Story Apparently there are still things holding me back

[Thingsneverchange]

We'll go to a mountain cottage on the weekend. If I do try to commit suicide I'll surely wont be able to go because either I die or I'll get hospitalized. Which brings me to the next point: I really don't want to be hospitalized.
I am so craving for meds lately. And even if it were just 5 it would make me feel better. I always think I could just take 5 and nobody would notice. I don't even know what to do anymore

 

[timf]

When our focus narrows, things like feelings intensify. This can make it difficult to make decisions as our frame of reference becomes distorted.

Is it possible to broaden the perspective to include consideration of activities at the cottage and what plans there are after your return.

Sometimes suicide can seem to grow in attractiveness or inevitability because we have become detached from other considerations.