My father. He humiliates me. I can't leave him anywhere. For many reasons. I'm tired of living like this and I want to die. I'm really tired, he's raping my psyche.
Pupuce
Nobody exists on purpose. Come ctb
- Apr 19, 2019
- 282
I wouldn't say i want to die because of a toxic parent for 2 reasons :
1 - He was an useless asshole i happened to share half my DNA with
2 - I'm more concerned about the future being unattractive
That said, he probably has some weight in the balance in a way or another
1 - He was an useless asshole i happened to share half my DNA with
2 - I'm more concerned about the future being unattractive
That said, he probably has some weight in the balance in a way or another
not_a_robot
"i hope the leaving is joyful, & never to return"
- May 30, 2019
- 2,121
yes. no need to waste more words on him than that.
Darkhaven
All i have left is memories
- May 19, 2019
- 979
Not directly. But my upbringing definately aggravated my situation. Growing up with a distant and uninterested father and witnessing my mother's post marriage failed relationships caused me some serious damage that will never be healed.
Being born with a messed up head like me is one thing. But when you want to ctb because of other people's fault is even worse. I could actually see that as murder. When someone makes another person's life a living hell and the affected person develops a rational wish to ctb then, they are murderers in my book, and should pay for it as such.
Consider that Dutch girl that starved herself to death and lived almost all her life with depression because she was raped several times.
In my opinion these dirty pieces of shit should not only be held accounted for the rape but also for a homicide. They didn't do it but they created the whole scenario that led to the suicide.
But i digress.
So answering the OP's question: no i don't want to do it because of my parents but their lifestyle choices messed me up even more. The several psycopaths they chose as partners after divorce made me get suspicious about basically every human being and caused me to have a bad idea about everyone right of the bat.
Being born with a messed up head like me is one thing. But when you want to ctb because of other people's fault is even worse. I could actually see that as murder. When someone makes another person's life a living hell and the affected person develops a rational wish to ctb then, they are murderers in my book, and should pay for it as such.
Consider that Dutch girl that starved herself to death and lived almost all her life with depression because she was raped several times.
In my opinion these dirty pieces of shit should not only be held accounted for the rape but also for a homicide. They didn't do it but they created the whole scenario that led to the suicide.
But i digress.
So answering the OP's question: no i don't want to do it because of my parents but their lifestyle choices messed me up even more. The several psycopaths they chose as partners after divorce made me get suspicious about basically every human being and caused me to have a bad idea about everyone right of the bat.
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bigj75
“From Knowledge springs power."
- Sep 1, 2018
- 2,540
hell yae. Plenty of people have shit parents. that just further drives them to want to ctb. it's fucked up but real. parents can be the biggest influence on if a person ctb's or not.
Even then the damage will still make things difficult. I will harbor resentment until i die. But it's worth a try to see how you can manage
My biggest problem is disabling social phobia which is the result of my parents who set the worst possible example of socialization. They had no social connections at all so they couldn't possibly model normal social behavior for me to imitate. They hardly had any connection to their own family, such that I never even met my maternal grandparents. And it wasn't an issue of distance, since these grandparents were within 10 miles and they were alive for the first 20 years of my life. I never met my uncle and only a few times did I meet one of my aunts. They've been dead for quite a while now, but the damage they did lives on. They should never have had any children.
I'm pretty sure my father was schizoid, which looks just like social anxiety except it's missing the anxiety part. He was a total loner though being all alone never seemed to distress him. Though impossible to know how he actually felt, since it's not like he ever communicated with me in any meaningful way. As an adult one of the few things we would discuss is his investment portfolio and I'd give investment advice, though that's as deep as it got.
I'm pretty sure my father was schizoid, which looks just like social anxiety except it's missing the anxiety part. He was a total loner though being all alone never seemed to distress him. Though impossible to know how he actually felt, since it's not like he ever communicated with me in any meaningful way. As an adult one of the few things we would discuss is his investment portfolio and I'd give investment advice, though that's as deep as it got.
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LifeIsNotFun
Mage
- Jun 1, 2019
- 530
262653
Cluesome
- Apr 5, 2018
- 1,733
Mine had stopped emanating absurd amounts of toxicity once I've hit the age of reasoning. And body growth. Drama was a common occurrence before, now they keep their bullshit to themselves or grew out of it. They supply me with everything needed for a living and leave me in peace, and I'm content with that.
throwaway123
Hell0
- Aug 5, 2018
- 1,446
onlyinsleep
I can see their faces
- Jun 3, 2019
- 111
Yep massive pieces of shit. Can't wait to CTB and kill their property value. Lol.
For the record I've always been abused. Nothing changed. I'm physically abused and mentally/sleep deprivation torture coercive abuse, threats to my property etc. I was abused as a child and into adulthood into complete mental disability as well as physical. Inherited their shit genes for health issues and my sibling.
Why is it also with piece of shit parents they isolate from their main family? To abuse? I never knew my dads side of the family either (my mom's side is all dead because she's an old relic). My dad's side of the family never knew my side. I've always had to hide it and my parents lie about the abuse, as most abusers do (my dad knows it happens, he just doesn't take responsibility--never has. He steps aside and lets me get struck.
They never got me help for social issues either due to arrogance--there's a a possibility I have autism and my sister thinks she might. I'm waay broken. Thanks for listening to me whine.
For the record I've always been abused. Nothing changed. I'm physically abused and mentally/sleep deprivation torture coercive abuse, threats to my property etc. I was abused as a child and into adulthood into complete mental disability as well as physical. Inherited their shit genes for health issues and my sibling.
Why is it also with piece of shit parents they isolate from their main family? To abuse? I never knew my dads side of the family either (my mom's side is all dead because she's an old relic). My dad's side of the family never knew my side. I've always had to hide it and my parents lie about the abuse, as most abusers do (my dad knows it happens, he just doesn't take responsibility--never has. He steps aside and lets me get struck.
They never got me help for social issues either due to arrogance--there's a a possibility I have autism and my sister thinks she might. I'm waay broken. Thanks for listening to me whine.
Going Home
Specialist
- Sep 21, 2018
- 357
If someone punishes you for 18 months trying to break your spirit in the name of morality or whatever, does that count? If so yes. That's a person pushing me into my grave slowly because they know not many care.
Quinlor
The stranger
- Feb 21, 2019
- 1,058
My family is a mess but I do not blame them for my will of ctb. The only toxic person I know is myself ... I hurt the only woman that liked me.
ExitTheDay
We fight to live or live to die
- May 26, 2019
- 336
Oh fuck yes, I mean my mom did her best taking care of me growing up but I feel like she wants nothing to do with me anymore to be honest. It's like she only cares about having a man in her life to fulfill it but she's living in la-la-land... as for my father, fuck him... he only gives a shit about himself and always has, he's proven that to me this past month
Going Home
Specialist
- Sep 21, 2018
- 357
I can relate especially to the parent's choice in partners and someone making another person's life a living hell, or contributing to it.
Marian
Member
- Jun 14, 2019
- 12
The same thing happens to me, but in this case is with my mom.
All my life I have wondered why she hates me so much.
All my life I have wondered why she hates me so much.
ad3a
Member
- Jul 12, 2019
- 5
I haven't had my father in my life since the age of 13 or so, my mother is very kind to me although she suffers from alcoholism and mental health issues.
I wonder if I'd be whole different person if I grew up with my father instead.
I wonder if I'd be whole different person if I grew up with my father instead.
Dreamcolleger
I surrender... I SURRENDER!
- Apr 26, 2019
- 219
I think parents need to put a certain amount of investment into their kids, otherwise why did they have kids? Even if they're not directly abusive, honestly, in this harsh world, kids need every bit of support from their parents that they can get. Because while one is doing the bare minimum, every other is doing everything.
Mine did abuse me, at least they will get theirs when they reach old age. Absolutely nobody will have their backs.
I managed to get myself into a good field, but guess what? I'm physically and mentally crippled. I can't even walk in a straight line or hold a proper conversation, thanks to them. I do hope they live very long lives.
Mine did abuse me, at least they will get theirs when they reach old age. Absolutely nobody will have their backs.
I managed to get myself into a good field, but guess what? I'm physically and mentally crippled. I can't even walk in a straight line or hold a proper conversation, thanks to them. I do hope they live very long lives.
Yeah. Then again, going by her own words, it'd be better if I did die so eh...at least I'm not worried about hurting them lol. Been wondering for some time if I should write them a "fuck you" suicide note when I go. Probably not worth it?
