Discussion Are suicide letters pointless?

[senti-mental]

Whenever the urge to die gets strong, I start trying to write letters. The two reasons I have for writing them is to make those who hurt me understand how they made me feel, or to assure my friends that my suicide isn't their fault. But is it just pointless? Those who hurt me will never understand, they'll just find a way to blame me. And those who aren't at fault, always seem to find ways to blame themselves, I've seen it happen.

Is there any point at all to suicide notes? or will people always draw their own conclusions regarding someone's suicide?

 

[...]

on the first point 100%. ive had people read notes from failed suicide attempts and they've not spoke to me since. they wont care, might pretend to grieve for a bit for the people who do care, but overall will just hate you even more by being weirded out that you are depressed/suicidal. i definitely won't be writing anymore thats for sure, there's no point.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

People will always try to make of your suicide what they will, but a note is your only chance to really make your voice heard by people who might not know you well enough or who might actually relate to what you have to say, at least that's kind of how I see it…

 

[CommitSudoku]

I'd sort of say both. Does writing them make you feel better? Or are there things about you that people will never know and you can't say but would like to be known? That's been the best use for a suicide note I made in the past. There would be no way for my family or anyone else to know for just how long I've seen myself as doomed and contemplated and worked towards this. So if it serves a purpose to you then definitely it's worth it.

As for others, I don't know how much it will do for them. It depends on the person, like you said some people will always feel guilt, others won't. Perhaps your urge to write shows you have lots of things currently unsaid and you could examine if you can say some of them while you're still around? No need to write it, if you can say it. Those are just some of my two cents. I've stopped writing proper notes for a while, but in the past it brought me peace and those notes are still around if others discover them. I might write a simple note again as well, just to harp on points. It would be more for myself, to at least know I tried my best to tell my family it was my decision and not their fault.

 

[symphony]

I wish there was actual definitive information on this, but I guess it depends on what you're trying to accomplish in your letter. Will people understand more, blame themselves less? Maybe, but also likely not. I expect I'll probably try to accomplish that anyways. But more than that, leaving a note would give loved ones a last communication to hold on to. It's a way for the suicidal to say goodbye and I love you. And that in itself might just make it worth it, at least for me. I don't know.

 

[wCvML2]

I think that most people will come to their own conclusions regardless of what is written in the suicide letter, but there are sometimes a few people who will actually read the letter and try to understand the person who killed themselves.

In my case, I think that my family won't care what I write in the letter and will say and think a bunch of nonsense like always. They never understood me, and I don't think it'll change after my death... So my personal choice is to not leave a lettler behind because it's pointless to try to explain things to my family,

 

[AnnyMyr]

Если вас волнует реакция других людей на вашу смерть, то вы не так больны и ваша депрессия не так сильна. Ищите хорошего врача, пробуйте снова бороться. И больше не общайся с этими людьми. Когда мне было 17, я ушла из дома и живу отдельно.

 

[FuneralCry]

I do believe that people may not fully understand, but personally I would choose to write a note instead of not leaving one. I do believe that writing one could give those left behind some closure and will not mean that they are left with unanswered questions.

 

[Seraphim]

I do believe that people may not fully understand, but personally I would choose to write a note instead of not leaving one. I do believe that writing one could give those left behind some closure and will not mean that they are left with unanswered questions.

This. A letter won't take away the pain, but it may answer some questions.

 

[.............]

It all depends on a person's situation, really. Inevitably, a note won't really help the hurting, but it might make things less of a hell to stomach for other person.

With that being said, some people just don't have people who care for them in that way, so maybe those people opt to not write a letter at all since it's pointless to them. Some may not have anyone they're leaving behind, but would still want to write a letter just to feel they've left one last thing behind in the world. But there can be some people who will be leaving behind caring people, and want to at least ease some burdens by letting them know what brought them to that point and not to feel guilt. I could go on, but again, it's just a case-to-case basis.

 

[tser1073]

With that being said, some people just don't have people who care for them in that way, so maybe those people opt to not write a letter at all since it's pointless to them.

This is my situation, I don't have anyone to write to so it never even occurred to me to write a letter.

 

[hdahsa]

I do not think that they are pointless at all. I have one written and I keep updating it, putting in my thoughts and reasons which drive me towards ctb.

My reasoning is that there should be no ambiguity as to why this happened, although it will not matter to me at all, it will matter to those few who do care about me.

 

[freevoid]

I guess at the end of the day we cannot predict, nor control, how people will react or what they will think. So when it comes to letters, only do it for yourself, what you want to say/release, for your own catharsis and peace.

 

[OceanBlue]

I never understood how difficult it was to write one until I tried it, it always seems too long and not long enough at the same time. I think it could be nice to leave some words for people who cared about you, but I find it too agonising, I might end up not writing anything at all.

I would like to ask people not to remember it as some kind of tragedy as in my worldview it's a human right to end their own life and that the real tragedy happened when I was born - when the death was imposed on me. But trying to explain this to people who were not familiar with my views in a suicide note seems unfitting somehow.

 

[DrWh033]

No they are not. Make sure you clear up that it is your own decision, not influenced or assisted by anyone. The last thing you want is for police to start interrogating your family as accomplices or perpetrators of your own suicide.
The rest is not that necessary.

 

[Mr. Incapable]

Depends on the person, I guess. In the U.K. there are inquests and investigations for every sudden or unexplained death, so if you suddenly take your life without any note or explanation then it's likely that there will be a much more thorough investigation to figure out why.. possibly looking through your digital footprint, web searches, text messages etc to look for any information that would indicate to a reason for you to end your life.

Even though I'll be dead, I want to make it easier for everyone, whether that's my family or the inquest so I'll write exactly how I feel, why I chose to take my life and hopefully everything will run a lot smoother, a lot quicker, no confusion, just opened and closed as quick as possible. I don't want things to drag out longer than they need to, plus it'll give everyone more closure and understanding hopefully.