out of the list of reasons why I would like to end it

 

[EvisceratedJester]

I don't think I have much experience with body-shaming outside of my stepmother yelling at me that my breasts were saggier than hers in grade 8. She also said this in the hallway of our building, where anyone stepping out of their apartment could overhear and she tried to grab my breasts (this wasn't the first time she's grabbed my breasts before either). There was also that time where she pointed out that I gained some weight back when I was in elementary school so I started eating less in order to lose it.

She really loved commenting on other women's bodies, including young girls.

 

[Ash]

As a child and a teenager, constantly. Then nothing for years. But last year I felt like I went back four decades to school when someone started a long campaign of harassment against me, including nasty comments about my weight and appearance. Fun times.

 

[LunarLight]

Haha, I almost never leave my apartment, have no friends, so I don't experience a lot of body shaming.
I experience indirect body shaming online though. I'm trans and whenever I visit social networks, my TL is full of transphobia. I never post photos of me because I would definitely experience body shaming. I'm fat and ugly.
Maybe the worst body shaming I experience is the one I inflict to myself. I hate my body soooo much.

 

[surroundedbydemons]

I learned that disengaging is a good tactic when facing body shaming.
It's unfortunate, but there will always be individuals who try to bring you down, regardless of whether you're in the right or not, whatever you are doing, whatever you look, whatever you are not doing...

In terms of the strategy, I believe focusing on the right people and building a good community who do not body shame works in the long run.

~~~

Have you considered CTB, or tried to avoid CTB?

I would not have considered CTBing because of it; I am doing it for a different reason.

Did you mean to type CBT?
If you did, I also did not consider it either. I consider "body shaming" to be the problem not with my mindset but rather the issue in the head of another person - they need therapy (though it's unlikely they would seek it...)

 

[crescentmoonisland]

I used to be, back when I was around 8, and it lasted until I reached high school, so, when I was around 15-16. During my childhood, my mother and I moved away from my family because the apartment was too small for five people. However, since we were poor, we had to move far away in a shit-hole because the rent was cheap. Immediately, at my new school, I was ostracized by the other kids. I was considered ugly, and because we were poor, my clothes were shitty. And since I had moved out in the middle of the year, I didn't get to know them from the beginning and nobody wanted to get to know me, either. I'd always stay alone. It just hit me so hard, to feel like something is wrong with me because nobody would approach me. I'd ask myself, why would they dodge me like I had the plague? Until I heard someone calling me ugly behind my back - that's when I understood. Everybody sent me weird looks. Because of my loneliness, I stayed in my room and ate, ate, ate - food was the only thing that made me feel better, even though I felt awful afterwards. Soon enough, I became overweight. My mother was dealing with depression at the time, so she didn't really do something about it, and I don't blame her.

It just became so worst after that. Kids would still ignore me - but even though kids would not approach me, I still heard about what they'd said about me. Boys would joke that I looked pregnant, or would say things like "You'll have to kiss her" (talking about me) and they'd say "That pig? No way!" and either make disgusted faces or laugh. They would also laugh at me when we had P.E. because I had trouble due to my weight. I'd pretend I did not hear, but it killed me inside; and I'd go home and eat to feel better, making it worse. During middle school, I had developed somewhat of an awful attitude due to my depression, so I used snap at everyone that tried to bully me - but again, they always mentioned my body. It just became impossible to ignore the fact that I was overweight.

Here is a funny situation that happened when I was 9: it was picture day and my mother had done my hair, it was kinda cute. Lunch time arrives - my school actually had this weird rule where the lunch ladies would tell us where to sit rather than allowing us to be with friends, so I ended up at a table with a guy that I did not really know, I just knew his name. He took a good look at me and said, with an honest smile, "You look really good today," and judging by his tone, it was truthful. I smiled at him and thanked him, but then he continued by saying, "Yeah, you know, back when you moved in, we all told each other, "The new kid's ugly and fat," but right now, you look cute." and he genuinely thought he was being nice here. I lost my smile so quick, but I still thanked him again. Looking back at it, it was rather funny, but definitely not something a nine year old kid should hear.

Currently, I am not being body-shamed anymore. Thankfully, we adults are more mature about it lol, and to be honest I'm not the fattest in my class anymore. But I've been body-shamed half of my life and it's one of the two reasons as to why my self-confidence is so, so low. Bullying really can have devastating effects all the way to adulthood - no matter how many years pass, I'm still struggling with it because I grew up being aware of the fact that everybody thought I was hideous and fat. No matter how much I physically change, it's still a part of me that prevents me from truly appreciating myself.

To answer your other question, no, I did not consider CTBing because of it, and I wouldn't do it for that, either, because I have other reasons as to why I want to CTB. I'm not self-conscious about my body anymore - even though it's rather frustrating that some outfits don't look good on me - but being body-shamed definitely did impact me and my whole life. To be honest, I can't tell you how I overcame it because I don't really know myself, I guess I got other issues to worry about, like my studies and my depression which took over me. I didn't truly overcome it, but it has gotten easier to accept once people stop reminding you of how awful you are. If you have a good entourage, it should be a bit easier to overcome it.

I hope that one day, you will all be able to overcome it. Life is just so much more than appearance, you know? Even though society treats us like shit. It's something much easier said than done, because even though most days I'm okay with my body, there are some days when I just want to starve to death because of my weight - but sometimes you have to remember that there's more to life than that.

I'm sorry if that was too long to read. Body-shaming was something omnipresent in my life and rather traumatic, so I had a lot to say. If you don't feel like reading allat, you should probably skip to the 4th paragraph. Take care!

 

[Malaria]

Yes. I've had hurtful things said about me because of the way my body is shaped. I've also been made fun of for being overweight, and because of the way my eyebrows look