Anyone else

[rabbithole]

Hold their breath and hope you'll die when you have painful thoughts?

I'm just overwhelmed by memories and thoughts that torment me.

im hoping to ctb soon but my si is making it hard. Plus I'm skeptical of sn's reliability tbh. I know people say without being found and with taking a second dose if you vomit you're sure to ctb but I'm scared I won't be able to take the second dose.

im slowly becoming adjusted to constant emotional torment and it's also concerning because I'm desensitized to it in a way. Anyone else have this happen? It takes the drive for ctb away.

 

[WornOutLife]

Memories are haunting me everyday!
I also hold my breath and hope to die but I end up chickening out and breathing again. Damn it!

 

[StuFin]

I've worried about taking SN and if I'll be able to do it or bear it, but I've got to the point where the pain is worse than the fear.

I was drinking a lot to try and block the pain but it just turns me into an arse, so I've stopped drinking on the whole and I feel worse and more depressed than ever.

 

[rabbithole]

I've worried about taking SN and if I'll be able to do it or bear it, but I've got to the point where the pain is worse than the fear.

I was drinking a lot to try and block the pain but it just turns me into an arse, so I've stopped drinking on the whole and I feel worse and more depressed than ever.

Yeah, I feel you about the pain being worse than the fear. For me it comes in waves and doesn't last long enough to take action.

 

[Caspers]

Maybe drinking with a straw could make it a little easier to drink? People suggest using strong mouth wash to help make the taste buds a little numb too

 

[Gromit-CTB]

I think we all know that fear. I have lost count of my attempts over the years, I only need to get lucky once.