Anyone else who’s life has been ruined by psychedelics?

[Kta1994]

Mushrooms helped me alot mentally, too bad they cant heal chronic pain

 

[whitefeather]

Thanks everyone for these details on HPPD.
Now that mushrooms are being legalized , professional friends are microdosing .

 

[Lo Priest]

For sure. Back when I was 16, I dropped acid maybe twice a month. This culminated in a nightmare experience where I did 5 tabs and became convinced that I was "stuck" or "trapped" in a permanent loop, and that this loop is the basic substance of reality. The word "loop" is a nasty mind virus when you're on acid. I felt that my thoughts were repeating infinitely and that I was approaching some state of total annihilation through being subsumed into the loop that underlies all of existence. Obviously, the drug wore off and I didn't get literally stuck with a permanent high, but I feel that I was somehow "cursed" by this experience. I think it may have been my subconscious telling me that I had wrecked my normal brain development through heavy chronic use of this drug, and that I was doomed to experience my adolescent mental health challenges long past the time when they should have ended. I'm 25 now, and I still haven't overcome any of the issues that plagued me when I was in high school. I'm still an angsty teenager in many ways, and I suspect that acid may be to blame for this.

sorry for the late response. i read your earnest reply on lsd myself, and your description of these tried and embodied 'loops' spurred me to cast my gaze disembodied, for your living testament razed too true. your post shot an adrenaline spike on my psyched out mind, so much so that i felt an early worry. away i looked. what a horror, huh, what a spell. In my first trip when i was 16 i landed a web; these loops. existential horror embodied. you can be convinced in whole that you are conscious, yet doomed to repeat a life sentence in this syllabus. what a worry, im sure you know, cog spur, cog spur. the more you try to break even, it all odds to a checkerboarded startline, a dash of go tendoned upon an end of beginning. i still endear myself towards lsd, may it be a cultwarmth or not. but still i wonder who i wouldve been had i just been gods natural son, free from substance. whats your go to joy division song? as a teenager id always redound to ians last go at 'ceremony', in that 1980 session. that track or unknown pleasure's 'wilderness'.

 

[LigottiSchopenhauer]

sorry for the late response. i read your earnest reply on lsd myself, and your description of these tried and embodied 'loops' spurred me to cast my gaze disembodied, for your living testament razed too true. your post shot an adrenaline spike on my psyched out mind, so much so that i felt an early worry. away i looked. what a horror, huh, what a spell. In my first trip when i was 16 i landed a web; these loops. existential horror embodied. you can be convinced in whole that you are conscious, yet doomed to repeat a life sentence in this syllabus. what a worry, im sure you know, cog spur, cog spur. the more you try to break even, it all odds to a checkerboarded startline, a dash of go tendoned upon an end of beginning. i still endear myself towards lsd, may it be a cultwarmth or not. but still i wonder who i wouldve been had i just been gods natural son, free from substance. whats your go to joy division song? as a teenager id always redound to ians last go at 'ceremony', in that 1980 session. that track or unknown pleasure's 'wilderness'.

You're tapping into some deep and hidden stuff with what you're saying here. My advice to anyone who's into acid is this: if you're gonna peel back the veil, be careful you don't peel it back too far, because you might see something you wish you hadn't. It's been almost seven years since I dropped acid and "traced the invisible web," myself. I have no desire to know anything or explore the essence of reality anymore. I prefer to numb my consciousness with alcohol at this point. For me, reality is an absurd horror and my only wish is to escape from it.

I also love the JD rehearsal of Ceremony. My favorite song that they actually recorded in a studio is Decades. Ian's lyrics to that song are some of the most haunting poetry I've ever seen.