Anyone else want to ctb over debt

[Skygoat]

Just want to say I've been browsing the forums for a week for so. Seems like a helpful and understanding community.
I should have CBT 10 yrs ago but didnt. It failed because it was on impulse. Cant really say life has improved much.
Only now I'm in debt with the government (student loan debt) and they are taking half of my wages. I know I wont every be homeless again. I will ctb before that happens.
Everything feels hopeless for the past 3 weeks since I got the news of the wage garnishment.
Hoping to make this look like an accident maybe SWB. (I tested this with good results) SI kicked in when I started feeling euphoric.
Now researching ways to modify my car to make CO more reliable. Hopefully if I'm unconscious the SI wont kick in.

I've already paid 5k on a 6k loan and that's not even close to the intrest. Still owe 8k. I'm going to be paying this crap for the rest of my life if I chose to go on.
My husband deserves better. A nice house with a pretty wife and kids and I will never be able to give that. Wage garnishment or not.
He cant see it but it's better this way.
Seems silly over a small amount but I just put us through homelessness. I've been there it is not fun.

 

[liverpoolfan]

This breaks my fucking heart. It's so sad that people don't understand the tremendous pressure debt can put on a person's health - and how that spreads out to take down entire families and communities. I wonder how many more happy, functional communities we'd have if we just eliminated usurious interest rates and introduced UBI.
I worked as a lecturer for a while and one of the reasons I quit was I couldn't bear seeing an endless procession of kids signing up to a lifetime of debt.
I hope you can find a way out of your despair.

 

[HGL91]

This breaks my fucking heart. It's so sad that people don't understand the tremendous pressure debt can put on a person's health - and how that spreads out to take down entire families and communities. I wonder how many more happy, functional communities we'd have if we just eliminated usurious interest rates and introduced UBI.
I worked as a lecturer for a while and one of the reasons I quit was I couldn't bear seeing an endless procession of kids signing up to a lifetime of debt.
I hope you can find a way out of your despair.

Wow! You are a good person to see that and quit the job over it. Yeah. Debt, especially with interest, is so stressful. It's one of the reasons I'm CTBing.

 

[liverpoolfan]

Wow! You are a good person to see that and quit the job over it. Yeah. Debt, especially with interest, is so stressful. It's one of the reasons I'm CTBing.

Thank you.
Obviously there are many different types of people who are interested in suicide; some have fatal diseases, some mental illness, some just horribly lonely, others just tired of the world they see or (like me) demand the right of agency over their own lives and deaths.
The saddest ones for me though are those who *want* to live and could do so quite happily were they not hounded literally to death by amoral corporations and/or rich sociopaths who give 0 fucks if people die as long as they get their precious money.

There was a thread here asking if you would consider not CTB if you were a billionaire - it made interesting reading.
Personally if I were a billionaire, or even a millionaire, I'd start with groups like this and find those whose main reason to CTB is financial stress - and then make it go away.
I can't imagine a more fulfilling or more rewarding way to spend that money, can you?

 

[stoney126]

Just want to say I've been browsing the forums for a week for so. Seems like a helpful and understanding community.
I should have CBT 10 yrs ago but didnt. It failed because it was on impulse. Cant really say life has improved much.
Only now I'm in debt with the government (student loan debt) and they are taking half of my wages. I know I wont every be homeless again. I will ctb before that happens.
Everything feels hopeless for the past 3 weeks since I got the news of the wage garnishment.
Hoping to make this look like an accident maybe SWB. (I tested this with good results) SI kicked in when I started feeling euphoric.
Now researching ways to modify my car to make CO more reliable. Hopefully if I'm unconscious the SI wont kick in.

I've already paid 5k on a 6k loan and that's not even close to the intrest. Still owe 8k. I'm going to be paying this crap for the rest of my life if I chose to go on.
My husband deserves better. A nice house with a pretty wife and kids and I will never be able to give that. Wage garnishment or not.
He cant see it but it's better this way.
Seems silly over a small amount but I just put us through homelessness. I've been there it is not fun.

I don't mean to trivialize you problems, but really, $8k isn't much debt. Student loan debt I understand, but with a spouse (dual-income I assume), you should be able to *easily* get on top of those loans and get a good payment plan. Since you said they were through the government, you should have federal protections. Since you say they are garnishing your wages, it sounds like you have just been ignoring them and not taking advantage of the numerous protections that are available. I would recommend doing your own research, going to a forum specifically dealing with these topics, and/or speaking to a financial planner to figure this out.

I clicked on this thread thinking "Owe, this is probably someone in a similar situation as me!" and I saw your debt is much smaller by comparison. $8k is not an excessive amount that is going to derail your life. It is a speedbump; how large depends on you, your income, and how you deal with it.

For reference; I have almost $200k in debt, over $130k of it is student loans; some of them are private. The rest of the loans are personal debt and credit card debt from trying to finance my way through school. I was not able to finish my degree. I was not able to declare bankruptcy. I have failing health issues that will likely cost more money; money I do not have. My credit score is below 500 now and I do not qualify for any credit anywhere. So believe me when I tell you that $8k isn't much.

 

[Skygoat]

I really want to live and try. Here's the thing my neighbor flipping burgers at MCD working 15 hrs a week at min wage now makes more then me. I work 60-70 hrs a week in an dangerously factory.

It may seem like poor me blah blah. Look guys I have pulled my self up time after time after time just to be kicked down. After a certain point you just give up. I came up for homelessness and drug addiction.

Yeah ok 8k instant a lot but it is when the interest rate never goes down and they are taking wages leaving you unable to live on.

Yes I was paying them. But have went into default 2 times due to mental and physical problems.
One for an eating disorder and the 2nd for lyme disease. 8k is a lot of debt when they are taking half of your income. And it's not even covering the interest rate.

 

[liverpoolfan]

Thing is, and I'm sure your intentions are entirely noble and you're just trying to help and offer context, this isn't a financial advice forum - its a suicide forum.
What might seem trivial financially to one member might be too much to bear for another.
Because everyone here has something about life that is either too much to bear (or they fear will become too much to bear). What seems trivial to one person might be unbearable to another - and vice versa.
Once we start saying "Oh that's not a real reason to ctb" then where do we draw the line?
This forum exists in part because literally everywhere else people tell us our reasons for wanting out are silly or trivial or selfish or easily solvable.

In my view the best thing we can do here is share 'best practice' advice and offer sympathy - and leave our judgement about someone's reasons for wanting to ctb at the door. And I say that with the greatest respect as I feel your intentions were laudable.

 

[Jon86]

It's one of many reasons, poor physical health outweighs it by a mile.

 

[stoney126]

Thing is, and I'm sure your intentions are entirely noble and you're just trying to help and offer context, this isn't a financial advice forum - its a suicide forum.
What might seem trivial financially to one member might be too much to bear for another.
Because everyone here has something about life that is either too much to bear (or they fear will become too much to bear). What seems trivial to one person might be unbearable to another - and vice versa.
Once we start saying "Oh that's not a real reason to ctb" then where do we draw the line?
This forum exists in part because literally everywhere else people tell us our reasons for wanting out are silly or trivial or selfish or easily solvable.

In my view the best thing we can do here is share 'best practice' advice and offer sympathy - and leave our judgement about someone's reasons for wanting to ctb at the door. And I say that with the greatest respect as I feel your intentions were laudable.

Part of (definitely not the only) reason that there is such a stigma around suicide is because lots of people see it as an escape for emotionally unstable people to avoid dealing with easy problems and their own mental health issues. I don't think supporting people who obviously just need help by telling them to CTB is really a good solution, as it just further perpetuates the stereotype that people who want to CTB are just emotionally unstable and need help, which does damage to people who want to have the freedom to control whether they live or not.

So yeah, I think there are levels, and yeah, I think we should not be so quick to support someone saying they want to CTB over some minor or emotional issue. If someone came here saying they broke up with their GF and now want to CTB, would you give them advice on how to do it? Because I would tell them to take some time and think it through. If after a while, you still feel like this, then yeah, look into it more and do your research. If after a few days, you have no idea what you were thinking, then yeah, you were an emotional mess that would just further damage the cause.

I wasn't trying to trivialize or invalidate OP's opinions. Just let them know that there are plenty of options that it looks like they aren't taking advantage of. If they look into these options and still feel this way, then yeah, no judgement at all.

You don't have to be pro-life to understand that not every problem in life should instantly be met with CTB. There are levels, and there will always be levels. It is up to each person to define what is a "real reason to CTB". We can obviously all define reasons that aren't real reasons to CTB.

 

[TimeToDie]

Here's the thing my neighbor flipping burgers at MCD working 15 hrs a week at min wage now makes more then me. I work 60-70 hrs a week in an dangerously factory.

I'm totally confused here. What country has dangerous factories where you earn just 1/4 of minimum wage?

 

[oopswronglife]

Yep....I am disabled and lost my means to earn. Without money no or very poor medical care. Without good medical care things get worse and since even the bad places cost a mint the money problems worsen. I will never be able to dig out of it and nobody or no system will help. I have no worth to them. I am going to pin an invoice to my chest when the day comes to do the deed to show what they have valued me at. Zero.

 

[liverpoolfan]

I don't feel further argument over what constitutes a 'proper' reason to CTB or what the purpose of this group is would be helpful to the OP so I'm not going to add anything other than to offer my sympathies to her - and everybody else on this forum.

 

[oopswronglife]

We can obviously all define reasons that aren't real reasons to CTB.

We can define those reasons for ourselves, but you don't get to define those for others.

 

[HGL91]

We can define those reasons for ourselves, but you don't get to define those for others.

Yes. Suffering is relative. How a situation affects the body and mind for someone is what can make someone suicidal, not the situation itself.

 

[stoney126]

We can define those reasons for ourselves, but you don't get to define those for others.

As another said, we shouldn't derail OP's threads over this discussion. I was just trying to communicate to OP that they have options (specifically Income Based Repayment if they are really claiming so much is being garnished from their wages), but as I was corrected, this isn't a financial forum and this post wasn't for advice.

OP, I get it. It can be hard, and I don't mean to trivialize your pain or experiences. Everyone is going through their own situation, and everyone has to make their own decision on CTB. Just do more prep work (as it sounds like you are doing) and don't fail due to it being just an impulse decision like you did in the past. And know that if you did your prep work, that you won't fail, so base your decision making around it being final.

 

[mattwitt]

I've been in debt for the past 25 years. It's been a constant heavy burden that has completely ruined my life and a major factor that has driven me to plan and prepare my possible suicide.

 

[Kjo]

Student loan debt sucks. I've got quite a bit of debt from that (talking over five times the amount you have left and I'm unemployed). I feel for you.

Fortunately, There are so many resources for student loan debt, payment plans, and several us president candidates are discussing complete loan forgiveness. Please re evaluate your options, reasons, and resources. Debt should never be a reason, in my opinion. You can recover from this financial crisis.

 

[mattwitt]

Student loan debt sucks. I've got quite a bit of debt from that (taking over five times the amount you have left and I'm unemployed). I feel for you.

Fortunately, There are so many resources for student loan debt, payment plans, and several us president candidates are discussing complete loan forgiveness. Please re evaluate your options, reasons, and resources. Debt should never be a reason, in my opinion. You can recover from this financial crisis.

I went to some school for 3 days and quit. I got stuck with an $8000.00 student loan that ended up costing me around $25,000.00 to payoff which took about 10 years to do so.

 

[HGL91]

Yup. School is a scam.
Debt is also stressful because it can mess up
your credit, and with bad credit it's hard to do pretty much anything like rent a place to live or a car or get a credit card...I'm tired of being rejected for things I need to survive because of dumb mistakes I made as young adult learning about the real world. :/

 

[oopswronglife]

As another said, we shouldn't derail OP's threads over this discussion.

This response frustrates me because you state it, then go on to respond again defending yourself. This makes anyone who replies to you seem like they are derailing things, but gives you an opportunity to speak your piece again while cutting others off. There is a habit of people to assume their reasons are thought out and valid, while judging others with a harsher method. People can end their lives for any reason they choose. They don't have to justify it to anyone but themselves, and perhaps a reasonable argument can be made for direct dependents to strongly impact the decision. If you see someone with a solvable problem its not unreasonable at all to offer help and that's what a good person does, but it doesn't need to be done by comparing or minimizing...which you DID do initially. I appreciate that you have backed off of that somewhat.

 

[TAW122]

I don't think it is a bad reason (or any reason to CTB really) as everyone's situation is going to be different. Given your story and your situation, if you are going for CTB'ing, I don't see much wrong with it given what you described and the amount of pain along with other factors. Personally, I have over 30K in student loan debt (from earning my undergraduate degree and graduate degree), and even if assuming that I do land a good paying job, it would take me well over a decade (or even more) to pay it off and yes, this includes interest and what not. Currently, I just have a small shitty part time job earning just enough to survive on and on IBR (Income Based Repayment) for my student loans.

While I won't CTB for any one reason alone (barring something really severe like terminal illness or severe disability that leads to constant poor quality of life), it is one of my reasons in tandem with other reasons for wanting to CTB.