Apathy; friend or foe?

[Lamebrain]

I ask this because while I know it is mostly detrimental, I also find it makes for good armour against bad things happening. Like, with rejection or something, I don't know. I had someone I thought I had a connection with devalue and block me entirely without warning, and I'd really love that apathy to settle in right now, instead of feeling this badly (don't even know WHY it's affecting me this badly, actually.) It also cancels out a lot of the various anxieties I have in general. It's like a fucked up best friend or something, to me. The only thing I'm NOT apathetic about is my family, who I'm blessed to have, if not for them I certainly wouldn't still be here. It's all really confusing and I can't descide.

 

[hamvil]

For me is a foe, it is weeks i have nothing to do at work and I need to find time to kill time. I write a bit my diary, i scroll LinkedIn. Today I decided to post a bit on SS, but this last of something to do is killing me I feel already useles this makes it even worse.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Both for me. Recently, it's been my friend. I used to get SO stressed and guilt ridden when I wasn't working all the time. Recently though, I just don't care. Having said that- I think things are going to get crazy busy soon and I'm going to struggle I think- because I've slumped too much and because I just don't have the same motivation/ enthusiasm that I used to. I suppose fortunately- I'm still afraid to fail! The apathy hasn't dislodged that from my psyche yet. Hopefully that will be enough motivation for me to get my shit together...