Not suicidal exactly, but various kinds of bad that led me to avoid eating more than once a day. Weirdly I never discussed it with any doctors until I quit smoking - at that point it became very obvious I had a whole array of gastrological disorders. (Smoking keeps them at bay, and apparently it's fairly common for people to erupt with gastro problems when we quit smoking.)
I was also anorexic as a teenager, and that's never fully gone away. Eating was failure. Taking it a step further and wanting to die would have been easy.
I don't know if either of those ailments could apply to you, but they may be worth checking out.