Anyone feel like their mind is broken

[Wishiweredead]

I think mine is beyond repair

 

[mathieu]

Yes, totally. My brain is fucked.

 

[GoBack]

Yeah mine is. It's scary

 

[TheGoodGuy]

Yes it happened years ago, at some point you just realize you are past the point of no return.

I am 26 but even at 19-20 I felt their might still be hope and even in my early twenties I would buy lottery tickets in hopes of becoming rich but even though I suffered the money could help me cope but now my physical and mental problems, apathy and anhedonia is so strong that even if I got a billion dollars I would still ctb I am just too far gone.

 

[Wishiweredead]

I'm new here can you guys read my first post about partial I need advice asap

 

[ghostgirl1995]

Yes I feel like I'm fried. I feel like a case study at this point :(

 

[miguel6565]

Yes,no return never

 

[Wishiweredead]

It's mainly negative. I have nothing to add in convos that's how broken my mind is. All I think about is ctb. That day is closer and closer. I'm going with partial hanging

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

I think mine was broken at birth and I'm still waiting for a refund. (CTB REFUND)

 

[codewarrior]

Broken, beyond repair. Couldn't bring back time to correct course. Every moment is heavy and time is slow.

 

[Una]

Sadly ... mind remains perceptive enough to know full-well that soul is completely and irreparably broken.

 

[Mooshi]

Yes, I do.. I'm past the point of no return. The chance that my situation is going to improve enough that I won't ctb is non-existent.

 

[KadathianStr1d3r]

I think mine is beyond repair

Same. Feels so horrid being too rough to be around my supposed fellow humans. I feel nothing but irritation and the need to drive away from my own species, this is clearly the mind of a irreparable state that can only be ended in the true equalizer that is named death.

 

[KiraLittleOwl]

It is. I am stuck in the same loop of thoughts and my cognitive abilities dwindled.

 

[WhatIsMyLife]

Absolutely. Nothing changing for me.

 

[BPD Barbie]

Broken and absolutely beyond repair at this point. I'm stuck in ways of thinking that I think are impossible to get out of now.

 

[Bct]

Me too. Used to have some hope that I can repair it, but looking at reality, feels like beyond repair

 

[RayoSinSol]

In a more well-equipped world, my mind would be perfectly okay. There really just aren't more than some very marginal options available for people like me, in this time period.

We have so much technology, but very little spaces dedicated to uniting around the nuanced divergences of the human experience.

I realize that I'm asking too much of this world, by just existing and wanting an experience that feels real - one that genuinely excites me at the prospect of just...living it. Not this never ending, non-consensual BDSM masquerade ball...with green sprinkles on top, that we call society.

I have nothing to be excited for within the human world. I'm doomed to a life of masking and acting. I used to love acting as an art form, but as a whole life it is hell.

And now even the process of exiting this world is being made unnecessarily difficult by the same fucked up, puritanical system that makes me want to leave in the first place.

 

[your pathologist]

My mind is functioning at like half capacity.
I haven't got more than a few minutes of sleep each night for the past four months.
My body feels horrible, my brain is exhausted,
I feel in a constant state of anxiety and panic.
I can't even have conversations with others about hobbies or drives. it feels like I'm only capable of nodding, chuckling and asking obvious questions in response to who may be taking to me... He's gotta feel like shit, basically alone all the time again when we (I mostly) barely talk.. He deserves someone with the mental capacity to speak to him regularly, like I used to.
I wanna hug him and squeeze him and reassure him I'll be ok, there's never an end to this, and I can't lie. I haven't gotten better love of mine, I'm sorry I'm doing this to you...
I'm unable to improve my life when every day I spend trying to find any kind of rest.
I've tried so many medicines, so much sleep hygiene shit, even meditation and muscle relaxation... Nothing seems to be working. I can only blink out and lose like an hour and then like it never even happened, I'm back to my perpetual awakeness...
WHY IS THIS HAPPENING
Life was hard enough before... Now I'm a shell. A lazy broken pathetic shell unable to support myself or help my poor sweet bf.. He's just watching me spend all my days sick or too tired to move, too apathetic to eat...
My thoughts are constantly looping old memories and random words, nonsensical lyrics... No new experiences, no dreams, no restful reset.
I NEED OUT OF THIS HELL IM NOT EVEN ALLOWED TO FUNCTION IN. WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN ME

 

[worn_out]

I already had suicidal thoughts as a child, so maybe I was 'malfunctioning' from early on, but as my adult life has gone on and on and on, depression and traumatic experiences have accumulated. Every bit of damage has left me less and less functional, to the point where I'm just a fake shell reacting to fear. I feel like a broken machine that throws the same errors over and over, while trying to go through the motions of looking human. It feels not only pointless but painful.

 

[FuneralCry]

I have never been suited for this life, but as the years have gone by I have lost the will to live even more. I find it hard to concentrate and I just feel so tired all the time. In a way it is like I have already died.