Anyone here have an certain age limit they plan to CTB at?

[Iris Blue]

Sorry if there were previous threads already like this

For me it's always been 23 (even when I was around 15), and my 23 bday is coming up next year so I guess my assumptions were true

 

[sserafim]

Yeah, my limit is 25. I'm 23 now but I think I might have to go out soon. I never wanted to live past 18, but I didn't do anything about it, so I'm adamant about ctb'ing before 25. I'm determined to do this.

 

[anonymousfoxxo]

I personally don't have a limit, but I know I want it soon. Soon is a broad term however. In my context, soon is anywhere between a few weeks to a few years (thinking 2-7 years).
I do not know the right time, nor the way. I just know the If. And that has been already decided.

Take Care,

 

[LifeTransit_1]

No official Age limit. Just going day by day. Some day's I feel like I want to end it all and some days i just want to enjoy life.

 

[Ondine0000ff]

Definitely next year, because I know I don't want to keep studying or get a job, and I know my family won't allow that either. In fact I'd like to do it before the insuffurable christmas holidays lol

 

[ilikemoais]

25 my limit , im 21 if my life doesn't get any better ig ill ctb

 

[Mistiie]

Less an age limit, more a "When's a good time to go for it" limit.

Christmas time? Will forever ruin any future Christmasses, so maybe not. Birthday? Again, feels a bit wrong. I have to pick my time carefully.

 

[hi-okbye]

i want to do it within the next month. i've had complication happen before, my original date to do it by was november 2nd, then it got pushed to the 13th. obiously neither of those actually ended up happening, so now i'm planing to go before december 12th around, the absoloute latest december 27th, and if i'm really really pushing it, march 29th

 

[Iris Blue]

Less an age limit, more a "When's a good time to go for it" limit.

Christmas time? Will forever ruin any future Christmasses, so maybe not. Birthday? Again, feels a bit wrong. I have to pick my time carefully.

I agree I was thinking around Thanksgiving because although it might dampen the holiday spirit at least my dad will be with his family on that day and not alone anyways

 

[haibane]

I wanted to die before i turned 18 but sadly i was too scared to do it. I hope i will be motivated enough to do it before my 20s

 

[colorlesshue]

i wish i had never gotten the chance to turn 18, but my current limit is at 30 unless i magically get better or something. i have like a decade to figure my shit out.

 

[hellispink]

If I was a "normal" person my age limit would be 50. That only if i had good health and physical conditions. But since I am no normal, my age limit is probably no pass this year. Definitely not waiting for anything magical to happen to make me normal.

 

[KikoKiki]

within the next year

 

[HighFlight]

Less an age limit, more a "When's a good time to go for it" limit.

Sound advice. As someone who has made it to more than double some of your "age limits", my advice to pay less attention to the number. It's more important is how your feel; physically, mentally, and emotionally. Only you can know the right time, but age shouldn't be the sole factor in this decision.

 

[Iris Blue]

Sound advice. As someone who has made it to more than double some of your "age limits", my advice to pay less attention to the number. It's more important is how your feel; physically, mentally, and emotionally. Only you can know the right time, but age shouldn't be the sole factor in this decision.

I can totally understand and respect that, the past few years have been on and off about wanting to be alive but mostly me not wanting to, I'm not sure if some of it was because I already had the mindset of not wanting to live past 23 or the universe decided to give me a little push in making my decision (it's probably been the worst year by far with my mental health) but kudos to you for making it this far (not sarcasm)

 

[Forever Sleep]

No, I don't have an age limit because my CTB is contingent on when my Dad dies. I'm already way older than most people here seem to want to reach- I'm 43. For me- it's more like I feel there are certain things looming on the horizon that I'm simply not willing to put up with. I don't intend to put up with illness and old age alone. I don't want to go into a wage slave job again- although that looks fairly likely for the time being.

My Dad's death will be my trigger point. Not just because of the pain of it. It will feel like I have no one left at that point. But- there's also the distinct possibility a (suspected) narcissistic family member would go to the funeral. Ideally- I'd like to avoid seeing them at any cost. Seems best to try and do it asap after my Dad goes to save myself all that shit. Of course- whether I'll have the courage is another matter.

Frustrating part is- I was so sure I'd be dead by now- of natural causes. My Mum died at 40. I always felt sure I would too.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I don't have an age limit it depends on the circumstances of my life and what's happening. I don't have bright expectations for my future and things are declining since years. At any time there could sth triggering me to just do it regardless of any losses though I sill hope that's not gonna happen.

 

[Orbitc]

My limit is definitely 40 years - I don't want to be old and ugly, even if my life got better. I'm 34 now and i will most likely have a ctb this month.

 

[Iris Blue]

No, I don't have an age limit because my CTB is contingent on when my Dad dies. I'm already way older than most people here seem to want to reach- I'm 43. For me- it's more like I feel there are certain things looming on the horizon that I'm simply not willing to put up with. I don't intend to put up with illness and old age alone. I don't want to go into a wage slave job again- although that looks fairly likely for the time being.

My Dad's death will be my trigger point. Not just because of the pain of it. It will feel like I have no one left at that point. But- there's also the distinct possibility a (suspected) narcissistic family member would go to the funeral. Ideally- I'd like to avoid seeing them at any cost. Seems best to try and do it asap after my Dad goes to save myself all that shit. Of course- whether I'll have the courage is another matter.

Frustrating part is- I was so sure I'd be dead by now- of natural causes. My Mum died at 40. I always felt sure I would too.

I understand where you are coming from, originally part of me wanted to possibly wait but I don't think I can last that long. And part of me wants to do it before my parents die because I don't think I'd be able to handle it (very selfish and hypocritical of me).

Also, this is just my own personal opinion (so not trying to sound mean or rude) but I always worried about staying around for a longer period of time like up to my 30s or later just because at least for me, so many things can happen in that amount of time that could make CTB almost impossible.

Like for example, what if I end of finding someone I love or to love me, or end up having kids (all of those I would never even dare to believe would be possible) but I would just fear the time leading up to if I were to wait for my parents death something would stop me. And I feel like doing it at a younger age would make it easier since I haven't seen the world yet, I have some idea of what it has to offer (mostly bad) but this way I can go without feeling like something is holding me back.

Some of me wanting to CTB at a certain age probably has to do with me telling myself I wouldn't make it past 23 but other parts of it seem to have more meaning and fear. But what I do feel strongly about is that I was never meant to live out my full life here to begin with.

I'm really happy (if that's the word you were thinking of or don't mind me using) that you have stayed this far and care enough to be there for your family until their end. You're doing something I wish I could but never will.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I understand where you are coming from, originally part of me wanted to possibly wait but I don't think I can last that long. And part of me wants to do it before my parents die because I don't think I'd be able to handle it (very selfish and hypocritical of me).

Also, this is just my own personal opinion (so not trying to sound mean or rude) but I always worried about staying around for a longer period of time like up to my 30s or later just because at least for me, so many things can happen in that amount of time that could make CTB almost impossible.

Like for example, what if I end of finding someone I love or to love me, or end up having kids (all of those I would never even dare to believe would be possible) but I would just fear the time leading up to if I were to wait for my parents death something would stop me. And I feel like doing it at a younger age would make it easier since I haven't seen the world yet, I have some idea of what it has to offer (mostly bad) but this way I can go without feeling like something is holding me back.

Some of me wanting to CTB at a certain age probably has to do with me telling myself I wouldn't make it past 23 but other parts of it seem to have more meaning and fear. But what I do feel strongly about is that I was never meant to live out my full life here to begin with.

I'm really happy (if that's the word you were thinking of or don't mind me using) that you have stayed this far and care enough to be there for your family until their end. You're doing something I wish I could but never will.

I think it's very much about individual circumstances. I don't think that people who CTB young don't consider or love their families. I just think they ran out of coping mechanisms and felt overwhelmed.

As all people's circumstances are, mine are kind of unique. The (suspected) narcissistic family member caused me to become suicidal to begin with- aged 10. But- I just lost myself in art to cope. That has been my crutch throughout life. Without that, I can't imagine what I would have done. I've been at my most suicidal when that part of me has been under threat. But- that is what has got me through.

Yes, I think I do know what you mean about worrying things could interfere with your plans. I guess I was slightly different because at times, I probably had hope that I could be happy with a partner and family. It's more retrospect now that- I look around at people here and- not meaning to sound unkind- I feel kind of grateful that I've ended up alone. I think I could very well still be unhappy- even in a relationship and- I just wouldn't want those tethers. Children especially. Because of my own circumstances- my Mum died when I was 3- I don't think I could abandon a child if I had one. I know how painful it was to grow up without my Mum. That would just trap me here.

I'm so sorry life hasn't worked out for you. I hope you find peace- whatever decision you make.

 

[CloudyNightSky]

My limit was 30 since I'm 13 but recently idk if that limit was a bit high. Ahh it's a limit right? So probably smth like 22 I'll go for it

 

[gbi2]

After what happened to me over 6 years and being unable to handle the effects I told myself I'd be gone before 51 years old. I'm over 51 years old now, so I'm running late, which is unlike me. It's not like I haven't been trying over the past few weeks, I'm just really bad at it.

I had an eye operation last year too. Full anasthetic. I remember feeling the pain in the arm they warned me about and first thinking it was taking a bit longer than I thought it would, but then I blacked out. I wish it was that easy.

 

[Iris Blue]

After what happened to me over 6 years and being unable to handle the effects I told myself I'd be gone before 51 years old. I'm over 51 years old now, so I'm running late, which is unlike me. It's not like I haven't been trying over the past few weeks, I'm just really bad at it.

I had an eye operation last year too. Full anasthetic. I remember feeling the pain in the arm they warned me about and first thinking it was taking a bit longer than I thought it would, but then I blacked out. I wish it was that easy.

I'm sorry about what had happened. I also agree on the anesthesia topic, I've always been so interested and fascinated with how it works and I would always try to fight it until the last moment when I can't, and it's crazy how when you wake up it's like no time passed. One time I even woke up in the middle of my wisdom teeth surgery which was insane.

A few months ago I had to get Ketamine treatment and although I wasn't like totally unconscious the effects definitely were there. But yes I do wish CTB was that easy like through nitrogen or helium but ofc we are forced to use the most difficult and painful ways to end our suffering.

 

[imonadeadline]

my whole brand here on sasu at this point is that i am indeed on a deadline. i told myself that if i turn 22 and im still unhappy, i will catch the fastest bus out of here. im 20, and things are bad. i think im gonna have to wait at the bus stop earlier than i thought i would. its more of an ultimatum now, im just so tired.

 

[Nlis2244]

I hope i do it as soon as possible, so before summer, before i turn 21. But if i won't be able to, then at least in the next 2 years. My absolute limit would be before i get too old, so at 40 yo, but something should go very wrong for me to survive until then.

 

[gbi2]

I'm sorry about what had happened. I also agree on the anesthesia topic, I've always been so interested and fascinated with how it works and I would always try to fight it until the last moment when I can't, and it's crazy how when you wake up it's like no time passed. One time I even woke up in the middle of my wisdom teeth surgery which was insane.

A few months ago I had to get Ketamine treatment and although I wasn't like totally unconscious the effects definitely were there. But yes I do wish CTB was that easy like through nitrogen or helium but ofc we are forced to use the most difficult and painful ways to end our suffering.

I bet waking up was an awful moment. Did you panic or anything? I once saw a documentary called 'When Anesthesia fails' and people recounted when it happened to them, feeling everything being done to them but being unable to say anything.

I also had to have two surgeries a couple of years ago. It was around the time I realised I wanted to die but the first one I was still scared about it going wrong. Apparently everything in that first one went as they expected, raised heart rate, blood pressure and so on.
When I had the second one, (which actually turned out to be a waste of time because they said their was a cancerous polyp left behind from the first. but it wasn't there during the second one), I was about to start getting dressed and a nurse came up to me saying they just wanted to check everything again. She looked at the machines and I asked if anything was wrong. She said all through the surgery, my readings stayed stable, and none of them had ever witnessed that before. I never told her that I had secretly hoped something would go wrong so I would die this time. I'd pre-agreed to a blood transfusion but I felt I was ready to shout that I I retracted my agreement if something went wrong.

 

[cryvinglightning]

before i hit my 30s/40s, that's for sure.

 

[RandomMacBeth]

Sorry if there were previous threads already like this

For me it's always been 23 (even when I was around 15), and my 23 bday is coming up next year so I guess my assumptions were true

it's not an age, but an event. i only go to ctb after two specific people in my family die, they were essential to my life, i couldn't kill myself knowing that i will ruin their lifes. but after that i can end my life on the same day, there's no other reason holding me back in this life.

 

[WeDontKnowTheFuture]

Unfortunately, except if i change my mind, i will have to wait for my parents to leave before to put an end to my own life.
I cannot imagine myself going "peacefully" in the process of dying knowing that i'm actually detroying their life.
So i guess i will have to wait 30years more before finally doing it. I will stock SN in a vacuum container in the meantime cause i'm sure it will be impossible to get in a few time.

 

[kilowatt]

When I was younger I planned to be gone by 25. My due date is 3 days before my 20th birthday, so I'm not a lot far off. But I can say I've always wanted to be gone as young as possible. I've attempted at ages as young as 15.