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H

Hateyouprolife

Survivalist
Sep 4, 2021
169
So basically after I decided in favor of ctb, my body is in constant state of panic. Lots and lots of sweating, sometimes shaking, weakness and high anxiety whenever I gather things needed. Stupid body!
 
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K

Kennish

Specialist
Aug 17, 2021
379
Yes my body is always sweating. And hands. And my face. I have very oily and distusting skin in my face.

Btw. Your title. Wasn't it meant it was fight or flight?
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
42,493
I never really feel relaxed, I am stressed all the time. I find it hard to concentrate. I just want to escape from it all. There is no point to continuing this life. It is awful being trapped in this human body.
 
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H

Hateyouprolife

Survivalist
Sep 4, 2021
169
Yes my body is always sweating. And hands. And my face. I have very oily and distusting skin in my face.

Btw. Your title. Wasn't it meant it was fight or flight?
Didnt notice, thanks for pointing out.
 
K

Kennish

Specialist
Aug 17, 2021
379
I never really feel relaxed, I am stressed all the time. I find it hard to concentrate. I just want to escape from it all. There is no point to continuing this life. It is awful being trapped in this human body.
It is so awful being in this human body. I hate it. I really don't understand why we get born into something uncomfortable. What the fuck is the point of this.
 
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Nolen

Nolen

You see it too? For me, it's always like this.
Feb 21, 2021
75
That sounds not great. I get frequent panic attacks but I found the process of getting my stuff to ctb very relaxing and exciting in a good way. It calms me down knowing I have a safe way out, not exactly like a big red button but close enough for me. Maybe you are putting to much pressure on yourself and don't feel forced to leave If you have everything ready.
 
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H

Hateyouprolife

Survivalist
Sep 4, 2021
169
That sounds not great. I get frequent panic attacks but I found the process of getting my stuff to ctb very relaxing and exciting in a good way. It calms me down knowing I have a safe way out, not exactly like a big red button but close enough for me. Maybe you are putting to much pressure on yourself and don't feel forced to leave If you have everything ready.
I think it has more do with fact that my escape window lasts only 2 nights. Which means I must get all required things by this time. Also dont wanna get caught preparing even though I only need simple things from grocery store.
 
Nolen

Nolen

You see it too? For me, it's always like this.
Feb 21, 2021
75
I think it has more do with fact that my escape window lasts only 2 nights. Which means I must get all required things by this time. Also dont wanna get caught preparing even though I only need simple things from grocery store.
What do you plan on using If you don't mind me asking?
 
Darkover

Darkover

Archangel
Jul 29, 2021
5,471
very recently i couldn't sleep for like 2 weeks just got a couple of hours sleep a day i had chronic stress my whole body felt like it was on fire felt like spontaneous human combustion lucky i got some olanzapine off the mental health team to put me to sleep, i'm still constantly uncomfortable because of a brain injury and stressed out just hope to leave this world behind soon.
 
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H

Hateyouprolife

Survivalist
Sep 4, 2021
169
What do you plan on using If you don't mind me asking?
Baking soda, vinegar and citric acid. Its gonna happen inside sealed bathroom inside 600-700L shower cabin and head in plastic bag with citric acid and soda. Should bag tear, there is srill high enough concentration in cabin.

Simpler than inert gas and CO2 also induces rapid loss of unconsciousness at higer concentrations. Even if there is little uncomfort I dont mind it.
 
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S

Someone123

Illuminated
Oct 19, 2021
3,875
My body is highly stressed since I have mainly lost realistic hope of fixing this life, though not necessarily fight or flight. But I generally do not feel well and haven't for momths.
 
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J

Journeytoletgo

Broken and hated 7-14 years long overdue
May 14, 2018
1,608
Yes! This is why I stay away from people
 
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B

Beeper

Experienced
Sep 28, 2021
227
I feel that my stress response system is easily triggered.

It can be something simple, like memory of past trauma or social interactions with a group of people.

Even thinking about the future causes me stress. I think this is a combination of unstable past and fear of the unknown in the future.

Having my chosen CTB method available is somewhat calming. I look forward to a relatively peaceful exit from this existence.
 
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bed

bed

CTBed
Aug 24, 2019
919
Yup, I get panic attacks very frequently because of being in this state. Anxiety is a big reason for me wanting to ctb. I just feel paralyzed all the time.
 
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F

facel

No good deed goes unpunished
Aug 23, 2021
46
Yes, mine is. On constant alert, anxious and hyperacuity. It's exhausting and dysfunctional.
 
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Chronicillness

Chronicillness

Experienced
Jun 19, 2018
236
I've been in fight or flight for years. I wake up in fight or flight, and go to sleep in fight or flight. It's not full-blown panic 24/7, as that would be physically unsustainable, and surely you'd die from excited delirium if you had a panic attack that perpetuated itself during all hours of conscious life, but I am in a moderate state of fear/fight/flight/freeze everyday, and have been ever since I seriously injured my cervical spine.

The worst part of fight or flight for me is the gruesome and violent thoughts that accompany it. When I am in fight or flight, I tend to think of people skinning me alive all the while I am hooked up to an IV of adrenaline and other molecules that stimulate resistance against shock and other protective responses that would make me unconscious so I wouldn't have to be conscious for the unconscionable torture.

I got caught in a web of truly demented thinking this morning, because of my fight or flight. I spent hours entrapped in my head deeply visualizing and bringing life to thoughts of how it's within the realm of possibility that some demonic being could keep me alive forever with some sort of unrealized technology that could be employed on me for the sole purpose of keeping me alive in a literal torture chamber for an infinite amount of time, so they can do human experimentation on me, heal me, then do the process all over again for billions of years.

Idk how anyone functions in society, tbh. I've completely lost the plot. I am scared of everyone and everything.
 
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OpheliasFlowers

OpheliasFlowers

Specialist
Apr 2, 2019
348
I have basically been in a state of fight/flight, constant high anxiety for years now. Mine manifests by, from the moment I wake up from sleeping (doesn't matter how long I sleep or at what time of day. I can't sleep for longer stretches than 90 min -2 hours at a time anyway) with an intense sense of dread and impending doom, jitteriness, sweating, and oftentimes nauseous as well. Then all of that might settle down a bit but I all day long I still feel shaky/jittery to some degree and like all my muscles are pulled TIGHT like a quivering wire (I especially feel this in my thighs and arms), and I have frequent palpitations and a constant fluttery feeling in my chest, stomach upset/nausea, my body temperature seems crazy like I'll feel cold but be dripping sweat or my skin will feel icy to the touch, and I feel so so SO very drained and exhausted all the time. I simply CANNOT relax no matter what I try, or take such as meds or teas or supplements. When I'm super anxious I'll start feeling disassociation, and like the floor is 'bouncy' to walk on (that's the only way I can find to describe it) and my eyes don't seem to focus well. Living like this for as long as I have is a nightmare. Even benzos have never helped much, although I've never been on *that* high a dose either although I've been on different ones for a number of years. Currently Klonopin which does nothing, really. This hyperanxious state only adds to my desire to CTB on top of my many physical illnesses and ailments. I wish I could feel even half as relaxed as I remember being when I was a very little kid, before the reality of life hit me and I turned into an always worried, always scared kid around 6 or 7 (bad homelife, lots of tension) and it's been all downhill from there.
 
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Dot

Dot

Info abt typng styl on prfle.
Sep 26, 2021
3,252
Nt sure if cld hlp n.e1 bt Irene Lyon hs vids on how 2 train nervs systm 2 calm & heal anxiety/ releas trauma etc. Courses etv availabl. MyB wrth a watch


 
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Bot

Bot

bpd is ruining my life
Aug 8, 2021
70
me too, i sweat easily, shaking, anxiety, and my body burns so much energy all the time im so skinny, it sucks badly, my heart goes out to you all:heart:
 
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BitterlyAlive_

BitterlyAlive_

-
Dec 8, 2020
2,394
It's incredibly, incredibly difficult to relax even in the very few areas where I feel safe. My body seems to always be tense, on edge. I'm just waiting for a fight or something to happen, all the time.
 
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S

sickoffighting

Member
Apr 15, 2021
5
I wake up everyday and I don't want to be here, my anxiety destroyed my life, my ocd destroyed my brain and all my personality disorders made me so unhappy, my mum died when I was 18 and I wanted to go with her, every time I tried someone woke me back up…why couldn't they understand I didn't wanna be woken up…I suffer everyday
 
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H

Hateyouprolife

Survivalist
Sep 4, 2021
169
I wake up everyday and I don't want to be here, my anxiety destroyed my life, my ocd destroyed my brain and all my personality disorders made me so unhappy, my mum died when I was 18 and I wanted to go with her, every time I tried someone woke me back up…why couldn't they understand I didn't wanna be woken up…I suffer everyday
Im sorry you have to suffer this much. Hope you find peace either on this side or other side. If you someday wanna just talk you can always PM.
 
tryingtoescape

tryingtoescape

Experienced
Dec 30, 2019
213
I've been in fight or flight for years. I wake up in fight or flight, and go to sleep in fight or flight. It's not full-blown panic 24/7, as that would be physically unsustainable, and surely you'd die from excited delirium if you had a panic attack that perpetuated itself during all hours of conscious life, but I am in a moderate state of fear/fight/flight/freeze everyday, and have been ever since I seriously injured my cervical spine.

The worst part of fight or flight for me is the gruesome and violent thoughts that accompany it. When I am in fight or flight, I tend to think of people skinning me alive all the while I am hooked up to an IV of adrenaline and other molecules that stimulate resistance against shock and other protective responses that would make me unconscious so I wouldn't have to be conscious for the unconscionable torture.

I got caught in a web of truly demented thinking this morning, because of my fight or flight. I spent hours entrapped in my head deeply visualizing and bringing life to thoughts of how it's within the realm of possibility that some demonic being could keep me alive forever with some sort of unrealized technology that could be employed on me for the sole purpose of keeping me alive in a literal torture chamber for an infinite amount of time, so they can do human experimentation on me, heal me, then do the process all over again for billions of years.

Idk how anyone functions in society, tbh. I've completely lost the plot. I am scared of everyone and everything.
I have the horrific violent fears during the fight or flight too, I'm surprised to see someone else who experiences this often. Even down to the torture scenario of being skinned alive/hooked up to adrenaline, after accidentally reading about a horrifically disturbing video online once where that occurs. I haven't seen it, I was so terrified of seeing it that I was covering my screen while reading about it in case it popped up. But just the description alone made me so nauseous and it has entered my mind since during severe panic. As well as images of being tortured in other ways that people have died, like being burnt alive, trapped in a small tight space for days on end in the dark, the human experimentation fear you have, other horrific things I can't even type because it scares me so much. It terrifies me and I feel like I'm trapped in a space with the walls closing in and I can't get out when these thoughts play in my mind. The most sickening, horrifying things. I imagine how they must've felt, how there is nothing I can do. It disturbs me that these things have happened to other people and they are "allowed" to happen, possible. It feels like I'm going insane just knowing these things.

I'm in constant fight or flight and I experience unbearable fear and paranoia. The thoughts disturb me so much that sometimes it feels physically painful and uncomfortable to not be able to make them stop. I get nauseous and have thrown up. Even in sleep, the fears come in the form of nightmares. The only times I have felt relief from it is a large dose of Clonazepam or Ketamine for PTSD which was temporary. But it made me wonder if that's how normal people feel all the time and I felt so sad that I feel like this 24/7. I am scared of everyone and everything too.
 
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littlelungs

littlelungs

Wizard
Oct 21, 2018
646
Yep. It's just one of the many side effects of my PTSD. My body is in constant alert mode; a ghost frozen in time, unable to distinguish between then and now.
 
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tryingtoescape

tryingtoescape

Experienced
Dec 30, 2019
213
Yep. It's just one of the many side effects of my PTSD. My body is in constant alert mode; a ghost frozen in time, unable to distinguish between then and now.
Yes, I feel like I am still "there" and in danger.
 
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Hans Voralberg

Hans Voralberg

Experienced
Nov 6, 2021
229
I have constant fear coded in my flesh it's not feeling from mind but from my body. I was axious all day today and had to fight to make all paper work and classes even if my body felt it like it was at highest distress. It's awful state. I hate that feeling so much. My mom thinks I am unfocus but in reality I just feel fear trapped in my body. I so desperately look for inner peace but even breathing exercises help only temporary. Sometimes I have this feeling 3 days in a row. This is nightmare for me.
 
jimmy7754

jimmy7754

I just want to be myself again
Dec 15, 2021
508
PTSD is going to eat me alive.
 

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