Venting Are you a horrible person?

[ultrasharpy123456]

I am. I've done many many things I've done which I won't name which were very evil to people. And I never even laid a hand on the people I hurt to do it. It's one of the reasons I'm trying to kill myself.

 

[josephk]

would you do the same again? If not, then it means youve realised what youve done & youve changed so maybe all isnt lost. Whether you can live with yourself is something only you can try or know.

 

[TDF]

I am. I've done many many things I've done which I won't name which were very evil to people. And I never even laid a hand on the people I hurt to do it. It's one of the reasons I'm trying to kill myself.

I am. I've done many many things I've done which I won't name which were very evil to people. And I never even laid a hand on the people I hurt to do it. It's one of the reasons I'm trying to kill myself

I'm sorry you feel that you've done such evil things. Are you regretful? why did you do them?

I don't think I'm a horrible person, far from it really, I think I always try to help it's almost compulsive, but my abuser tells me I've done horrible things and that's why they are abusing me, because I deserve it. Logically I know it's not true but it does make me feel worthless and hopeless that I should probably "just die because that's what I deserve".

 

[FuneralCry]

No, existence is the horrible thing instead as it's the ultimate cause of all suffering. I'm just paying the price because other people so cruelly decided to procreate, I was never meant to exist here and I only deserve the true peace that non-existence can bring.

 

[ChronicPain23]

I after alcohol or drugs hurt people, I am ashamed, regretful, but what of it as in the memory sits still.

 

[lostintheloop]

As others have suggested, would a horrible person show regret ? I think in real life it's rarely so black and white, people aren't simply horrible/kind or bad/good. I think everyone has the capacity to be both good and evil. It's not like movies where there's 'goodies' and 'baddies'. People are much more complex. Even if you feel horrible and have done horrible things, I find it hard to believe that it's all that you are.

I do feel like a horrible person at times despite that though. Not intentionally but I'm a burden on others, I'm not a good friend or daughter and only cause stress and pain to others.

 

[ultrasharpy123456]

I'm sorry you feel that you've done such evil things. Are you regretful? why did you do them?

I don't think I'm a horrible person, far from it really, I think I always try to help it's almost compulsive, but my abuser tells me I've done horrible things and that's why they are abusing me, because I deserve it. Logically I know it's not true but it does make me feel worthless and hopeless that I should probably "just die because that's what I deserve".

That's the thing, I'm not sure why I did. I think part of it was fear. And then ruminating on those things I did and the trauma I went through merged into a terrible combo Also I'm sorry that happens to you. It isn't true at all, I don't think you deserve to die. Dying should be a choice not something you deserve you know?

 

[TDF]

That's the thing, I'm not sure why I did. I think part of it was fear. And then ruminating on those things I did and the trauma I went through merged into a terrible combo Also I'm sorry that happens to you. It isn't true at all, I don't think you deserve to die. Dying should be a choice not something you deserve you know?

I don't know much, but I think if you are coming onto a public forum willing to discuss yourself as a horrible person, and the empathy you just showed me and others, I doubt you are a horrible person, you may have done some things that don't sit well with you in hindsight that may have hurt some people, but it sounded like you did them out of fear and not out of malice. I don't know much but I think intention is important, anyone can do things when they fear that their worst fear is about to be realised, it's very human. Even in law intention/mens rea is very important. Does the person forgive you or understand? It sounds like you are having difficulty forgiving yourself.

Thank you. That's very kind of you to say. I also just feel like I can't climb out of the impacts of the abuse, my whole world view has changed, I can't trust myself or others anymore. And I'm just so tired of fighting. If I do ctb it would be because I feel there's no other path for me.

 

[MrDarkness]

Well I haven't killed anyone, so not that horrible, but I've spouted so much poison in my life, I'm definitely not a saint. I feel bad every day, constantly reliving all the memories I've spit poison

 

[Shaylla1998]

I am often labeled as cruel, stoic, and even evil simply because I choose to view and approach things from a realistic perspective. While many people experience sadness when someone passes away in an unfortunate event, I tend to see it as a natural and inevitable part of the cycle of life and death.

Regarding the concepts of good and evil, I find little interest in categorizing myself within those constructs. These terms are human inventions, and I prefer to align myself with a realistic viewpoint rather than be defined by societal judgments of morality.

 

[PyramidHead]

Not evil, just not that caring I guess. Selfish without even trying or realizing it. I guess killing myself would prove that even more, because my family would be devastated and broken beyond repair, but I wouldn't be there anymore so I won't be able to see it I guess..

 

[Sichi]

Probably not. I haven't done anything considered evil. But I guess a lot of people, especially my family, are put off with my indifferent and my inability to connect and even love them. I'm done with being hurt. I'm just too detached and numb now that dying or existing doesn't matter.

 

[EndJstifiesTheMeans]

Never hurted anyone, but people still judge me as a horrible person

Thats my main reason, i cant live hated by the person i love

 

[StolenLife]

Kind of. I don't think I've ever truly loved anyone, romantically or otherwise. I can't bond with people due to trust issues and trauma. I've hurt a lot of people in the past,and drove someone away due to being jealous. Yet I can't be too harsh on myself as I recognize that I'm a product of my environment.

 

[Lulzacruel]

horrible people dont think about whether or not they are horrible

 

[skylarwhiteyo104781]

I am.

who isnt? the whole idea that there a good people and bad people is complete bs. there's just people and actions.

 

[sometimes.sometimes]

To me, yeah, but being a bad person is also subjective. Someone can donate an entire box of donuts to the homeless shelter and there will be some people who say that you're a horrible person because you didn't donate the donuts to the children's hospital instead.

I think I am a bad person, but there are others who think I am a good person just like how there are some who agree I am a bad person, if that makes sense.

 

[LostinCyberspace]

I've done horrible things before, but also some good things that helped people. I don't think I'm a very good or a very bad person.

 

[jemetire]

Yes apparently