Discussion Anyone else visiting SS looking to find strength to CTB?

[SubZero]

I often look for some inspiration on the site that will make my CTB easier and will help me dull my SI enough so I can drink the N. Anyone else feel the same way?

 

[WorthlessTrash]

Yes. Also to find peaceful obtainable methods.

 

[FuneralCry]

In my case, this website just makes me even more aware of how difficult ctb is for me, and it makes me feel even more trapped in this world. I do envy those who come here for the methods and then just go. I envy those with the courage for hanging and I envy dead people in general as they cannot suffer. It must be a relief having the option of N, I wish you the best.

 

[SubZero]

In my case, this website just makes me even more aware of how difficult ctb is for me, and it makes me feel even more trapped in this world. I do envy those who come here for the methods and then just go. I envy those with the courage for hanging and I envy dead people in general as they cannot suffer. It must be a relief having the option of N, I wish you the best.

It is a relief in a way, however I am torn apart because for almost 30 years I lived a good and a decent life, educated myself enough, worked hard to earn good money and have a nice income so I can feel more safe for my future. All this was wiped after 1 minute of doctors visit that screwed me up for life and I can't do anything about it.

I read you have tinnitus and visual snow and I am sorry for you. I have them as well, T and H in very severe form, I am homebound and lost everything that life had to offer.

It is a relief in a way, however I am torn apart because for almost 30 years I lived a good and a decent life, educated myself enough, worked hard to earn good money and have a nice income so I can feel more safe for my future. Had friend, a girlfriend, life was normal. All this was wiped after 1 minute of doctors visit that screwed me up for life and I can't do anything about it.

I read you have tinnitus and visual snow and I am sorry for you. I have them as well, T and H in very severe form, I am homebound and lost everything that life had to offer. I did not want to die, but I have no other choice and I know it.

 

[Idontmatter]

I don't know what I'm going to feel when it's finally time to do it. My weakness is leaving the one person behind that will be devastated after I'm gone. I have to get over that guilt so I can move forward with ctb. That's where I need the strength.

 

[outrider567]

I often look for some inspiration on the site that will make my CTB easier and will help me dull my SI enough so I can drink the N. Anyone else feel the same way?

Yes, the Sanctioned Suicide Mega Thread of Inert Gases has helped me a lot in a technical sense in getting all the correct stuff I needed for my Nitrogen CTB

 

[Riddle]

It is a relief in a way, however I am torn apart because for almost 30 years I lived a good and a decent life, educated myself enough, worked hard to earn good money and have a nice income so I can feel more safe for my future. All this was wiped after 1 minute of doctors visit that screwed me up for life and I can't do anything about it.

I read you have tinnitus and visual snow and I am sorry for you. I have them as well, T and H in very severe form, I am homebound and lost everything that life had to offer.

what happened at the doctors office if you don't mind sharing? did they do something to cause your tinnitus?

And yea, aside from finding the means to do it (N) I have also found strength from the users who have come and gone before me. If they can do it, I can do it type of thing

 

[Al Cappella]

Not really. That strength/commitment comes from within. The only thing I've learned here is where to get stuff. I already knew about the PPeH before I showed up here.

 

[DarkFriend.]

I've lurked on this site for years now. Actually was a member of the community back in the reddit days.

You know . . . I'm not sure why I come here. Perhaps because I find it peaceful. It helps me deal with it all . . . I don't think a day has passed in almost 15 years now where I haven't thought on suicide.

There are times where I come closer to it and others where I stray away--but always it comes back.

I do envy those who've garnered the strength to move on.

Yet for some reason I'm still here.

 

[Pain In The Ass]

I often look for some inspiration on the site that will make my CTB easier and will help me dull my SI enough so I can drink the N. Anyone else feel the same way?

I tend to read about people's lives that are already over, and ended badly, either by their choosing, or someone else's - makes me feel CTB will be nothing compared to their situations

 

[its-about-time]

Initially joined for information about methods. Now that I have that all squared away, I find I'm able to process a lot of my feelings about ctb here. Guilt especially.