Discussion Anyone who has 'a third gender?'

[Blue Rose]

In SS, I could meet some transmen or transwomen. Suddenly I wondered how many people who have a third gender are in this forum.

Before going on, I am going to define the word 'A third gender'.
Regardless what your physical sex is, if you can't explain your gender with the word 'Man' or 'Woman' only, you have a third gender.

Here, I will give some example of that. If you feel you have a third gender,
It might be better for you to search some related concept on GooGle, or other search engines of your country.
Especially you are in trouble and surrounded by unfavourable conditions, it might be better for yourself to get your diagnosis as soon as possible.

Androgyne - Regardless what their physical sex is, they consider themselves as Both a man And a woman at Once. So they have a third gender.
Bigender - Regardless what their physical sex is, they consider themselves as Either a man Sometimes Or a woman Sometimes. So they have a third gender.
Agender - Regardless what their physical sex is, they consider themselves as Neither a man, Nor a woman Always. So they have a third gender.


I am an androgyne. I had been diagnosed with Gender Incongruence(In those days, it was Gender Identity Disorder) in about 2012.
Having taken some treatments, I realised that I had felt myself as both a man and a woman at once.
Then I got rid of my breasts and took testosterone for some years. Of course, I was satisfied totally, then I could overcome my gender dysphoria so.
Gender dysphoria made myself Crazy and hurt literally, surely it can be one of major reasons of CTB.

Anyway having taken testosterone, I learnt how to shave my face, took some harsh jobs for males only with men also.
At my work places, Nobody knew this amazing truth. Even though they thought I was feminine somewhat
And they teased me without any malice about my appearance.

Recently in my country, I met a doctor in Psychology, who had a third gender like myself. They(The doctor) married a partner and had a son.
But they looked very miserable. they told me that they had been Never empathised with other, even their partner.
They were too depressed to raise their son. After having parted with them, I imagined them, and their son's future for a long time.

Yes, I can relate them. Especially in my land, I was always treated as a man or a woman only.
Even if I could understand people who had treated myself so, surely this world is too harsh to those who have a third gender.
Hereafter, I could meet some people more, all they looked miserable too.
They used to feel a sense of alienation from this world and their closed family and friends.

I wanted to share my story with members who have a third gender, in SS.
How about your story? Regardless what your gender is, I would like to listen to various stories for now.

+ Gender issues can be a major reason of CTB of course. I wish you would not blame yourself for your gender. You are not alone.

+ 2 / If you meet a person who has a third gender, You don't have to be too anxious. Please just respect them. Please do not judge or blame them.
If you have any question, it will be good for yourself and them, to ask them politely with your unbiased mind.

+ 3 / In my case, Please call me Whatever you Want. I Won't care at all.

 

[Life_and_Death]

im not sure if this counts but,

to start with if someone asks ill say im a female and i guess i feel comfortable with it. thats kind of where the problem comes in. i just dont think about it. it doesnt mean anything to me. which brings me to last night, i was talking to my friend and i basically said i hate all this bs. which he came back with "i get it, you hate labels" and so because of this i have spent the whole day saying "im me" i dont have and am not anything. im me and i like it that way :)

 

[WornOutLife]

im not sure if this counts but,

to start with if someone asks ill say im a female and i guess i feel comfortable with it. thats kind of where the problem comes in. i just dont think about it. it doesnt mean anything to me. which brings me to last night, i was talking to my friend and i basically said i hate all this bs. which he came back with "i get it, you hate labels" and so because of this i have spend the whole day saying "im me" i dont have and am not anything. im me and i like it that way :)

When people tell me things like "I am me" I love it! That's the way everybody should think!

 

[Life_and_Death]

When people tell me things like "I am me" I love it! That's the way everybody should think!

its like i told my friend last night. theres just so many different things to call people. and everyones just suppose to know but how can one really know when theres so many. and i get pissed off because ill overwork so i dont offend them because i wont mean to but if i know nothing how am i not suppose to. the whole situations frustrating so im just me.

 

[CatabolicSeed]

I think the term you are looking for is "nonbinary" (which I am!)

 

[stygal]

It's great that society is finally expanding its view on gender and identity and it's getting more and more recognized that there are things that are beyond the three biological sexes (which I thought you were referring to at first - the third sex is intersex).
Everyone is unique and might feel a little different when it comes to their relationship with their body and their cultural/societal beliefs or even disregard of them. And I 100 percent respect that and would never try to convince anyone to be/act like me just because we share the same sex.

My personal stance and own gender (or the way I feel about it) is kind of hard to explain. Growing up in an open-minded household as an only child and visiting a "hippie like" kindergarten where nobody gave a shit about each other's gender and toys/clothes were frequently swapped and shared made me feel just like a "person" not like a girl necessarily - I wore one dress I liked but I've seen lots of boys wear them too, so that wasn't a real criteria.
Then in school the societal pressure made me "dislike" boys and hang out with mostly girls while also wearing only clothes specifically for girls. That phase definitely was one of the most defining in my life as I tried so desperately to fit in.
Later on I came to terms with my bi sexuality as well and yet again I felt like I didn't belong in either group - boys (who were so different in my eyes) or girls (whom I could relate to more but not enough).
Until this day I act neither very feminine or masculine but always kind of neutral. Even though I still like the stylistic freedom you got as a woman without people judging you a lot and that women tend to be not as dominant or harsh or even hormonally driven in some decisions (in relationship aspects) - which all applies to me.
I wouldn't really define myself as non-binary maybe because it's enough for me to know internally that I don't belong anywhere or maybe because like I said I still like some parts of being a woman.

 

[Life_and_Death]

I think the term you are looking for is "nombinary" (which I am!)

Me? No. I'm just me. Like my friend said, I hate labels. I tried considering myself nonbinary as that was the closest definition I could find to the feeling but.... It didn't feel right either so I'm just me.

Edit: the idea behind "I'm just me" is just that. I don't have a gender. I don't have a sexuality. I don't have and am not anything. I'm just me. I act the way I act. I feel the way I feel. I am the way I am. And that's me. Does this mean I don't have mental problems, no. That just falls under me because just like every other person alive I am the way I am because of surrounding/upbringing/personailty/ect. I completely reject putting a name to anything. I'm me. However for the sake of recovery and all that good stuff I kind of have to put names to my disorders so I know what I'm dealing with, but other then that, I'm just me.

I hope that makes sense.

 

[CatabolicSeed]

Me? No. I'm just me. Like my friend said, I hate labels. I tried considering myself nonbinary as that was the closest definition I could find to the feeling but.... It didn't feel right either so I'm just me.

Oh no I meant OP, sorry

 

[Blue Rose]

I think the term you are looking for is "nonbinary" (which I am!)

Thanks! I could not recall it in those days. Yes, I am a nonbinary.

 

[Ihavenofriends]

I have gender dysphoria, but I still consider myself a woman. Not really feeling "like I'm in the wrong body," but more deeply wanting to be a man. I'm not going to try to socially or medically transition, though - in my experience, affirmation only makes the dysphoria worse, and I know I'd only ever be happy if I was a cis man, not a trans man. I can't win. There's a lot of reasons why I'm going to ctb, this is one of them.

 

[End Game]

I have gender dysphoria, but I still consider myself a woman. Not really feeling "like I'm in the wrong body," but more deeply wanting to be a man. I'm not going to try to socially or medically transition, though - in my experience, affirmation only makes the dysphoria worse, and I know I'd only ever be happy if I was a cis man, not a trans man. I can't win. There's a lot of reasons why I'm going to ctb, this is one of them.

I feel the same way, except I am a man who always wanted to be a woman. Started feeling this way at a very young age, before kindergarten age. It is difficult to deal with the feelings of anxiety and depression. It has taken different forms throughout my life, but it is always there. I agree about living as trans, just not the same. So much damage is already done to me, going way back, as I didn't quite fit in. Wishing for the pain to stop...

 

[Neowise]

I guess one could call me non-binary since my behaviour is neither typical male nor female. However, I prefer the term "I do not identify with either the typical male or female stereotypes defined by society" (such as: women like pink and horses, men like beer and sports etc.).

As someone said above, I don't want to be labelled. I am just me, why does my gender play a role? I never understood what's so important about it.

 

[Rn110bg101]

I've changed my gender label so many times, at this point I don't even want a label anymore. This stuff is too complicated… GG to everyone who has figured it out

 

[TriggerHappy]

hiya: am one of those gay males who's definitely male... however grew up in the homophobic AIDS decades so have stax of stuff to sort out. My friends were 'gender benders' back in the day before trans was so open and 'trendy' when even gay men avoided drag queens at the club (eeeugh. we all have stuff to be accountable for...) i guess i live by the tribal notion (don't fit into alternative / queer / alien existence exactly - like that tho blame RAVE culture for starting it all...loved that.)
My point is that it hurts when people hate and discriminate - in my country (South Africa - with the most advanced constitution in the world): we have something called 'corrective rape' where raping a gender-fluid girl isn't enough; inserting a beer bottle inside afterward and smashing it is how some bigots make their point. Never stop fighting: my friends and I have been queer bashed so many times the word 'tolerance' has a temporary ring to it. I guess race- equality is more important than gender equality..?
<<Realise I'm tripping a bit - so thanks for the thread and making me think / remember!!>>

Guess we all have some inner shame to work through...
A reminder from Sylvia Rivera (she was HATED by the gay community in New York) right up there with Ziggy Stardust. Enjoy. xm

 

[fishtacos4me]

I am male and female. Technically a transman, assigned female at birth and went through gender reassignment years ago. Since I lived half my life as a lesbian, I still often feel that way. I was socialized as a girl when I was a child, so naturally I have some feminine qualities. I look like an average guy and no one who sees me could guess I was trans, but I gave birth to my daughter (who is a transwoman - she was designated male at birth).
I don't fit in with men. I don't fit in with women. I don't fit in with the LGBT folks, regardless of the T. I feel like the Ls and Gs don't usually want the Bs and Ts attached to them. I don't even fit in with other transfolk because I admit that I feel male and female and that's a no no. Transfolk have been under so much pressure to be ABSOLUTELY one way or the other to get through all the medical hoops. While some people do feel absolutely male or absolutely female that isn't true for many of us but if we admit it, some doc somewhere would stop our transitions.
While I feel both male and female, I felt horrible in a feminine body. I would have CTB long ago if I hadn't been able to transition. I could not have kept living in that body anymore.