Discussion Anyone that was a happy normal person before with a great life and never thought of suicide once? What went wrong?

[happysunnydayy]

I was born messed up but I was wondering if normal people can also be suicidal who look so happy and positive all the time and don't understand why people ctb

 

[bananaolympus]

I was happy until 19 when my ocd, depression and anxiety started i don't know what triggered i had a cold and a week or so all kicked in

 

[hereornot]

In my case, I lived well until 12 years Ago, when I was 30. Until my BPD mother fell into my life, sick, and my brother jumped ship from his responsibility as a son.

I went bankrupt keeping my mother alive, who also ruined my mental health.

I lost my father years later and today I am reaching the end to put an end to the torment that my brother causes in my life.

There were other situations and people that contributed, that made me lose hope or the will to continue in this world.

The final push came from my brother.

 

[citrusrope]

Was okay as a kid I think, but then got a couple of health issues that really took its toll on me socially which seriously changed how I looked at things/perceived things. I feel silly though, because it wasn't even anything close to what people would think of as a serious health condition or anything like that, so maybe I'm just sensitive.

 

[happysunnydayy]

I was happy until 19 when my ocd, depression and anxiety started i don't know what triggered i had a cold and a week or so all kicked in

Did you get help for it?

In my case, I lived well until 12 years Ago, when I was 30. Until my BPD mother fell into my life, sick, and my brother jumped ship from his responsibility as a son.

I went bankrupt keeping my mother alive, who also ruined my mental health.

I lost my father years later and today I am reaching the end to put an end to the torment that my brother causes in my life.

There were other situations and people that contributed, that made me lose hope or the will to continue in this world.

The final push came from my brother.

Before did you not relate to the suicidal people ?

 

[SufferingInDenmark]

alcoholic dad since i was born didn't give me a good start, but i felt ok until 18 where i got jumped and developed epilepsy
from the brain damage, from the attack.
and a lot more things that happened

 

[jay_y]

I wasn't necessarily happy before, I was pretty depressed because of my sensitivity, but I had many things I wanted to do and had things to live for(my dear mother). But I got struck with brain damage from psych meds and got one of the rarest diseases in the world, and on top of that I have the most severe form. It is incurable, causing unberable pain from involuntary sustained muscle contractions. I am losing my mind with each day that passes, I am becoming a monster. I am sorry to my mother that the only daughter she had, the daughter she raised alone, struggling, had to be the most unlucky person in the world. Our life is a complete tragedy and a nightmare no one can imagine. The most horror fate someone can have, being left alone by doctors who don't belive you, abandoned by friends, hated by family. Even my mother will never forgive me. I don't know what will happen to my soul. I don't want to die, but what else can I do, because I'm already losing my mind, I will soon not be able to feed myself and go to the bathroom. I already traumatised mom with my agressive self and morbid things that I say because I have no control anymore. All because of the unbearable pain.
I'm sorry that we can't be happy together anymore in this world, I look at old photos of us and Im just destroyed. I don't even know if there's another world. Probably it won't, or if there is one we be won't be aware. Or I will be punished for the harm I am doing to her. So what's the point if there is nothing anymore. I really really don't want to die and I'm afraid of God but what can I do???

 

[happysunnydayy]

Psych medicines can give people permanent brain damage? What are you suffering from does it have a name?

 

[outrider567]

I was born messed up but I was wondering if normal people can also be suicidal who look so happy and positive all the time and don't understand why people ctb

I was normal, quite happy, all the way to age 67--Then my girlfriend of 35 years suddenly died, and nothing about life mattered to me anymore

 

[deadbidaylight]

I honestly don't even know what happened to me. The only thing that makes sense is that I inherited the mental health issues from my dad because we both suffer the same.

I remember I was completely fine until my early teens and then I struggled with emotional self regulation, which is normal for preteens and teens. But I've been suffering off and on ever since.

I realistically have no reason for feeling the way I do. I had a great childhood, have an awesome relationship with both my parents, and I have a family of my own with a roof over our heads. I have a life that a lot of people would want. Still doesn't fix the war inside my head though.

 

[happysunnydayy]

I was normal, quite happy, all the way to age 67--Then my girlfriend of 35 years suddenly died, and nothing about life mattered to me anymore

But that's an achievement on its own. 67 years worth of happiness.

Most of us are miserable since day one

I honestly don't even know what happened to me. The only thing that makes sense is that I inherited the mental health issues from my dad because we both suffer the same.

I remember I was completely fine until my early teens and then I struggled with emotional self regulation, which is normal for preteens and teens. But I've been suffering off and on ever since.

I realistically have no reason for feeling the way I do. I had a great childhood, have an awesome relationship with both my parents, and I have a family of my own with a roof over our heads. I have a life that a lot of people would want. Still doesn't fix the war inside my head though.

What mental illness do you have? If you don't mind me asking

 

[bigsad123]

I was a relatively happy kid until I turned 20, although I was always quite lonely but it didn't bother me that much back then.

 

[worthless creature]

it was around when i was 14, my mother is not a very good person. i feel like an imposter. when i transitioned, my family supported me, my friends supported me, i have good people in my life. but i still feel so alone and empty. i had a partner that made things a lot better, but that has gone as every relationship does for me.
but to be honest even before everything, i was always really empty and alone, even as a kid. nothing really brought me joy. i didnt really play with toys, with other kids, or cried my parents say.

 

[HighwayToRockBottom]

It came to me so gradually that I dont even now how or when it started. I used to be a really happy child, but i guess life just said nu-uh and decided to make me feel like shit.

 

[bananaolympus]

Did you get help for it?

Yes i did

 

[KillingPain267]

Divorce, divorce is what went wrong. I know, stupid, but it destroyed my mind literally.

 

[happysunnydayy]

It came to me so gradually that I dont even now how or when it started. I used to be a really happy child, but i guess life just said nu-uh and decided to make me feel like shit.

Your life is good otherwise?

 

[marabellasol]

I'm not even sure, I remember getting really drunk one time then things just falling apart, then things becoming better over a year and now 9 months later i'm back here

 

[WhatCouldHaveBeen32]

I was happy until 9-10 years old and then trauma surfaced and I couldn't do anything about it and it just kept coming and pouring and here I am now.

 

[Apokryphiel]

It dates back to when I was a kid, or even when I was born, really. I guess I just never truly understood what was happening to me, or maybe it just didn't mean anything at the time. It was all I'd ever known, after all. I ended up in a vegetative state for most of my teen years - being a person was more than I could bear at the time. Years passed without me ever using my voice, which led to me developing a speech impediment. I only ate the bare minimum to survive; the rest of the time was spent asleep, wishing for God to take me away. My body is sure as hell paying dearly for that now. One day, around the age of 18, I woke up and realized I was a completely different person. The difference between then and now is that I gave up back then, I was perfectly willing to die the same way I've lived. Now, I will fight for any final scraps of happiness while I still can, anything I can look back on in the end with a smile, even if it means killing myself.

 

[Failure21]

I don't know if I was ever truly normal but a few years ago life seemed so much better than how it is now.

Things weren't amazing then. I was constantly stressed and tired but I wasn't completely miserable. I had friends, a job I liked even if it didn't pay particularly well, I was healthy and I felt like I had a future because I was graduating college with a degree that I worked my ass off for. Now all my friends hate me and have blocked me with no way for me to reconnect, I'm working at miserable dead end job that I hate, I'm in constant pain and I have no hope of ever changing things. It's incredible how much I want to go back in time just a few years ago to when things were moderately less shitty.

 

[-nobodyknows-]

I don't know when or how it happened. I don't know if it was slow, or sudden. But something broke inside me. I don't know what it is.

 

[Batman2nd]

I honestly don't even know what happened to me. The only thing that makes sense is that I inherited the mental health issues from my dad because we both suffer the same.

I remember I was completely fine until my early teens and then I struggled with emotional self regulation, which is normal for preteens and teens. But I've been suffering off and on ever since.

I realistically have no reason for feeling the way I do. I had a great childhood, have an awesome relationship with both my parents, and I have a family of my own with a roof over our heads. I have a life that a lot of people would want. Still doesn't fix the war inside my head though.

I was normal, quite happy, all the way to age 67--Then my girlfriend of 35 years suddenly died, and nothing about life mattered to me anymore

You have my sincere sympathy. I'm 60 and my true love died seven months ago. I have known him since I was 14 years old. I was quite happy and now I just want to die. For all of us in pain no matter the cause or reason, it is unrelenting torture.

 

[sunnyside]

I was happy until 19 when my ocd, depression and anxiety started i don't know what triggered i had a cold and a week or so all kicked in

Idk how old you are but is it possible that the cold was actually covid. I've heard from quite a lot of people that covid triggered / made mental problems worse.

 

[needthebus]

I had a difficult childhood and teenage years because I had controlling parents, had effeminate tendencies even as a kid, and I think my parents resented me for it, although they never said it. In many ways, my youth was typical of other gay kids not from supportive families or communities: conflict, problems, etc.

However, around the time I was 17-18, I started hanging out with other gay people and for a brief period, very brief, I was happy. I had been suicidal before this, but there was a brief period in which I wasn't suicidal.

There was this point when I thought things were going to be okay.

And then a bunch of awful things happened to me in a row, including sexual violence. After the sexual violence, I didn't really date the same way or have normal experiences the same way.

And since then everything is awful. I think if I had never been the victim of sexual violence, perhaps I would have escaped my controlling mean family and escaped homophobia and escaped my difficult background... And become something and been happy. But I didn't... Here I am now.

 

[bananaolympus]

Idk how old you are but is it possible that the cold was actually covid. I've heard from quite a lot of people that covid triggered / made mental problems worse.

no that was a decade ago im nearly 30

 

[NoMoreSanity]

I found philosophy called antinatlaism back in the height of covid by accident. It made sense. To much sense, even to an optimist like me( at the time ). Now I suffer from depression and constant exstistential anxiety. I've become so hateful of life, of humanity, of everything. This isn't who I was. Nowadays I just want to watch the world burn, hate and sadness is all I really feel anymore. It's sounds edgy and stupid but it's unfortunately the truth.

 

[happysunnydayy]

I found philosophy called antinatlaism back in the height of covid by accident. It made sense. To much sense, even to an optimist like me( at the time ). Now I suffer from depression and constant exstistential anxiety. I've become so hateful of life, of humanity, of everything. This isn't who I was. Nowadays I just want to watch the world burn, hate and sadness is all I really feel anymore. It's sounds edgy and stupid but it's unfortunately the truth.

Am an antinatalist too. It's not worth bringing someone into this hellhole

 

[NoMoreSanity]

Am an antinatalist too. It's not worth bringing someone into this hellhole

Yes. And with that knowledge brings great misery. I hate when other antinatlaists tell me that you can still be happy as one. I don't believe so. It's a silly idea

 

[HighwayToRockBottom]

Your life is good otherwise?

I guess yeah. I've got a parent, friends, a roof over my head and I live in a great country. I don't really have a reason to feel the things I do, and so many people have it worse than me. So I try my best not to complain cause I have things that some people dream about.