It seems like everything has gone to hell, partially because of the virus, but there's just been a lot of shit going wrong, one event after another.
I got into a relationship in Dec 2019. It seemed too good to be true. A person who actually loved me and cared about me. But, because of my mental issues and quick anger, it didn't work out. He did nice things for me yet I was still constantly paranoid. I tried to hurt him a few times, and I definitely verbally abused him. So he left. I had to move out of his apartment. He told me while we were dating even if we broke up he'd still always care. Now he doesn't give a shit about me in the slightest, and I feel as if my suicide would be good news to him.
He left me in March 2020. I had just started a new job. But with him leaving me, my suicidal thoughts came back strong, and my therapist admitted me to the local mental hospital. That job then let me go when I got out. It didn't end there, I had more suicidal issues and had to go back again. I got out again, and four days later, I have a full on mental breakdown to which the cops had to show up. They took me again. I spent 18 days total.
I'm 18 years old and a senior in high school with zero plans after graduation. Since school is now online, and I've missed so much being in and out the hospital, I don't even know if I will graduate. I can't get into an actual college due to shitty test scores, but even tech school isn't an option because I won't get a single scholarship and my family has made it very clear they refuse to pay for my college. I don't even have a car to get me to college. I live with my grandma, and now she's saying I can't get a job unless she also works there to "save gas", when in reality my mother thinks I'm a whore (partially true) and my grandma just wants to make sure I'm not being a slut at work.
I have nothing to look forward to at all. None of my "friends" have made ANY efforts to contact me in any way, shape, or form in over 3 weeks. I would just be a housewife, but I'm not very pretty, and no man will ever want me again. I have zero goals and I can't think of a single job I want to do. Nothing makes me happy anymore. My ex is the only person I've ever actually loved or cared about, and now he probably wants me to kill myself more than anything. So are my thoughts valid? Is there any hope at all, or should I go ahead and do it as everyone wishes? Thank you in advance
I got into a relationship in Dec 2019. It seemed too good to be true. A person who actually loved me and cared about me. But, because of my mental issues and quick anger, it didn't work out. He did nice things for me yet I was still constantly paranoid. I tried to hurt him a few times, and I definitely verbally abused him. So he left. I had to move out of his apartment. He told me while we were dating even if we broke up he'd still always care. Now he doesn't give a shit about me in the slightest, and I feel as if my suicide would be good news to him.
He left me in March 2020. I had just started a new job. But with him leaving me, my suicidal thoughts came back strong, and my therapist admitted me to the local mental hospital. That job then let me go when I got out. It didn't end there, I had more suicidal issues and had to go back again. I got out again, and four days later, I have a full on mental breakdown to which the cops had to show up. They took me again. I spent 18 days total.
I'm 18 years old and a senior in high school with zero plans after graduation. Since school is now online, and I've missed so much being in and out the hospital, I don't even know if I will graduate. I can't get into an actual college due to shitty test scores, but even tech school isn't an option because I won't get a single scholarship and my family has made it very clear they refuse to pay for my college. I don't even have a car to get me to college. I live with my grandma, and now she's saying I can't get a job unless she also works there to "save gas", when in reality my mother thinks I'm a whore (partially true) and my grandma just wants to make sure I'm not being a slut at work.
I have nothing to look forward to at all. None of my "friends" have made ANY efforts to contact me in any way, shape, or form in over 3 weeks. I would just be a housewife, but I'm not very pretty, and no man will ever want me again. I have zero goals and I can't think of a single job I want to do. Nothing makes me happy anymore. My ex is the only person I've ever actually loved or cared about, and now he probably wants me to kill myself more than anything. So are my thoughts valid? Is there any hope at all, or should I go ahead and do it as everyone wishes? Thank you in advance
