Anyone Find Distractions No Longer Help?

[KibblesNBits]

For half my life, I could avoid my problems by watching TV, movies, listening to music, reading or playing games. Now, I can't escape the real world even for a minute. Not even my nature walks are as effective. It's how you know you're in real trouble when you can't even enjoy the little things anymore. I guess that's my punishment for all the escapism and maldaptive dreaming I'd rely on instead of facing the world and my issues.

 

[Flick]

Ditto
Especially with quarantine
Possible distractions are halved, and (for me at least) so is their effectiveness

 

[Philosykos]

I reckon I'm pretty much exactly the same way. Escapism was the only way I knew how to cope ever since childhood. It can still be effective but only in small doses and usually accompanied by some kind of drug - alcohol in particular is my jam. The older I get, the more difficult this becomes and as reality sets in, I get anxious and panic attacks have started to haunt me more frequently. I used to romanticise escapism and drugs; during adolescence, my big heroes were the 'druggies' of the tv shows I watched, the hedonists. I wanted that. I wanted what tv show characters had: those 'lost souls' were usually romanticised a lot in media; they would eventually get help, people would care about them, would try to save them from themselves and the evil world. In reality though, that doesn't happen. There's no one there who will save you, who will come flying on the winds of fortune and reach out. You're on your own. And at a certain point, you are beyond rescue. Vicky from The Vampire Diaries has always been rather a poignant character in media to me. She was a lost cause and there was no one there who cared enough for her to save her. Her life was tragic and so was her death. The world didn't care. I don't like that show anymore for multiple reasons. But Vicky Donovan and her fate were well written in the sense that it reflected reality.

 

[Saed]

Totally relate. Nothing whatsoever can distract from the hell that consumes,not for a nano second.
My every waking thought is predominated by the shadow of what torments me.
It's worsened by the protracted wait for SN and all the peripheral supplies,being unable to know when freedom can come.

 

[KibblesNBits]

I reckon I'm pretty much exactly the same way. Escapism was the only way I knew how to cope ever since childhood. It can still be effective but only in small doses and usually accompanied by some kind of drug - alcohol in particular is my jam. The older I get, the more difficult this becomes and as reality sets in, I get anxious and panic attacks have started to haunt me more frequently. I used to romanticise escapism and drugs; during adolescence, my big heroes were the 'druggies' of the tv shows I watched, the hedonists. I wanted that. I wanted what tv show characters had: those 'lost souls' were usually romanticised a lot in media; they would eventually get help, people would care about them, would try to save them from themselves and the evil world. In reality though, that doesn't happen. There's no one there who will save you, who will come flying on the winds of fortune and reach out. You're on your own. And at a certain point, you are beyond rescue. Vicky from The Vampire Diaries has always been rather a poignant character in media to me. She was a lost cause and there was no one there who cared enough for her to save her. Her life was tragic and so was her death. The world didn't care. I don't like that show anymore for multiple reasons. But Vicky Donovan and her fate were well written in the sense that it reflected reality.

This hurt because it's so true. We've all been duped one way or the other. From childhood, we're reassured things will be okay and we'll always be taken care of. The reality is a slap in the face and completely panic inducing. If we are not vigilant from a young age, we are beyond screwed. Some of us aren't lucky enough to have people looking out for our well being even as children, and as adults? Forget about it. As for escapism, this forum is pretty much all I have at this point.

Also, love the avatar! One of my favorite films and books, though it does remind me of the kind of love I will never have. The overall message resonates with me regardless.

 

[Philosykos]

You are right, @KibblesNBits; it's sad that most people don't get their own personal hero, not even in the form of a parent or family member who should take that responsibility on their shoulders. But I suppose it's true what they say: You come into this world alone, and you will leave alone.

And yes, I love CMBYN. I'm not sure if you're familiar with the MBTI personality test. I don't care too much about those kinds of test, the MBTI perhaps being a bit more elaborate than others, but it's basically just the Big Five with categories. Elio Perlman is, imho, the most accurate portrayal of the INFP personality type ever and I could relate to him on a level I haven't been able to with any other fictional character. His love story with Oliver was the most beautiful and tragic thing I have ever had the privilege of experiencing vicariously; two souls that found each other and never should have let each other go. If only we all could find someone like that for ourselves and waste away our years with each other just laying in the summer shade and revel in each others' existence.

 

[KibblesNBits]

You are right, @KibblesNBits; it's sad that most people don't get their own personal hero, not even in the form of a parent or family member who should take that responsibility on their shoulders. But I suppose it's true what they say: You come into this world alone, and you will leave alone.

And yes, I love CMBYN. I'm not sure if you're familiar with the MBTI personality test. I don't care too much about those kinds of test, the MBTI perhaps being a bit more elaborate than others, but it's basically just the Big Five with categories. Elio Perlman is, imho, the most accurate portrayal of the INFP personality type ever and I could relate to him on a level I haven't been able to with any other fictional character. His love story with Oliver was the most beautiful and tragic thing I have ever had the privilege of experiencing vicariously; two souls that found each other and never should have let each other go. If only we all could find someone like that for ourselves and waste away our years with each other just laying in the summer shade and revel in each others' existence.

I will die alone, yes. That much is certain. I'd at least like to go while I still might be missed by somebody.

Elio Perlman is one of my favorite fictional characters. I relate to him on such a fundamental level despite having none of his advantages. I envy his romance with Oliver, his supportive and attentive family, everything really. Samuel's advice to his son on life and love knocked the wind out of me. Elio and Oliver's relationship is so precious and I could only dream of having such a connection with someone. If I could escape into any fictional universe from reality, it would be the CMBYN universe.

 

[Painless_end]

The real question is : can you face your issues now and overcome them.

If you can then you are still out of trouble.

It doesn't matter when you face them as long as you have the strength to face and overcome them at some point.

The real trouble is if you are unable to ever overcome them at any point like me.

 

[KibblesNBits]

The real question is : can you face your issues now and overcome them.

If you can then you are still out of trouble.

It doesn't matter when you face them as long as you have the strength to face and overcome them at some point.

The real trouble is if you are unable to ever overcome them at any point like me.

I tried to overcome them but unfortunately, my issues are now of a medical matter and not anything that make life worth living. I would give anything for my problems to be fixable.

 

[Deleted member 17949]

Most distractions still require some level of engagement on my end, and I just don't have the energy to give it. I can't focus on anything so I just lie there and rot, and while I lie there I just end up thinking about suicide.

 

[St. Jimmy]

Yeah. I think I've finally reached that point. My mind is always screaming, no matter what I do. Even food is becoming less enjoyable, which is very sad for me, because I love food.

 

[KibblesNBits]

Yeah, food isn't even as enjoyable anymore. I also can't sleep. It's brutal.

 

[kane]

I'm still lucky enough to be able to distract myself some of the time, but it's much less reliable than it used to be. Most days I reach a point where nothing feels worth doing or meaningful, and I just want everything to end. I think it takes a lot of energy to properly distract myself, and once that's gone, I'm left having to face the emptiness.

 

[SipSop]

For half my life, I could avoid my problems by watching TV, movies, listening to music, reading or playing games. Now, I can't escape the real world even for a minute. Not even my nature walks are as effective. It's how you know you're in real trouble when you can't even enjoy the little things anymore. I guess that's my punishment for all the escapism and maldaptive dreaming I'd rely on instead of facing the world and my issues.

I feel you bro.

 

[NoPlaceForme]

Unfortunately yes. Getting older and being an adult has made everything I lived vicariously through as a child, and everything I attached meaning to, crash and fall apart bit by bit over the past few years. Distractions now make me feel quite empty, they trigger me and I still feel suicidal somehow. I guess once you gain enough information you aren't able to take yourself away from the cold reality as it is now right in front of us.

 

[AnxietyAttack44]

Nothing helps anymore. Ss used to help, but its getting real hard lately.