thouxan
Member
- Mar 16, 2023
- 73
This world is horrible in so many ways. So much suffering. I would know, I am ugly, gay, I have autism, ocd, anxiety and possibly even more disorders that I can't be bothered to research and diagnose myself with. My entire life has been a constant suffering, my brain simply works differently from other people, I could never truly fit in and experience the things others did.
The only thing I kinda feel sad about nowadays as I lay alone in my bed is how different, how much better my life would have been if I was dealt better cards from the beginning. I was doomed to suffer no matter what because of my genetics and the way my brain was wired. But if I was good looking, with a normal and healthy mind, I would have so much potential. I don't even mind being gay, I have completely accepted it at this point and it's not bad at all compared to everything else that is wrong with me.
I am just imagining how easy everything would be if I was an attractive, mentally healthy and social person. I would have absolutely no trouble finding friends or romantic partners, they would come to me without having to try. I would be able to go out, do fun things and spend time with people that I like whenever I wanted, instead of being shut in my room. I would be able to enjoy hobbies and have something to work towards. I would be able to have casual sex or enter a relationship whenever I wanted. I would be able to enjoy my youth to the fullest and create beautiful memories that would fuel me for the rest of my life, even as I started to age and walked closer to death. People other than my family would actually care about me.
Even the happiest people with the best lives still experience some hardships of course. They deal with heartbreak, rejection, betrayal, losing loved ones, failing at their goals, becoming sick etc. But if your life is otherwise enjoyable, all of that shit is so much easier to deal with. I truly believe that despite all the suffering in this life, life is still worth it unless you are very unfortunate with the cards you were dealt like me and everyone else on this forum.
Imagine being in the position of a pro-lifer, whose life has been completely normal, without any hardships like the ones we experience. Of course you won't understand why people are truly suicidal, unless you have been in this insanely desperate position yourself. I am not talking about people who become suicidal after a breakup, losing money or the death of a loved one. I am talking TRULY suicidal, people like us who have desperately tried everything to cling onto life even though there was never hope to begin with.
So yeah, obviously no one knows what happens after death, this whole existence thing is so trippy and I don't even know if this is all a dream. But I wish I could just reincarnate into the body of a baby who grows up to be the average hot guy of the school. If I was in that position, obviously I would love my life and I would consider suicidal people completely delusional and insane, and that they can be saved lol. It's so unfair how differently you are treated by society based on things you can't control.
The only thing I kinda feel sad about nowadays as I lay alone in my bed is how different, how much better my life would have been if I was dealt better cards from the beginning. I was doomed to suffer no matter what because of my genetics and the way my brain was wired. But if I was good looking, with a normal and healthy mind, I would have so much potential. I don't even mind being gay, I have completely accepted it at this point and it's not bad at all compared to everything else that is wrong with me.
I am just imagining how easy everything would be if I was an attractive, mentally healthy and social person. I would have absolutely no trouble finding friends or romantic partners, they would come to me without having to try. I would be able to go out, do fun things and spend time with people that I like whenever I wanted, instead of being shut in my room. I would be able to enjoy hobbies and have something to work towards. I would be able to have casual sex or enter a relationship whenever I wanted. I would be able to enjoy my youth to the fullest and create beautiful memories that would fuel me for the rest of my life, even as I started to age and walked closer to death. People other than my family would actually care about me.
Even the happiest people with the best lives still experience some hardships of course. They deal with heartbreak, rejection, betrayal, losing loved ones, failing at their goals, becoming sick etc. But if your life is otherwise enjoyable, all of that shit is so much easier to deal with. I truly believe that despite all the suffering in this life, life is still worth it unless you are very unfortunate with the cards you were dealt like me and everyone else on this forum.
Imagine being in the position of a pro-lifer, whose life has been completely normal, without any hardships like the ones we experience. Of course you won't understand why people are truly suicidal, unless you have been in this insanely desperate position yourself. I am not talking about people who become suicidal after a breakup, losing money or the death of a loved one. I am talking TRULY suicidal, people like us who have desperately tried everything to cling onto life even though there was never hope to begin with.
So yeah, obviously no one knows what happens after death, this whole existence thing is so trippy and I don't even know if this is all a dream. But I wish I could just reincarnate into the body of a baby who grows up to be the average hot guy of the school. If I was in that position, obviously I would love my life and I would consider suicidal people completely delusional and insane, and that they can be saved lol. It's so unfair how differently you are treated by society based on things you can't control.
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