Discussion Apart from CTB, what are you worried about RIGHT NOW?

[WornOutLife]

Right now, at this very moment, apart from CTB, what is that that's worrying you?

As for me, I'm worried about tomorrow's hangover. It's really gonna hurt!!!

 

[UninformedLover]

I'm worried about my cats. One of them threw up and I'm scared there's something terribly wrong. I hope not.

 

[Isisnefert]

Ican't sleep, I think you are happy, I Don't think you try ctb again, really you love yourself, a lot of us hate ourselves

 

[EmbraceOfTheVoid]

You can't have a hangover if you keep drinking but if you insist on stopping then I recommend you take tips from the balkans:

 

[Superdeterminist]

Tbh, ctb doesn't worry me much, ctb is really the hope I have for relief from all the worries. And my worries are typical ones, mainly financial and social. I'm not far from homelessness and I hate the trajectory my life has taken, and I'm very scared of what my future will look like. I already scared of the present, I feel uncomfortable just going outside.

 

[WornOutLife]

Ican't sleep, I think you are happy, I Don't think you try ctb again, really you love yourself, a lot of us hate ourselves

Lamento que no puedas dormir pero me pone contento que sigas aca :D.
I don't love myself. Actually, I really hate myself because being depressed got me soo fat and I became a really lonely person.

However, being on SS and talking to people like you makes me really happy.


@EmbraceOfTheVoid

Haha I was listening to a song which told me to do that. Just keep on drinking.
Oh, thanks for that video! Gonna check it out.


@Hidden Base

I can relate. Your worries make total sense.

 

[Isisnefert]

Estoy preocupado por mis gatos. Uno de ellos vomitó y tengo miedo de que haya algo terriblemente mal. Espero que no.

I feel you, I have 3 cats, they are the most important for me

 

[Catchingdabus27]

Honestly?? My lack of acceptable alcohol rn?? I just have beer which is super lame at this point and Im wondering if I should get a cocktail kit..

Semi jokes aside, my place is kinda messy like I needa clean up... but prob wont heavily until tmrw or smthin?? The heat just makes it more gross. Its like 25C and likeee thats almost summer weather?

And im worried about going to the hospital tmrw to get my meds.

Also, i just setting up a smart tv or whatever its called and im worried about tryna stream crave. Wanna watch drag race again!!!

 

[Isisnefert]

I was a beautifu and pretty girl until I gained 30 kg last years, I a los hate myself, I have only lost 10 kg, it's so hard..

 

[WornOutLife]

I was a beautifu and pretty girl until I gained 30 kg last years, I a los hate myself, I have only lost 10 kg, it's so hard..

I know that feeling!
I gained 30kg very easily but losing them is so ridiculously hard!

 

[charlotte greentea]

I'm worried about my mother dying. She's in the hospital right now and has been in poor health for a long time.

 

[Isisnefert]

Tbh, ctb no me preocupa mucho, ctb es realmente la esperanza que tengo de aliviar todas las preocupaciones. Y mis preocupaciones son típicas, principalmente financieras y sociales. No estoy lejos de estar sin hogar y odio la trayectoria que ha tomado mi vida, y tengo mucho miedo de cómo será mi futuro. Ya tengo miedo del presente, me siento incómodo con solo salir.

Same

 

[Amumu]

I can't sleep

 

[Isisnefert]

No puedo dormir

I am trying with benzos

 

[SadGirl]

I think I'm a little worried about my current job. But in general I am feeling listless. I can't feel anything but a low mood, anger and apathy.

 

[ExhaustedExistence]

I'm worried about my future. I'm going to finish high school this year. I don't know what will be next. It so hard focus on your future, when the only thing you want is ctb. I can't even study for my final exams. I don't want to go to university nor work. Even if I wanted they wouldn't want me. I have no motivation to do anything. I think I will become a NEET. Or ctb.

 

[SadGirl]

I was a beautifu and pretty girl until I gained 30 kg last years, I a los hate myself, I have only lost 10 kg, it's so hard..

I know it's hard to accept, physically, especially since this shitty society imposes stupid standards on ignorant people, who are the majority. I am out of the ordinary as well, not physically perhaps, but in other ways. You are still beautiful <3

 

[walktothewater]

Nothing, as I've decided to CTB on my 48th birthday. Now that I've picked a date, I intend to make the last 5 months of my life as enjoyable as possible. Unfortunately for the rest of society, I won't be tolerating any bullshit. If they push me too far, I might decide to take a few others with me. I consider these words on this relatively obscure website to be a friendly warning. I hope, for their sake, that it is heeded.

 

[UseItOrLoseIt]

I worry about my mother being very sick and on a lot of strong medications. She's becoming very weak and I don't want her to suffer or lose her.

I worry about my father because he's also getting weaker and frail, and I see he's suffering because of me and my mom.

I worry about my nephew because I see a lot of me in him and I fear he might turn out like me.

Other worries realate mostly to work. Working in customer service with BPD with APD traits is not an easy task. Lots of triggers and low points. I'm on medical leave now for a week and a half, for unrelated digestive issues. I welcome the rest. From time to time I need to get away from people to reset.

It frustrates me that I don't have a computer and can't persue N. And I want to! I'm stuck with my phone and that's no good.

 

[Avyn]

I'm worried about my future. I'm going to finish high school this year. I don't know what will be next. It so hard focus on your future, when the only thing you want is ctb. I can't even study for my final exams. I don't want to go to university nor work. Even if I wanted they wouldn't want me. I have no motivation to do anything. I think I will become a NEET. Or ctb.

I completely understand you. I finished high school last year, the final exams were hell. Studying and focusing was impossible, all I was thinking about is how useless everything is and how I will ctb anyway. Now I am in university, 2nd semester and I will quit because I got forced to study something my parents wanted me to do. Working is also extremely hard because I am underweight and don't have the strength physically and mentally to do anything other than laying down and crying. You still have a lot of time though! Once you finish HS you can do something you like. If your parents are the ones making your life a hell, try to save up a bit by being NEET or working. One of my friends once told me "When you get your life sorted out and start feeling better, you will find your passion and what you want to do in your life"
I hope you recover and start feeling better, you still have time to decide what you want to do and hopefully you will be much much happier!

 

[rs929]

Ican't sleep, I think you are happy, I Don't think you try ctb again, really you love yourself, a lot of us hate ourselves

I think he does things in excess, he either loves himself too much or hates himself too much. The alcohol might have something to do with it

 

[WornOutLife]

I think he does things in excess, he either loves himself too much or hates himself too much. The alcohol might have something to do with it

Exactly. I do things in excess. Too many ups and downs that I can't control!

 

[rs929]

Right now, at this very moment, apart from CTB, what is that that's worrying you?

As for me, I'm worried about tomorrow's hangover. It's really gonna hurt!!!

I worry about why people don't love me. Am I a bad person? Who knows

 

[ExhaustedExistence]

I completely understand you. I finished high school last year, the final exams were hell. Studying and focusing was impossible, all I was thinking about is how useless everything is and how I will ctb anyway. Now I am in university, 2nd semester and I will quit because I got forced to study something my parents wanted me to do. Working is also extremely hard because I am underweight and don't have the strength physically and mentally to do anything other than laying down and crying. You still have a lot of time though! Once you finish HS you can do something you like. If your parents are the ones making your life a hell, try to save up a bit by being NEET or working. One of my friends once told me "When you get your life sorted out and start feeling better, you will find your passion and what you want to do in your life"
I hope you recover and start feeling better, you still have time to decide what you want to do and hopefully you will be much much happier!

Thank you. But I don't think I can recover or be happy. I don't have a lot of time. The first final exams are on May (originally it should be April). I have to decide what to do very soon, but I can't. Everybody ask me what I will do after high school and I'm like "Well, I would like to rest in peace."

I know how you feel. But if you will quit in the 2nd semester, the 1st one was useless, right? I hate the question, but what are you going to do then?

 

[WornOutLife]

This is a friendly reminder to tell you that I really enjoy reading your replies.
It's so interesting to know what you're worried about, what you're thinking of, etc.
I don't feel alone thanks to all of ya.
That's it.
I will be waiting for further replies lol.

 

[bloomingdark]

I worry about my boyfriend, he treats me in a really sad way, like he didn't care about me at all, but anyways I love him so much that i really hopes he can recover and finally be free from me...

 

[WornOutLife]

I worry about my boyfriend, he treats me in a really sad way, like he didn't care about me at all, but anyways I love him so much that i really hopes he can recover and finally be free from me...

Oh dear, I'm so sorry to hear.
You deserve someone who just gives you lots of love and makes you feel happy 24/7. You're so nice!

 

[bloomingdark]

Oh dear, I'm so sorry to hear.
You deserve someone who just gives you lots of love and makes you feel happy 24/7. You're so nice!

You kinda made me cry :') i feel like I'm so understood here, and I'm glad I can hear all of you and what your going through please if anyone feels comfortable reaching to me if feeling alone ,do it and thank you so much Matt

Take care and i hope your hangover is not that strong c: hahaha, idk why when someone's telling me they getting wasted af with alcohol i just think of one thing to tell them and is sleep from the side! Lmao it's kind of dumb but take care, and i hope you enjoy the feeling of drukness

 

[WornOutLife]

You kinda made me cry :') i feel like I'm so understood here, and I'm glad I can hear all of you and what your going through please if anyone feels comfortable reaching to me if feeling alone ,do it and thank you so much Matt

Take care and i hope your hangover is not that strong c: hahaha, idk why when someone's telling me they getting wasted af with alcohol i just think of one thing to tell them and is sleep from the side! Lmao it's kind of dumb but take care, and i hope you enjoy the feeling of drukness

Thank you very much! I hope tomorrow is not a hellish day. I'm so happy right now but as you know, the happier you are while you're drunk, the worse the next day will be!

 

[Avyn]

Thank you. But I don't think I can recover or be happy. I don't have a lot of time. The first final exams are on May (originally it should be April). I have to decide what to do very soon, but I can't. Everybody ask me what I will do after high school and I'm like "Well, I would like to rest in peace."

I know how you feel. But if you will quit in the 2nd semester, the 1st one was useless, right? I hate the question, but what are you going to do then?

I have no idea but I cant stay in such an abusive environment either. And I will probably get kicked out no matter if i keep going to uni or not so I wont be able to focus on studies anyway. Probably find some work or die.

I also dont know what i want to do in the future, people in their 30s,40s still dont know! Being an adult doesnt always mean you should know everything. So many of us have no idea whats going on and what we wanna do. Maybe you can take a year off or check all your possibilities. Maybe you have some hobbies you like so much you would want to turn it into work. If you like games, maybe you can become a 3d animator, modeller, even voice actor! Anything youre passionate about will work

There's a lot of things you can choose from, you just need time to decide for yourself. If you feel stressed you will never get anywhere.