Anyone have social anxiety so bad it is hard to even post/comment here?

[CameronFrye]

After lurking for a long time I finally worked up the courage to make an account and contribute to the forum. I definitely enjoy contributing but I still find myself constantly second-guessing anything I type and editing it over and over again to make it sound right. It helps that it's anonymous and everyone here is friendly but it can still be hard sometimes.

 

[Foresight]

Most definitely, you're not alone. I just post anyway. I get a pang anxiety and try to let it go. It's like a level of practice for more intimidating interactions.

 

[Red]

Bless you well done for speaking up!
Many of us lurk for a time before making ourselves known, I stayed silent for a year before posting lol
Welcome! I hope you find comfort here

 

[Lostandlooking]

I get anxious as well. I've often deleted posts right after I made them. Just take it at your own pace. And also: welcome!

 

[allesistgut]

i feel like i'm constantly overthinking almost ever post i make, even if it's something short. on several occasions i've also deleted posts right after i've posted them because i started to get super anxious.

big hug to you!

 

[Jack'sWastedLife]

Oh totally. Lurked for over a year; still mostly lurking even after making an account.

 

[Red]

i feel like i'm constantly overthinking almost ever post i make, even if it's something short. on several occasions i've also deleted posts right after i've posted them because i started to get super anxious.

big hug to you!

This resonates- around two thirds of the posts I write don't even get posted!
Rant, read…
*sigh*, nobody wants to read this shit…
DELETE

 

[allesistgut]

This resonates- around two thirds of the posts I write don't even get posted!
Rant, read…
*sigh*, nobody wants to read this shit…
DELETE

ah! this feels so like me! or i'll start to write a post and spend a lot of time on it just to read it again and go… hmmm… post reply? never mind!

 

[cosmicpixiedust]

I used to be more talkative on here, but now social anxiety wins 96% of the time. Though, I think that may apply to me in person as well.

 

[thisplaceisaprison]

I get concerned about hurting already vulnerable peoples feelings, but what people on this site think of me doesn't really matter because I've found this place to be pretty understanding of everyone and nobody has given me any comments that made me feel unwelcome. At first joining, yeah, I didn't know what to expect. I wouldn't overthink it though there's been some ridiculous posts here and nobody is that nasty to anyone and there's definitely a place for everyone wherever you're at.

 

[meghead]

It took me some time to post when I started. I am always terrified about how people see me through text.

Some people on here have argued that you need to make a certain amount of posts to stay here, but that idea is harmful to people who are already hesitant to post.

 

[CommitSudoku]

I definitely relate to this. In fact, the more I interact the worse the anxiety can get. It gets to the point I can only overcome my anxiety under extreme situations (re: very poor mental situations) or some other such caveat just to log in. Between the anxiety, hating myself, and trust issues, kinda feels like I don't truly belong anywhere and shouldn't be allowed to taint anyone else or anything else.

 

[ikadasui]

Yeah always. I really try to keep my conversations short which I'm share makes me come off boring, but, well... I am boring and highly unintelligent so it's best for all parties involved if I clam up

 

[thisplaceisaprison]

It took me some time to post when I started. I am always terrified about how people see me through text.

Some people on here have argued that you need to make a certain amount of posts to stay here, but that idea is harmful to people who are already hesitant to post.

I don't think that's likely to happen, I know what you're talking about though. I think if anything eventually they would just close the site off to making new accounts or have a different length of having an account for certain access

Yeah always. I really try to keep my conversations short which I'm share makes me come off boring, but, well... I am boring and highly unintelligent so it's best for all parties involved if I clam up

I don't think anyone here finds anyone unintelligent, maybe some methods seem unlikely to work when they're mentioned but that's part of the point here and I don't any parties involved on here are expecting a party.

 

[CommitSudoku]

I wanted to add that the more posts a thread has, the more anxiety I have in considering commenting in it, does anyone else have this? It feels like a thread already so established leaves no room for me. I guess I don't fit anywhere. Even now in a sleep deprived state I'm second guessing posting anything, it's all so tiring.

 

[waitingforrest]

You are not alone in that! I constantly delete, edit, and rewrite things I post. It's not so much about how people think about me but more how my words can affect someone. Even a simple sentence can make a bad day into a worse day.

I am mostly a listener rather than a talker in social situations. I think you can guess why that isn't the best for posting.

I am often scarred of saying the wrong thing, mostly of saying empty platitudes or invalidating someone's experiences.

But the more I post, the more I begin to realize that this place isn't as judgemental as other places.

I think the most humbling thing I learned throughout the years, is to not make assumptions and apologize when I made someone feel worse.

I often wonder how do I find the right words or what to type. I just normally go with what feels right and what is best to read if I was in that same situation.

But yeah, I still second guess myself no matter what :P

 

[Graytaichi]

You are certainly welcomed here

 

[LostAllHope88]

I joined in December and was afraid to start posting until just this week so you are definitely not alone it's been a pretty supportive and welcoming experience though so I'm glad I decided to just do it.

 

[Al Cappella]

Ha! Totally! I have SA, and never thought about it in terms of posting to a forum—but sure, why wouldn't it affect things? I'm forever paranoid of appearing completely stupid, and quite convinced everyone hates me. Now intellectually I get those are mere thoughts, based on nothing concrete—but still. It affects me. So yes, I totally get where you're coming from…

 

[akitashoto]

I feel the same, I joined few months back, and after going through some threads, I felt so much warmth, I felt like I belong here, I wanted to be a part of it, but I couldn't. Mostly maybe because I was scared, sharing what I feel has been the most difficult thing. but your post made me a bit more confident, and this is the first time that I am writing anything here, I hope to write more in the near future.

 

[CameronFrye]

Wow the amount of understanding and support here is something like I've never seen. I relate to all the posts in this thread and find it comforting to know others relate to me. I've never been in a place where I can relate to others so much. I think the anxiety will always be there but here it helps immensely knowing I'm understood.

 

[y0dha]

I'm new here but just wanted to say this happens to me everytime I post something on forum, youtube comments, etc...
I'm way too afraid of what people will perceive of me.
Sometimes i erase my posts even though i'm right... I know this is stupid but the fear gets me.

 

[Insomniac]

It's very common. I definitely had anxiety at first

 

[_Minsk]

I still deal with this, its annoying as hell, even after being a longtime ss member.

 

[hopelessgirl]

I do the same thing. Sometimes I post something and immediately delete it afterwards.

 

[Bitterman1996]

Yes everytime i write some vent post whether here or on reddit or any other social media for that matter, i feel like im being judged. But at the same time since it's an anon forum, I don't care as much.

 

[Mixo]

Definitely I experience this. Nothing will change it for me.

 

[whatevs]

Mine is only bad enough that I have left confrontational replies unread. But yours is worse if you can't even post... Sorry about that.

Oh yes, I also delete some posts but they were mostly risquée jokes.

 

[luvnyunyu]

Yess, i feel so relate to your words and everyone words in the comment section here. It's takes a lot of courage for me even to comment and interacting in this site. I know people in here are really nice and supporting, this site is giving me so much comfort. Thanks to the people here ❤
However most of the time when i want to comment something, anxiety just take over myself and i decided not to say anything...

Weird thing is i feel more afraid to be interacting online, i have no problem interacting IRL. Actually i'm quite sociable person IRL, no unnecessary anxiety and discomfort. Very opposite to my social life online, i wonder why. Maybe i'm just worried that people won't perceive what my words actually meant and take it the wrong way...

Welp, now i'm gonna lurking in the darkness again.. i hope your anxiety becomes better!

 

[Pain In The Ass]

After lurking for a long time I finally worked up the courage to make an account and contribute to the forum. I definitely enjoy contributing but I still find myself constantly second-guessing anything I type and editing it over and over again to make it sound right. It helps that it's anonymous and everyone here is friendly but it can still be hard sometimes.

I definitely feel that. I sometimes delete Youtube accounts to ensure all the comments I've made in the last year or so are gone. I had debilitating social anxiety when I was younger. I'm not so bad now - partly because I realized that 50% of it wasn't anxiety - it was simply my introverted personality. But the part of it that was anxiety caused me to go over everything I'd said to anyone that day, over and over, to see if I'd said anything shameful.

This will probably sound harsh, but the thing that helped my social anxiety more than anything, was the realization that I was being really selfish. I thought I was the centre of the universe, that I was special, that the things I said to people were really important, that people should care what I thought and said and how I said it, that my opinion on this or that was important, and that other people must think my opinions are important too, that other people valued my existence within their lives as much as I valued my existence within their lives. I realized that I was HUGELY exaggerating how special I was in the grand scheme of things, and how significant my existence was to strangers. I was projecting my own self-centred importance onto how I thought others perceived my role in their lives.

A way of thinking that helped me - to remember that you are the leading role in your own movie, and to your family and friends you have a supporting role, but to everyone else on this planet you are an insignificant extra who won't even be on the end credits - they literally don't give a shit about your role in their movies whatsoever, they don't even know you exist! They're too busy thinking about their own leading roles and in their own movies to give a fuck what you said 10 minutes ago, they weren't even listening. And to top that all off, THEY are just an insignificant extra in YOUR movie, so what the fuck do you care what they think anyway?!

From the Truman Show...
Truman - "...it feels like the whole world revolves around me somehow."
Marlon - "It's a lot of world for one man, Truman. Are you sure that's not wishful thinking?"

Another thing I do that helps a lot is make a list of all the things you would have to do to be a truly awful person by your own standards (yours, not others), things you would have to do to feel genuinely ashamed of yourself socially, so...

Swore at him/her aggressively
Tried to frighten him/her
Threatened to punch him/her
Tried to bully him/her
Tried to intimidate him/her
Tried to purposefully manipulate/deceive him/her to get what I want
Deliberately tried to insult him/her to hurt them
etc...

And when you're feeling anxious about a situation that has happened, go through the list, tick each one off, and now you know you did nothing bad, by your own standards, which is all that matters to you and your conscience, and then you can forget about it, or go through the list again if it pops up again!

Maybe some of that will help!