Venting Anyone up to talking?

[Thorn]

I guess self harm is a somehow fitting analogy. If you don't really enjoy hurting yourself, but it helps you feel something, just like blacking out your mind to stop the chaos..

That may very well be. But with my luck in life, I have not had a need to cut myself. I have so many scars to remind me not to move a finger. Not the first human puzzle, and far from the worst, but it did effectively end me as a human being. That I did not do to myself. The years ahead, however, I pierced my eye with a steel wire, landed an axe on my head, set myself on fire, burned a hole in my stomach with a red hot steel, and as far as cutting goes. I should only use plastic spoons and knives. But probably I could get down to the bone with those too.

I have had a while to train my mind, and it will never get where I would like it to be, but it is useful, when I find myself in that moment.

 

[slickOne]

Sorry to hear all of that. Being able to survive in that moment becomes really crutual. The thing I ask myself is, if one doesn't really want to be able, why does he still do so much to stay sane and not just give in to all of that

 

[Thorn]

There are always reasons to fight, however, the way human brain is wired, it makes these blind spots like black holes in the Universe, if you get too close, they will suck you in, instead of saving. Also, the people with greater depth of thought suffer more, and give up because the relief is not coming. And that other thing, the "relief" is something personal, different for everyone. This is why psychiatry does not work, they are like an assembly line with 100 brands of pills, everyone the same.
There is so much more to a human being than just their words they speak, but most doctors won't go much further.

 

[slickOne]

Let's hope our end comes the way we want to it to be, or at least hope, including some sort of relief or not. "there is so much more to a human being than just their words" - it makes me think of things outside ourselves that influence us. I've never really wanted to fully try to commit to the idea of recovery due to a fear connected to that - we could work on fixing ourselves but some shit we can't influence might fuck everything up way beyond fixing. Imagine being on recovery and getting shot the first week of actually feeling decent or similar stuff.

 

[devil]

@slickOne @Renewal i'm super lost in this conversation, i'm just now reading it

 

[slickOne]

it was somehow thought provoking

 

[Thorn]

Let's hope our end comes the way we want to it to be, or at least hope, including some sort of relief or not. "there is so much more to a human being than just their words" - it makes me think of things outside ourselves that influence us. I've never really wanted to fully try to commit to the idea of recovery due to a fear connected to that - we could work on fixing ourselves but some shit we can't influence might fuck everything up way beyond fixing. Imagine being on recovery and getting shot the first week of actually feeling decent or similar stuff.

The outside influence in my experience is not focused on fixing anyone or anything. It has been more about maintenance.
Either you control the environment, or the environment controls you.
And your last sentence is a Déjà vu. I have seen something similar happen, in life.
We need a memory eraser.

 

[vulturecyclop]

i'd like to talk to someone too im feeling very trapped and miserable and worthless

If you need anyone to talk to, you can PM me. I also have discord. Hang in there, I know very well how you must feel...

 

[slickOne]

We could really use one. It could really make up for a lot of things. Ever read the novel "Slated"?

 

[Thorn]

Sadly, no. Some decades back, I finished my Erle Stanley Gardner series, then came the computers, and I was cursed. I bought books that still sit in the boxes somewhere, unopened. After I started taking stuff the good doctor prescribed me, I suddenly need glasses to read. Ain't that great. But the meds themselves do blank things out. Like where I put my keys, what year is it, how old I am, and so on. So they DO work, but hey... Forgot what I was about to type.

 

[Deardaddy]

I'm open to help . Ok pm me. I live in the s.e.a part of the world

 

[RM5998]

You can drop me a line whenever you feel like it, and talk about whatever you want to. Statuary warning - I'm not good at responding instantly, or finding the right words when I do.

 

[gentleflower]

I am always open to chat/write with whoever just wants to about nothing or everything. So whoever wants to is always free to contact me. I am usually pretty good at answering quickly too

 

[Shamana]

Have you tried calling an ananomys suicide hotline? Sometimes there is a really nice person on the other end of the phone and they won't call the police if you are expressing suicidal thoughts.

 

[Xaphous]

Yeah I have zero people Irl and 1 person online to talk with. Wouldn't mind talking, preferably with female.

 

[salibu]

Yeah I have zero people Irl and 1 person online to talk with. Wouldn't mind talking, preferably with female.

Hey I'm happy to talk :)

 

[pole]

If anyone needs someone to talk to, i'm all ears.

 

[salibu]

If anyone needs someone to talk to, i'm all ears.

Great hair btw. Jealous.

 

[pole]

Great hair btw. Jealous.

Curly hair >>>

 

[salibu]

Curly hair >>>

It's lovely! ;)

 

[devil]

Have you tried calling an ananomys suicide hotline? Sometimes there is a really nice person on the other end of the phone and they won't call the police if you are expressing suicidal thoughts.

I've never called one before ...

 

[sadgirl2002]

I'm here if you ever need to talk to me. Hugs

 

[devil]

I'm here if you ever need to talk to me. Hugs

Thank you