Help Anyone on the autism spectrum?

[ladolcemorte]

Had a conversation with my counselor. She has done all this research on women on the autism spectrum. Apparently autism manifests differently in women than in men, and it is underdiagnosed, often mistaken for other things like BPD, bipolar, anxiety disorders, etc.

She suggested the my problem all these years was misdiagnosis, and that she can help with autism. She's selling this whole scenario as hope, and I'm not sure I can buy it.

Anyone else on the autism spectrum? Is there treatment that actually helps??

 

[GrumpyFrog]

Anyone else on the autism spectrum? Is there treatment that actually helps??

I'm on a spectrum as well. As far as I can tell, there isn't exactly a treatment, but there is counselling that sort of teaches you how to adjust to the issues you're have and compensate for the things you're lacking. It is best to start it when you are still a child, but maybe it can also be helpful for adults. I was never offered any help, but I heard it can be helpful to go into a counselling program like the one I described.

 

[Racon]

I was diagnosed with ASD in my mid-twenties. I'm a guy though. Autism in girls is a bit different for sure. I talked to another girl who was mostly treated as having BPD / Bipolar but had been suspected as having autism by one counselor.
There isn't really any specific treatment. Cognitive behavioural therapy can be used to help manage some of the anxiety but that is about it. Getting diagnosed would only really have the benefit of knowing more about yourself.
I had bookmarked this website by an woman who was diagnosed as an adult but I haven't really looked at it. Maybe it has some information that will help you.

Musings of an Aspie

one woman's thoughts about life on the spectrum

musingsofanaspie.com

 

[Ghost2211]

What is she saying she can do to "help" with autism? There is no cure or treatment for autism. It's not a disease or mental health issue. Its a genetic condition. I suggest you do some reading on autism, and see if you think you are on the spectrum. You know you better than anyone.

 

[BPD Barbie]

The treatment for autism is lead poisoning

Or CO poisoning

Or SN poisoning

Look I'm normally pretty optimistic about mental health treatment, but if you're autistic, then you're totally fucked. Give up now. It's why everything has been shit so far. I can personally guarantee you it will only worsen from here. Happy autists are wrong, and I suspect lying

Bit harsh don't you think?

 

[Ghost2211]

The treatment for autism is lead poisoning

Or CO poisoning

Or SN poisoning

Look I'm normally pretty optimistic about mental health treatment, but if you're autistic, then you're totally fucked. Give up now. It's why everything has been shit so far. I can personally guarantee you it will only worsen from here. Happy autists are wrong, and I suspect lying

it sounds like life has been cruel to you. I am very sorry to hear that. I don't know how deep in the spectrum you are, but it is more likely the people around you that have made autism an unlivable situation rather than the autism itself. People with autism do require those around them to be more empathetic and patient, but autism is not always a social emotional death sentence.

 

[timeisnigh]

Bit harsh don't you think?

Doesn't make me wrong. I'm killing myself because of having autism in about 2 weeks

it sounds like life has been cruel to you. I am very sorry to hear that. I don't know how deep in the spectrum you are, but it is more likely the people around you that have made autism an unlivable situation rather than the autism itself. People with autism do require those around them to be more empathetic and patient, but autism is not always a social emotional death sentence.

I liked it better when you said there is no cure or treatment.

If by people around me, you mean people in general, then well said. I don't need more empathy or patience. I need to not have autism, then my fiancee wouldn't have left me at the altar.
Any depth in the spectrum is too far. Even one drop of autistic blood is worth abandoning hope over.

 

[Racon]

Doesn't make me wrong. I'm killing myself because of having autism in about 2 weeks

I liked it better when you said there is no cure or treatment.

If by people around me, you mean people in general, then well said. I don't need more empathy or patience. I need to not have autism, then my fiancee wouldn't have left me at the altar.
Any depth in the spectrum is too far. Even one drop of autistic blood is worth abandoning hope over.

It couldn't have been all that bad if you had a fiancee. A lot of us go our lives without any friends or any female contact whatsoever.

 

[timeisnigh]

It couldn't have been all that bad if you had a fiancee. A lot of us go our lives without any friends or any female contact whatsoever.

You say that, but she left me for being autistic, thereby proving my point: abandon all hope, ye who autism have

 

[Ghost2211]

You say that, but she left me for being autistic, thereby proving my point: abandon all hope, ye who autism have

She said "I am leaving you because I can't deal with your autism"?

 

[timeisnigh]

She said "I am leaving you because I can't deal with your autism"?

I'm not trying to totally hijack dolce's thread, but she went from being totally into me, to saying I couldn't communicate well enough with her*

so fuck it, that was my apex. I bought my ticket & stopped my anti drinking meds & anti depressants. Once I can drink again & when it's a dark night (new moon), I already know where I'm going to hide myself to die

Autists aren't welcome here. I'm doing myself a favor & apparently everyone else, since they're tired of me counting tooth picks

*no matter what I did to fix the situation

 

[Racon]

You say that, but she left me for being autistic, thereby proving my point: abandon all hope, ye who autism have

I tried joining some Discord servers for autism before. I had to leave them because the people there were all happy and living fulfilling lives so I could not relate to them.

But then the July survey here had like 16% of over 1k responders saying they are autistic so I don't know what to think.

 

[Ghost2211]

I'm not trying to totally hijack dolce's thread, but she went from being totally into me, to saying I couldn't communicate well enough with her*

so fuck it, that was my apex. I bought my ticket & stopped my anti drinking meds & anti depressants. Once I can drink again & when it's a dark night (new moon), I already know where I'm going to hide myself to die

Autists aren't welcome here. I'm doing myself a favor & apparently everyone else, since they're tired of me counting tooth picks

*no matter what I did to fix the situation

She sounds like she didn't understand the issue, of didn't care enough to learn how to communicate. I can communicate fine with the autistic people around me because I care enough to listen and read between the lines. honestly, you just haven't found somebody that cares enough to probably try.

 

[timeisnigh]

I tried joining some Discord servers for autism before. I had to leave them because the people there were all happy and living fulfilling lives so I could not relate to them.

But then the July survey here had like 16% of over 1k responders saying they are autistic so I don't know what to think.

Autistic people shouldn't be allowed to form large groups. They'll get delusions of being empowered

Look I'm not trolling. I was diagnosed late in life. I'm going to skip all the shit that my inferior genetics and lack of diagnosis style from me. I have nothing against other autists, but I hate autism and I hate myself

She sounds like she didn't understand the issue, of didn't care enough to learn how to communicate. I can communicate fine with the autistic people around me because I care enough to listen and read between the lines. honestly, you just haven't found somebody that cares enough to probably try.

You're a very compassionate person. I'm touched by your kind words and haven't been trying to dump on you. But it's too late for me. my heart is hardened

She didn't care to understand or learn, and why should she? She was in the right to find bigger, better deals because autism is a flaw. Why go looking for broken goods?

There isn't someone who cares enough to try, and I've wasted too many years foolishly hoping things would turn around. Fuck this.

 

[SeekingPeace2000]

I was diagnosed with Aspergers when i was 16. In my opinion, being on the spectrum is pretty much a death sentence. I feel like i will never be able to live a even somewhat normal and happy life. Most on the spectrum are unemployed and completely unable to have a career. Most autistic men never form a relationship of any sort. The world thinks it´s okay to discriminate and abuse you. Not to mention, that social interactions are close to impossible for autistic people. I honestly just don´t see any hope anymore.

 

[timeisnigh]

I honestly just don´t see any hope anymore.

Spoiler

 

[EternalDarkness]

I dont know if there is any hope for females that have Aspergers, but for males on the autism spectrum the only cure is indeed some kind of life ending poisoning and i am glad that the posts were not removed. Its better to be honest than to prolong the suffering of someone who is better off being dead. I have Aspergers too and i wish someone told me as a kid to just save myself from the things to come instead of filling me with false hope.

 

[Racon]

I dont know if there is any hope for females that have Aspergers

They do fine really. Like any female there are many people who will love, care, and provide for them. Probably a big part of how autism hasn't been eradicated from the gene pool via natural selection. The genes die off in most of the males but continue through females.

 

[GrumpyFrog]

They do fine really. Like any female there are many people who will love, care, and provide for them.

Xcuse, me but where exactly are those people?

If you're confident that your information is correct, please do tell me where to find them

 

[Racon]

Xcuse, me but where exactly are those people?

If you're confident that your information is correct, please do tell me where to find them

It's like, biology man. 50/50 sex ratios are kept because a female is a sure bet for genes to continue their existence while male is a gamble that a few good ones can spread their genes a lot.

If you are an autistic girl just post anywhere that you are looking for a relationship with a guy and you'll plenty of suitors.

 

[Grav]

I was diagnosed late in life and I don't think I'm too far in. It did explain my behavior though. It hasn't stopped me from functioning and I've been on meds for a bunch of years now so it's not so bad. It caused some problems with my wife, mostly communication, but those are few and far between now and part of that is me checking myself. She put up with a lot of my weirdness.

 

[GrumpyFrog]

If you are an autistic girl just post anywhere that you are looking for a relationship with a guy and you'll plenty of suitors.

There's a lot to dispute here, but I really don't want to sidetrack the thread of a person that is looking for treatments/help for autism, so I digress.

It hasn't stopped me from functioning and I've been on meds for a bunch of years now so it's not so bad.

May I please ask if the meds you've been on were prescribed to you because of the issues related to autism, or for a separate diagnosis? I didn't know there was medications that could help, if there are I would definitely research the topic.

 

[Grav]

I was put on both Prozac and an buproprion. I have to say I'm more in line with asperger's than autism but now it's all ASD so don't take me as an example please. My family can tell if I've missed my meds, mostly anxiety and more of the ocd type behavior. My racing thoughts have dropped down enough that I still have them but don't get aggressive when they are interrupted. I was a "hyper" kid and was almost put on ritalin but that was nixed by mom. I spent time in the military and the routine was really comfortable for me. Forgot: I'm also being treated for depression and anger issues (not so much).

 

[blacksky]

I have asperger, so I`m kind autist

 

[muffin222]

I have Asperger's. There is no treatment really, just strategies to manage the symptoms. I went under the radar for years because I'm a girl and the symptoms presented in a more "socially acceptable" manner (e.g. I was able to mask effectively for a while).

I disagree that girls with autism "do fine" just because we're girls. Being a girl has generated more problems for me because people expect more from me socially; they expect me to be normal and to just KNOW what the social rules are. I lack social graces and tact, apparently, which turns people away. I have no friends because other girls tend to ostracize me from groups or outright harass me in the worst case scenario.

I don't see how being a girl in any way makes autism more bearable, and I'm curious as to why people would propose that to be true

 

[Ghost2211]

I have Asperger's. There is no treatment really, just strategies to manage the symptoms. I went under the radar for years because I'm a girl and the symptoms presented in a more "socially acceptable" manner (e.g. I was able to mask effectively for a while).

I disagree that girls with autism "do fine" just because we're girls. Being a girl has generated more problems for me because people expect more from me socially; they expect me to be normal and to just KNOW what the social rules are. I lack social graces and tact, apparently, which turns people away. I have no friends because other girls tend to ostracize me from groups or outright harass me in the worst case scenario.

I don't see how being a girl in any way makes autism more bearable, and I'm curious as to why people would propose that to be true

often times males assume that females are given an easier path in life in general, so that just extends to autism. In reality however if we are not what society expects us to be we just end up getting used and thrown away instead of becoming somebody's wife. Some people just live in a fairytale where they think that society actually cares about females.

 

[muffin222]

often times males assume that females are given an easier path in life in general, so that just extends to autism. In reality however if we are not what society expects us to be we just end up getting used and thrown away instead of becoming somebody's wife. Some people just live in a fairytale where they think that society actually cares about females.

So true! I really appreciate your insights and explanations, truly. A lot of men do seem to believe that being a female is a gateway to an easier life, and it's really anything but. There are so many societal and systemic issues that impact women even today that continue to go unresolved and unchallenged. You're completely right that if we don't fit into the ideal box of what a woman should be, we just get used and discarded :\ reality isn't like the movies, boys.

 

[timeisnigh]

I don't see how being a girl in any way makes autism more bearable, and I'm curious as to why people would propose that to be true

Sexism. Maybe to the incelth degree. @RoseyBird responded to this really well, but I wanted to drive home: be like me if you've got to hate yourself, don't take it out on others

 

[EternalDarkness]

I disagree that girls with autism "do fine" just because we're girls. Being a girl has generated more problems for me because people expect more from me socially; they expect me to be normal and to just KNOW what the social rules are. I lack social graces and tact, apparently, which turns people away. I have no friends because other girls tend to ostracize me from groups or outright harass me in the worst case scenario.

Not meeting social expectations is very common for almost anyone with Asperger and it results for both men and women in isolation, mobbing and sometimes even violence. Its not a unique struggle female autists face but hey, at least people expect me to be less able to socialize to begin with, because...I am a male. That really warms my heart. (not)

I went under the radar for years because I'm a girl and the symptoms presented in a more "socially acceptable" manner (e.g. I was able to mask effectively for a while)
...
I don't see how being a girl in any way makes autism more bearable, and I'm curious as to why people would propose that to be true

Nice contradiction.

 

[muffin222]

Nice contradiction.
[/QUOTE]


@EternalDarkness
Um, going under the radar made things worse for me. That's what I'm saying. It wasn't a plus. Masking is exhausting, stressful, draining, and frustrating. I could only keep up the charade for so long before I crashed and had a mental breakdown. Look up "autistic regression". I've yet to recover fully from that, and I can no longer mask like I used to.

I wish someone had connected the dots earlier, so I could have gotten the help and support I needed from a younger age instead of stumbling through life confused and blinded as to what was really going on and why I struggled to navigate the world like everyone else.

But, because the symptoms presented differently as a girl, no one recognized the signs for years and years. How is that contradictory?