Anyone ever feel like shit when people say "oh, you seem so chill, you have no worries in life?"

[Mistiie]

I didn't realise people see me as this chill, careless, quiet person, I just thought they thought I was a deranged weirdo.

But I think that's somehow even worse in a way. They don't realise how much stress I go through, how much effort it takes for me not to hastily find the medicine cabinet every morning and cram every piece of medication I can find into my mouth.

That lack of acknowledgement pains me so much. I wish people could actually realise how tough my experience is and how horrible my life can be to me without either being turned away from me or thinking I'm selfish as a result.

 

[Somethingiswaddling]

Exactly?? Like i have this friend who would always tease me when i wouldn't show up in class saying im "lazy" yadayadayada. Tho one day i told her that i rarely show up because Im dealing with depression and everything. Turns out she was surprisingly understanding and even asked sorry for all the teasing! So my advice is, try to talk aboyt it/hint it if you feel like the person will understand or at least try to understand, maybe it'll bring the two of you closer! :)

 

[vuberpoot1]

It is pretty irritating how clueless and assumptive people can be. It doesn't feel good to be relegated to a simplistic emotion / state of being in the eyes of other people, but at the same time, can we blame them for not knowing better? To me, it seems that most people are just ignorant to the troubles that plague us, but they generally don't mean any ill by it.

So my advice is, try to talk about it/hint it if you feel like the person will understand or at least try to understand, maybe it'll bring the two of you closer! :)

And this sums up what I'm trying to say pretty much, a lot of the time I think this issue can be fixed by just opening up and explaining the truth about how you feel. Obviously easier said than done, especially for me personally, but it is one way to get around the problem. Wish you the best, friend.

 

[owano]

Yeah I feel similar. I'm always told I'm chill and super quiet, and it's so frustrating because I hate that aspect of myself. Because of it, I've never been that close with anyone, and I keep getting the in between phase where you're in a friend group, but they don't consider you close enough to invite out and be in group chats unlike the other people in the group. It's so isolating.
Then I've had an instance where this girl was going on about how people think they have "trauma" but it won't amount to how horrible her and another girl's lives were due to living with an addict of a mom. Fortunately I don't live under such circumstances, and I understand how traumatic that can be, but I don't agree with her undermining other people's struggles. With the way she worded it, it made it sound like only her and her friend have it bad, but it's agonizing because she doesn't know what everyone else struggles with. I don't need to "prove" I've had a traumatic life — not everyone voices to the world their issues. Then it felt so awkward and impersonal when she found out about my sh scars and her asking in this weird, almost infantalizing-like, voice if I was okay. Like, I don't even talk to you, why should I tell you anything?

 

[steppenwolf]

People are such cunts. Fuck them and fuck what they think of you. Fuck them deep. Cunts.