Anyone here willingly chose to remain single and not ever try to look for a relationship again? just distract yourself until death? tell me more ...

[HermitLonerGuy]

Thinking im gonna have to accept the reality il be single forever.
I literally have nothing to offer women, no good looks, no money, no fun personality, no dick nothing.
How do you pass your time and what keeps you distracted from loneliness? thanks.

 

[mazzy]

The loneliness eats me up sometimes, especially living in a society where it seems if you don't have a lifelong partner then you've failed life. I try to convince myself that being in a relationship won't complete me, that it really doesn't matter if I never get married. Mostly I just want someone who can be there for me when I need a shoulder to cry on, someone that loves me no matter what and sometimes that comes in a different form then a lover. For me it's my dog, she helps. I tried to look for a relationship but I've have no luck and the amount of effort I put in was exhausting so I've stopped trying.

 

[psp3000]

I have never been in a relationship or looked for one everyone so disgusting and scary now to me and love looks very transactional and empty in 2023

and I've seen how much pain a relationship or having a partner or yearning for someone can cause a person

sometimes I think of what it would be like but I quickly shut down the idea

so I put all of my love and care into my hobbies or into learning new things or I remind myself reasons not to get into a relationship of any kind and I always remind people that I talk to not to fall in love with me or think of me romantically only platonically

I wish I had friends though (edit: or a pet cat I love cats) but my social skills are bad and I am boring

 

[FrostedHoax]

As much as the loneliness and yearning for connection eats away at me day-to-day, I'd never want to get into a relationship knowing that there's a pretty much guaranteed chance that I'll be killing myself in the next couple of years. I'd never be able to forgive myself if I did that to someone. It's not like there's anyone interested anyways and even if there were, they'd probably run screaming for the hills as soon as they get to know the real me.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I tend to remind myself that all of my crushes have likely been limerance and obsessive/crazy. They really didn't do me any favours. Plus- if by some miracle, I would have ended up with any of the people I liked- I'm almost definite they all would have ended in (my) heart break. If I'm honest- looking at real relationships- even the good ones makes me realise I'm happier to be alone.

I really just put all my time and attention into getting the job I wanted. Not that it's going well now but it used to work! Seeing as I worked long hours but from home- it meant I could put films and box sets on in the background and just lose myself in them and my work. It really depends if you're a social person though. If you are- then maybe you need to focus on getting a good circle of friends around you. Anything to take your mind off of being alone.

 

[The anhedonic one]

I'm useless in bed because of persistent untreatable clinical depression. I just don't have very much of a sex drive. Even in my teens I rarely felt horny. Childhood sexual abuse also makes me feel an aversion to sex. I've had a couple of relationships, yet they always ended up cheating because I couldn't really give them what they wanted. I don't hate them or blame them for dumping me, it's just the way it is.
I do get seriously lonely sometimes and wish I had someone to love. Yet, it's just never going to happen.
Music and books get me through the day.

 

[Document6105]

I don't want to burden other people, so I'm not interested in a relationship.
I know I'm going to be dead within the next 5 years.
To be in a relationship is to be there for the other for as long as possible.
Having a due date is nothing but a recipe for disaster for the other party.

 

[Lost Magic]

Yeah, I choose to be single because I don't want to give myself or someone else false hope. And I don't want to burden them with all my depression and anxiety issues. If I was well and didn't want to die then maybe. It's too late for all that now, all the ships have sailed already.

 

[Unattainable666]

Yes. It's so much easier and less stressful. People are such assholes. I don't want to waste my time.

 

[Celerity]

I have come to the conclusion that if I really cared about dating and love, I would put much more effort into it. My sex drive is pretty low on most days and has only gotten lower with age.

The last time I was really infatuated with someone, my emotional dependence on their approval turned from exhilarating to exhausting when they ultimately revealed that they did not feel the same way. I deeply fear letting someone else make me feel so vulnerable again, especially since I look back now and fail to see what I even found so appealing about them in the first place.

 

[R.E.N.]

Eventually, you just mirror reality's "reciprocation" of disinterest. Closeness and intimacy, even platonic, become so alien to you. It's actually becoming so common that the modern age is attributed with the loneliness epidemic.

 

[WorthlessTrash]

I just accept the fact that there are winners and losers in life, and i am of the latter. I dont love, let alone like myself so i definitely don't expect or even recommend someone liking or loving me. I'm a loser at the game of life and will eventually stop playing.

 

[HermitLonerGuy]

I just accept the fact that there are winners and losers in life, and i am of the latter. I dont love, let alone like myself so i definitely don't expect or even recommend someone liking or loving me. I'm a loser at the game of life and will eventually stop playing.

same here and im sorry. you a good person everyone says so on here, you deserved better. I wish you peace.

 

[MeltingBrain]

Like others, I don't want to be a burden on someone .

 

[nerve]

i still get really sad sometimes when i think about about being single for the rest of my life, but ive spent so long agonizing over the topic that im mostly just bored of it by now.

i dont have to worry about anyone cheating on me. no getting dragged around to family events or parties or vacations i have no interest in. no messy divorces or breakups that frequently scar people for life. no suddenly losing a partner and needing to change my entire lifestyle because of the loss of income. no arguments. no pressure to have sex when i dont want to. i dont have to clean up after anyone but myself. no "youre getting old and im no longer attracted to you." my finances are my own and i can do whatever i want with them. i actually enjoy living alone and being able to watch/eat/buy/do whatever i want without having to consult someone else.

it's really not the worst thing in the world to happen to a person. relationships have just as much potential to drag someone down as they do to uplift them. i dont feel the need to 'distract' myself from the loneliness when it comes around; i notice it and acknowledge it and usually keep going on with my day. no one's life is perfect. and id imagine i pass the time just the same as anyone else does, paired up or otherwise.

 

[Stripe19]

Personally speaking, i distract myself same way i mask my mood as a whole. I act like this "cool aunt" style to everyone, giving snips of advice in-between goofy little shenanigans. Im a match maker, a clown, and generally i try to really paint myself in that way, acting like i can handle all the pressure and responsibility with quips and whatnot. May not work for you, but maybe pieces of this might, utilizing humor to cope with lack of romantic fufillment, and personally i do feel atleast a little better when i am a match maker, "guiding others to a treasure i cannot possess".

 

[outatime_85]

For me, it has been a very long time since anyone has wanted any type of relationship with me.

So I just stopped looking, choosing to turn off those kinds of emotions and accepting that I am not a good person or worthy of having such things.

Besides, I do not have the skill-set required to have or build a meaningful relationship of any kind, and I doubt anyone would ever see investing time in me as anything worthwhile.

So I spend every day trying to come to grips with the fact:

1) No one will ever be there to comfort me, no one will be there to hold my hand, no one will ever tell me they respect me, and no one will be there at my bedside if I live to old age.

2) No one will be there to see that I am buried properly (I will most likely end up in an unmarked or simple-number mass grave).

3) I will truly die alone (yes, everyone dies alone, but there are usually family members around or at least someone to notify). In my case, there is no one who will be there willing to handle the finality of my death.

As someone without a pack, family, or significant other to reach out to, this quote only seems apt for my life's situation. "The lone wolf dies, but the pack survives."

 

[loyalskateboard]

I've been in one relationship that lasted about six months. I highly doubt I will date again. I know what I would need in a relationship and statistically it won't happen. I don't even think I'm being that picky.

1. We live in the same general area. No more than one hour travel time
2. We have similar goals and values
3. We are both lesbians
4. We both have ASD/ADHD
5. We have similar views on religion/politics/marriage/kids
6. We are friends before dating
7. Monogamous relationship
8. Sexually compatible

And then we'd have to somehow find each other, meet at the right time, be attracted to each other, both want more than a friendship, etc etc. My dating pool is tiny I'm content with enjoying my hobbies and accepting the fact I probably won't date someone again

 

[foreverfalling]

I've lost my naivety regarding relationships, so whilst I often fantasize about having some perfect person that will comfort and be there for me, I know it's a fantasy which doesn't exist. An actual real relationship is nothing like that fantasy that I desire, it's more like having to go to work to make a living. Two people doing a role play of whatever society deems people in a relationship should be doing. No, I don't want to wear a mask for the rest of my life. To be in a relationship implies making it long lasting and having a future, and my views on CTB directly contradict it. How can I be my genuine self, show my true side to this person and yet maintain a relationship?

I also believe I think beyond a relationship on some level. Everything is simply a trade off. Being in a relationship may have certain benefits and drawbacks, but being alone also has it's own benefits and drawbacks.

So whether I have chosen to stay single, or have been sent this way, I am alone. Like a few others in this thread, I'll probably die all alone with no one to rely on. Until then it's distracting myself until the time comes.

 

[tiredplant777]

Yeah this is relatable. I honestly realized last night my chances are slim to none due to my trauma and mental health and that no one would want that for long. I have or had a big crush on someone for a while and my friend who knows them has been encouraging of it but the more I was confronted with my pain the more the crush dissipated last night. No guy I have been with has ever wanted to be with me for real outside of situationships. I am 34 and that is all I have really had. They can feel the trauma and don't want to get too close, I can feel it.

 

[chahan.trading]

In our times, where loyalty and commitment are almost non-existent, it's better to be alone.

Modern times fucked up how people think, feel and act. Especially how social media affects one mental health.

Everything is so fast, and so convenient, even affection and relationships, can be achieved with just one swipe from your phone. Getting tired of one person, you can switch to another one real quick.

Being alone is not a bad thing. It is one of the strongest decisions that you can make for yourself.

 

[suicidalloser]

Modern times fucked up how people think,

And you think you're some saint otherwise?
There will always be no matter the time era

 

[chahan.trading]

And you think you're some saint otherwise?
There will always be no matter the time era

I don't.

 

[suicidalloser]

I don't.

How novel.

 

[chahan.trading]

How novel.

Sure, man.

 

[WorthlessTrash]

In our times, where loyalty and commitment are almost non-existent, it's better to be alone.

Modern times fucked up how people think, feel and act. Especially how social media affects one mental health.

Everything is so fast, and so convenient, even affection and relationships, can be achieved with just one swipe from your phone. Getting tired of one person, you can switch to another one real quick.

Being alone is not a bad thing. It is one of the strongest decisions that you can make for yourself.

Copium.

 

[tiredplant777]

In our times, where loyalty and commitment are almost non-existent, it's better to be alone.

Modern times fucked up how people think, feel and act. Especially how social media affects one mental health.

Everything is so fast, and so convenient, even affection and relationships, can be achieved with just one swipe from your phone. Getting tired of one person, you can switch to another one real quick.

Being alone is not a bad thing. It is one of the strongest decisions that you can make for yourself.

Yes this has been my experience also. I also found, as bleak as this sounds, that in me being a kind and helpful person a lot of my relationships and friends were more about me taking care and supporting others instead of genuine and equal bonds. It has left me so drained. In dating it was bleak and a lot of manipulation stuff.

 

[Sweet Tart]

I had a partner who ended the relationship after 14 years. I've always been a loner and never expected to have a partner. Now I know what it is like and don't expect it to ever happen again. This is not strictly positive or negative.

I'm a physically and emotionally unhealthy person and don't expect anyone to want to spend time with me. My body is disgusting to me and to some extent, all bodies are kind of disgusting to me. I wasn't always like this but I am now. I just want reprieve from feeling bad. Relationships are complicated and in my experience, only provide brief interruptions from depression.

 

[iamalreadydead]

I've been in 2 relationships and after this last one it's just been proof to me how vapid people are and love is most definitely transactional, so I don't wanna be with anyone since I don't really have anything to give.

 

[Eisenfuchs]

I've been in a string of relationships over the years; and though none have panned out yet I do still have a glimmer of hope. I have given up on dating apps since they're so toxic; but I'd still be open to give love another shot one day.