Discussion Are there people you would choose not to engage with on this site?

[StevieNixs]

Or choose to ignore? Do not give specific names of course !!!

I've been on this site since July and was scrolling through the threads of some people only to see them filled with, for example, rhetoric against all manner of people from migrants to Jewish people to other groups. As these are not the sort of people I would engage with in real life, I simply ignore them now.
I know that people bring their prejudices with them (even if they are suicidal, in recovery etc... ) wherever they find themselves - e.g work, forums, sports events, etc. it is just that for some silly reason, I thought that for participants on this website, these focal points would be less relevant to them given that this particular website is related to CTB or recovery from CTB and not hatred for other people for characteristics they have no control over.
.... I dislike many people but not because of their race, ethnicity, religion, gender, sexual orientation... No - I'm not an angel and I'm not saying I am one but I just do not dislike people for these aforementioned reasons.

I dunno.... sometimes it just feels that because a person might be feeling bad, this is accepted as being part and parcel of a person's suicidality, despite the fact that their ideology might in turn be impacting other people on this forum. Do not get me wrong - it is not a majority of people doing or saying this sort of thing, but it is enough for me to take note and then want to step back.

Are there any general reasons you choose to ignore users' posts?

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

Are there any general reasons you choose to ignore users' posts?

No, I enjoy dealing with my emotions if I get triggered. It's not often that it happens but during the few times users have been able to stab at my weak spots (directly or indirectly), I've been able to handle it (more or less).

 

[Midgardsorm]

No, I enjoy dealing with my emotions if I get triggered. It's not often that it happens but during the few times users have been able to stab at my weak spots (directly or indirectly), I've been able to handle it (more or less).

If I have ever did that, I apologize deeply. (Though I doubt that I did, I'm an insect next to you.)

 

[A_miStake_of_NATURE]

There was one person who was very rude to me. I've been called names. I don't think I deserved that. So yeah.

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

If I have ever did that, I apologize deeply. (Though I doubt that I did, I'm an insect next to you.)

Haha, wtf? Have you read any of my posts?

 

[StevieNixs]

I have never been called names but I have read snide references to nearly every other non white people, or, people of differing ethnicities. It just reminded me of an article I read on the Medium website some time ago where this woman was saying she was suicidal because of the racism she encountered throughout her life. I guess people do not realise or care about this when they feel it is their libertarian right to express their distaste.

 

[ClownMe]

SS is far less toxic than any other forum ive ever been on, the majority of people here are great people. I haven't had any major conflicts with anyone on here, in saying that though, there was one user a few months back (who has since disabled their account) that I couldn't stand due to the rubbish they posted and the fact that I didn't think they were remotely suicidal or depressed.

 

[BeautifulMosaics]

SS is far less toxic than any other forum ive ever been on, the majority of people here are great people. I haven't had any major conflicts with anyone on here, in saying that though, there was one user a few months back (who has since disabled their account) that I couldn't stand due to the rubbish they posted and the fact that I didn't think they were remotely suicidal or depressed.

Yes, I was just thinking yesterday "This is the least toxic forum I've ever been on. Isn't that ironic and seemingly counterintuitive?" Lol.

I haven't seen any bigoted posts, apart from that thread that brought out the women-haters, but that I haven't been on here long.

I block people if they say blatantly ignorant, insensitive things or come across as a pervert.

 

[Kieth]

Nah not really tbh

 

[StevieNixs]

Yes, I was just thinking yesterday "This is the least toxic forum I've ever been on. Isn't that ironic and seemingly counterintuitive?" Lol.

I haven't seen any bigoted posts, apart from that thread that brought out the women-haters, but that I haven't been on here long.

I block people if they say blatantly ignorant, insensitive things or come across as a pervert.

I have seen and screenshot or saved can't remember which (as I thought I was imagining it!!) remarks on Jewish people, migrants and other groups. The remarks still remain so I gathered this was deemed unproblematic by virtue of the fact that the people posting it were suicidal. Anyway my response to this is to now ignore the people who say this but I did find it off putting. But, in truth it's not like the social media platforms. I left all of them due to the putrifting vitriol I would read on a daily basis. Many of those platforms are heaving cesspits tbh.

 

[Amumu]

I ignore people who post rude stuff. The form is more important than the content for me.

 

[Celerity]

It happens. There are 1-2 users I have blocked for saying inappropriate or rude things to me. You realize after a certain time in a back-and-forth that either one or both of you is not open to having a genuine conversation. Hitting the ignore button is the best response in those cases. Sometimes the best reply is no reply at all.

 

[logan]

I have seen very few arguments here - far fewer than on many other platforms.

The main problem here is, of course, the pros and cons of CTB.

But that's what a forum is for - everyone should be allowed to express their opinion as long as no one is insulted or belittled.

 

[SleepDealer]

I haven't seen the infamous woman-hater thread but I've seen some misogyny here and there. It doesn't bother me, so I can't think of anyone I care to avoid. This community is pretty damn peaceful.

Besides, in a place like this we're all waiting for the same bus. Even if I find someone who bothers me, the quote "weird hill to die on, but at least you're dead" sums up my thoughts.

 

[LADY007]

Or choose to ignore? Do not give specific names of course !!!

I've been on this site since July and was scrolling through the threads of some people only to see them filled with, for example, rhetoric against all manner of people from migrants to Jewish people to other groups. As these are not the sort of people I would engage with in real life, I simply ignore them now.
I know that people bring their prejudices with them (even if they are suicidal, in recovery etc... ) wherever they find themselves - e.g work, forums, sports events, etc. it is just that for some silly reason, I thought that for participants on this website, these focal points would be less relevant to them given that this particular website is related to CTB or recovery from CTB and not hatred for other people for characteristics they have no control over.
.... I dislike many people but not because of their race, ethnicity, religion, gender, sexual orientation... No - I'm not an angel and I'm not saying I am one but I just do not dislike people for these aforementioned reasons.

I dunno.... sometimes it just feels that because a person might be feeling bad, this is accepted as being part and parcel of a person's suicidality, despite the fact that their ideology might in turn be impacting other people on this forum. Do not get me wrong - it is not a majority of people doing or saying this sort of thing, but it is enough for me to take note and then want to step back.

Are there any general reasons you choose to ignore users' posts?

I feel no one needs to accept bullying.. but, in addition, I remind myself how much stress, sadness, desperation.. etc people feel or they wouldn't be on this site.

 

[FuneralCry]

In my time on this forum, I have seen very little conflict. Of course we are all suffering so occasionally people may get annoyed. People on here are generally understanding and respectful. This is the one place where we can talk about these topics without stigma and judgement and I am glad such a place exists. However if I came across any arguments then I would stay far away from it. I have encountered enough toxic people in real life, so I know better than to get involved. In this life some people are not worth interacting with.

 

[littlelungs]

I've been on this forum since 2018 and honestly, I've seen more conflict and bigotry in the comments section under an innocent YouTube video than I've ever seen here. I've witnessed the occasional controversy over a couple of things (which were dealt with accordingly by the mods), as well as a few public riffs between members, but (based on the ones I've seen) they've almost always been sorted out and ended in apologies. It's not always easy to figure out what someone else is trying to convey through their posts and we're all here because we're suffering in our own ways, so a lot of us are naturally (and understandably) on edge, but again, we're all adults and most of us are reasonably self-aware, so if there are any riffs, they usually seem to get sorted out and everyone moves on.

I generally steer clear of "men vs women" threads or threads that generalize an entire group of people, because it's nothing I've never seen or heard before, and I have no desire in watching people fight with each other about who has it worse. There's obviously nothing wrong with discussion, varying opinions and expressing oneself (that's the whole point of this forum, and I'm all about it), but I've noticed that it's unfortunately quite easy for these kinds of threads to take a sharp turn into some sort of gender war, and I just personally want nothing to do with that. I've also seen the odd person in my time here who makes insensitive posts and invalidates the suffering of others, or is just unnecessarily rude or confrontational. I don't engage with bigots, trolls, general pot-stirrers or people who are unnecessarily hostile towards others, nor do I get involved in any riffs between other members, if there are any – I don't have the energy and it's not worth it. I've gotta pick my battles carefully, and that just isn't one of them.

Just like with any other community, whether it's online or in real life, SS isn't immune to the occasional "bad apple", so if I suspect that someone is bullying or harassing other members or trying to scam people, then I'll report them so that the mods can deal with it, but I've personally never had any problems here (quite the opposite, in fact) and I don't think I've ever actually blocked a member, just because I still want to be "reachable" if anyone wants or needs to chat, or be able to throw someone a react just to let them know that I see them. EVEN IF someone's acting like a total ass, though, I still recognize that they're hurting, too, and there's a large part of me that actually feels bad for them. I'm not saying that it excuses being an asshole, but it might explain it, at the very least. (Just a disclaimer, I'm not referring to anyone or anything in particular.)

At the end of the day, we're all here because we're hurting immensely and just want to be seen and be part of a community where we can connect to others and talk about things that we can't normally talk about in everyday life, as well as have the resources to a peaceful and dignified end to our lives if that's what we choose to do. I'm incredibly grateful for SS for a wide variety of reasons, and even if it sounds corny or "fake", I genuinely care about the people on here and it hurts my heart that there are so many truly good people who have been completely fucked by life.

 

[StevieNixs]

I've been on this forum since 2018 and honestly, I've seen more conflict in the comments section under an innocent YouTube video than I've ever seen here. I've witnessed the occasional controversy over a couple of things (which were dealt with accordingly by the mods), as well as quite a few public riffs between members, but (based on the ones I've seen) they've almost always been sorted out and ended in apologies. It's not always easy to figure out what someone else is trying to convey through their posts and we're all here because we're suffering in our own ways, so a lot of us are naturally (and understandably) on edge, but again, we're all adults and most of us are reasonably self-aware, so if there are any riffs, they usually seem to get sorted out and everyone moves on.

I generally steer clear of "men vs women" threads or threads that generalize an entire gender, because it's nothing I've never seen or heard before, and I have no desire in watching people fight with each other about who has it worse. There's obviously nothing wrong with discussion, varying opinions and expressing oneself (that's the whole point of this forum, and I'm all about it), but I've noticed that it's unfortunately quite easy for these kinds of threads to take a sharp turn into some sort of gender war, and I just personally want nothing to do with that. I've also seen the odd person in my time here who makes insensitive posts and invalidates the suffering of others, or is just unnecessarily rude or confrontational. I don't engage with pot-stirrers or people who are unnecessarily hostile towards others, nor do I get involved in any riffs between other members, if there are any – I don't have the energy and it's not worth it. I've gotta pick my battles carefully, and that just isn't one of them.

Just like with any other community, whether it's online or in real life, SS isn't immune to the occasional "bad apple", so if I suspect that someone is bullying or harassing other members or trying to scam people, then I'll report them so that the mods can deal with it accordingly, but I've personally never had any problems here (quite the opposite, in fact) and I don't think I've ever actually blocked a member, just because I still want to be "reachable" if anyone wants or needs to chat, or be able to throw someone a react just to let them know that I see them. EVEN IF someone's acting like a total ass, though, I still recognize that they're hurting, too, and there's a large part of me that actually feels bad for them. I'm not saying that it excuses being an asshole, but it might explain it, at the very least. (Just a disclaimer, I'm not referring to anyone or anything in particular.)

At the end of the day, we're all here because we're hurting immensely and just want to be seen and be part of a community where we can connect to others and talk about things that we can't normally talk about in everyday life, as well as have the resources to a peaceful and dignified end to our lives if that's what we choose to do. I'm incredibly grateful for SS for a wide variety of reasons, and even if it sounds corny or "fake", I genuinely care about everyone who's on here and it hurts my heart that there are so many great people who have been completely fucked by life.

I am not talking about conflicts really. I am talking about singular discriminatory and bigoted comments stated completely outside of the context of the particular discussion - E.G Someone could be talking about feeling low and some person will pipe in and blame it on migrants or diversity or whatever. The comment will have nothing to do with what the OP has stated. I have seen these sorts of remarks. I recently saw a remark with respect to a video of a woman CTB with SN, and a person sarcastically referred to her potential ethnicity/religion. This was what was important to this commentator - not her death... but that.

 

[stygal]

There's always and everywhere going to be folks I don't get along with - as @stevienix said - for me it's usually very conservative/bigoted/kinda [insert whatever race/sex/...] ~ist people ...but I'm a person who's never keen on being caught up in a conflict so I chose to ignore those idiots (for the most part). And if I do - I don't really get offended/only annoyed.

I like this forum as a whole & as everyone pointed out "we" usually get along pretty well.

 

[alfie]

Or choose to ignore? Do not give specific names of course !!!

I've been on this site since July and was scrolling through the threads of some people only to see them filled with, for example, rhetoric against all manner of people from migrants to Jewish people to other groups. As these are not the sort of people I would engage with in real life, I simply ignore them now.
I know that people bring their prejudices with them (even if they are suicidal, in recovery etc... ) wherever they find themselves - e.g work, forums, sports events, etc. it is just that for some silly reason, I thought that for participants on this website, these focal points would be less relevant to them given that this particular website is related to CTB or recovery from CTB and not hatred for other people for characteristics they have no control over.
.... I dislike many people but not because of their race, ethnicity, religion, gender, sexual orientation... No - I'm not an angel and I'm not saying I am one but I just do not dislike people for these aforementioned reasons.

I dunno.... sometimes it just feels that because a person might be feeling bad, this is accepted as being part and parcel of a person's suicidality, despite the fact that their ideology might in turn be impacting other people on this forum. Do not get me wrong - it is not a majority of people doing or saying this sort of thing, but it is enough for me to take note and then want to step back.

Are there any general reasons you choose to ignore users' posts

Or choose to ignore? Do not give specific names of course !!!

I've been on this site since July and was scrolling through the threads of some people only to see them filled with, for example, rhetoric against all manner of people from migrants to Jewish people to other groups. As these are not the sort of people I would engage with in real life, I simply ignore them now.
I know that people bring their prejudices with them (even if they are suicidal, in recovery etc... ) wherever they find themselves - e.g work, forums, sports events, etc. it is just that for some silly reason, I thought that for participants on this website, these focal points would be less relevant to them given that this particular website is related to CTB or recovery from CTB and not hatred for other people for characteristics they have no control over.
.... I dislike many people but not because of their race, ethnicity, religion, gender, sexual orientation... No - I'm not an angel and I'm not saying I am one but I just do not dislike people for these aforementioned reasons.

I dunno.... sometimes it just feels that because a person might be feeling bad, this is accepted as being part and parcel of a person's suicidality, despite the fact that their ideology might in turn be impacting other people on this forum. Do not get me wrong - it is not a majority of people doing or saying this sort of thing, but it is enough for me to take note and then want to step back.

Are there any general reasons you choose to ignore users' posts?

Yes. I avoid most people (I was diagnosed with avoidant personality disorder) but the most toxic people I've ever met have been on this site's chatroom. Have you been there? It is rife with abuse and mockery and harassment run rampant. And the mods participate! If they don't like your personality, they will pick on and gang up on you. And, like many other places in the world, they take great relish in humiliating people. I was just shadowbanned from there right after speaking up about the abusive behavior of a mod and other regulars on there. He banned me from chat and gave me a warning without specifying a reason or the message that triggered it. I kid you not! They can just do that without consequences. It was nowhere near perfect before but the arrogant culture over there has reached an all time low. They will mock you until you speak up and then turn the tables on you and make you look like the bad one. Hypocrisy, double standards, and favoritism are common but never have I seen them as full blown as on this site, specifically on the chat. Anyway, it has been a necessary learning experience and I know now to avoid people even more because most are apparently assholes!

 

[Manaaja]

After making like a 100+ posts, two people came, read one line of one of my 100+ posts, misinterpreted it completely and decided that I was worse than Hitler, Mussolini, North Korea and Stalin combined. I tried explaining myself to them, but they claimed that I was being sarcastic and all the world's problems are my fault. And then they almost sent me death threats on a suicide forum. I really hope they were just bots because I've never seen worse people on the net and because they treated me like I was a healthy billionaire neurotypical who lives in a brand new palace with loving family, ten wives, and fifteen husbands and a hundred kids, and owns all the money in the world and is basically like a god of the whole world. And they were two users and not just one. I felt like they just purposely wanted to misinterpret and get offended. Like wtf, I lose Hearthstone matches all the time, but I still don't take it out on people of this forum.

Of course I banned them. Good riddance.

One person I blocked because they posted content that I didn't like. They didn't interact with me nor I with them, but I just didn't want to see a single post from them ever again. I just didn't personally like it. I don't remember why I didn't like it though.

Then there was this one person who claimed that I don't have narcissistic parents and that I'm just lying and my parents are actually great. Like, if my parents were really great, why would I lie about them on an anonymous suicide forum? Did they really think that I woke up one day thinking "My parents are so great! They bought me a new toilet and promised to get a pipe repair so I can shower and drink tap water! And they hired professional cleaners to clean the whole place! And they never ask for rent or anything because they know that I don't have money as a poor disabled person! Wow my parents are so cool and great and I'm so grateful to have them! Time to go to an anonymous suicide forum to post lies about them!"? Why would an adult offspring who has great parents post hateful comments of their parents? They wouldn't. Thank god there are forums for narc parent's victims so I can vent about them there.

I haven't seen discriminatory content aside from mild homophobia and sexism. I have never visited the chatroom so I don't know what the going on is like in there.

 

[StevieNixs]

Yes. I avoid most people (I was diagnosed with avoidant personality disorder) but the most toxic people I've ever met have been on this site's chatroom. Have you been there? It is rife with abuse and mockery and harassment run rampant. And the mods participate! If they don't like your personality, they will pick on and gang up on you. And, like many other places in the world, they take great relish in humiliating people. I was just shadowbanned from there right after speaking up about the abusive behavior of a mod and other regulars on there. He banned me from chat and gave me a warning without specifying a reason or the message that triggered it. I kid you not! They can just do that without consequences. It was nowhere near perfect before but the arrogant culture over there has reached an all time low. They will mock you until you speak up and then turn the tables on you and make you look like the bad one. Hypocrisy, double standards, and favoritism are common but never have I seen them as full blown as on this site, specifically on the chat. Anyway, it has been a necessary learning experience and I know now to avoid people even more because most are assholes!

No never been on the chatroom and it does not sound like it appeals to me tbh.

 

[littlelungs]

I am not talking about conflicts really. I am talking about singular discriminatory and bigoted comments stated completely outside of the context of the particular discussion - E.G Someone could be talking about feeling low and some person will pipe in and blame it on migrants or diversity or whatever - and this will simply go unchallenged. The comment will have nothing to do with what the OP has stated. I have seen these sorts of remarks. I recently saw a remark with respect to a video of a woman CTB with SN, and a person sarcastically referred to her potential ethnicity/religion. This was what was important to this commentator - not her death... but that.

Sure, I get that. I guess that's what I mean just by general pot-stirrers and the like – I should have specified. I saw that comment you're referring to... I've seen a few like that, where someone's talking about something else entirely and then someone else jumps in and blames whatever was being talked about on "all women" or whatever. That's the most common theme I've seen, but once in a blue moon I've seen someone just randomly jump in and say something like "migrants are the downfall of America" or "political correctness drives people to kill themselves", or generally just goes off on a bigoted tangent that really has absolutely nothing to do with the topic at hand. Just based on what I've actually seen with my own eyes and in real time, it's thankfully quite rare in the grand scheme of things, but there have definitely been a few times where I've raised my eyebrows and just thought, "Where the fuck did that even come from?"

 

[alfie]

I ignore people who post rude stuff. The form is more important than the content for me.

The problem with considering form as more important than content is that there's a tendency for people to interpret as "rude" opinions that they don't like or agree with. Also, being honest, blunt, and talking real is often interpreted as rude, no matter how a statement is said. So yeah, it's a ticklish matter.

I have seen very few arguments here - far fewer than on many other platforms.

The main problem here is, of course, the pros and cons of CTB.

But that's what a forum is for - everyone should be allowed to express their opinion as long as no one is insulted or belittled.

Well, honestly, no matter how nice or polite you are, if people don't like your personality, if you are too nice, unlikeable for some reason, or just plain fun to mock, they will insult and belittle you. Beware the clique-ish group in this site's chatroom. If you are not part of the "in" crowd there, they will pick on you. And if you speak up on it, the mods who also participate in the abuse, will ban you from chat.

 

[StevieNixs]

The problem with considering form as more important than content is that there's a tendency for people to interpret as "rude" opinions that they don't like or agree with. Also, being honest, blunt, and talking real is often interpreted as rude, no matter how a statement is said. So yeah, it's a ticklish matter.

But do you not think there is a difference between being honest and blunt and being discriminatory? I know you have responded to someone else on this thread but in my OP I never mentioned rudeness. I came across an extremely rude and person the first time I posted on this website. I simply ignored him from thereon. But if a person as I previously stated is CTB and the only remark someone has to say about it is to mention their religion and ethnicity in a targeted way, then I interpret this not as rudeness or bluntness but bigotry. Anyway, no mind, I have come to realise that a few people can be as invidious as everyone else even if they are at the precipice of CTB.

 

[alfie]

Anyway, no mind, I have come to realise that a few people can be as invidious as everyone else even if they are at the precipice of CTB.

This I have seen to be so true. Even more so, in fact. Popular opinion is that people on this site are so nice, welcoming, and kind. It may seem that way at first. It certainly did to me. But later on, that veil of seeming niceness will peel back and a rotten underlayer will be revealed. You'll see. I hope you don't though because I have had many unpleasant (but educational) experiences on this site. I've learned far more about human behaviour here than anywhere else. But human nature, is what it is. I'm glad I learned about it more, even if it has been most unsavoury.

 

[StevieNixs]

Sure, I get that. I guess that's what I mean just by general pot-stirrers and the like – I should have specified. I saw that comment you're referring to... I've seen a few like that, where someone's talking about something else entirely and then someone else jumps in and blames whatever was being talked about on "all women" or whatever. That's the most common theme I've seen, but once in a blue moon I've seen someone just randomly jump in and say something like "migrants are the downfall of America" or "political correctness drives people to kill themselves", or generally just goes off on a bigoted tangent that really has absolutely nothing to do with the topic at hand. Just based on what I've actually seen with my own eyes and in real time, it's thankfully quite rare in the grand scheme of things, but there have definitely been a few times where I've raised my eyebrows and just thought, Where the fuck did that even come from?"

Yep I'm with you on that one.

 

[ven]

I will ignore a person if they are only here to troll people.

 

[alfie]

I will ignore a person if they are only here to troll people.

A bunch of people here, based on how they behave, that is probably what they're here to do