Venting Anyone else suffering from an ED?

[AverageJvneListener]

I've learned to love my life through all the hardships that have come along, but one thing I have suffered the most from was my eating. Im 18M 186cm and I used to weigh 140 kg, about 6 months ago I decided to make a change and that I couldn't live by binging on food for coping anymore. I started an extremely strict diet and now I weigh 96 kg. I get told by every single person around me about how much I've changed and how proud they are of my accomplishment. Though the more they say that the worse I feel. I still feel like it's not enough. I want to be skinny, I don't ever wanna look back at how I used to be, I hate even thinking about how I was less than a year ago. I know that losing 45 kilograms in less than 6 months is not healthy, but I would honestly much rather die than be looked at like that ever again. I wanna be 70 Kg's so bad, I wanna look in the mirror and be happy for once. Had to vent.

 

[lotus11]

I have an ed also...Trust me I know the pain. I am really skinny but I do it by destroying my body and trust me it has destroyed my life probably just as much as being overweight. Saying that, I would still encourage you to lose weight because it is better being skinny but try to not go too extreme in your behaviours in any way because they are just too addictive and you won't be able to stop.

 

[cherrysquick]

been struggling with an ed for almost six years now, i know how hard is it to deal with especially at a higher weight. i used to be almost obese at one point and dropped to the underweight mark in 8ish months, my body was completely destroyed and i had absolutely no energy, but all i got was praise and people telling me that i look "so much healthier now" lol. i hope everything is gonna be okay, you can pm me anytime if you want to talk about this stuff. try to do damage control if you can, the huge and drastic weightloss mustve taken a toll on your body. sending hugs

 

[unnormal9]

Yes I hate eating.

 

[rabid_aspie_yokai]

I don't know... I'm not diagnosed but I would say my eating habits and thoughts are pretty disordered.

 

[Illidan77]

i don't have ED.. but my 2 close friends has it (anorexic and anorexic binge/purge subtype) .. it's kinda serious issue
there's ebook but i couldn't really understand it..
and one of my friend said that sometimes talking about it with non-ED can be triggering..
but i do want to know more like the cause, or what to say or what not to say.. what could help and what not.. but idk if it can be triggering too..
i mean like what OP said.. praise makes it worse..
well the one friend said that just use word "fit / healthy" instead "good" but from messages above seems healthy isn't always good word.
anyway i'll be watching this thread..

 

[just_so_done]

I can really relate to that. I was considered overweight for so long and have had a variety of EDs over the years. right now im heavily restricting and have lost alot of weight. the ridiculous thing is that some of my family knows thats how ive lost the weight but since I was considered overweight it wasnt a concern. I'm waiting for when i lose even more if thats when theyll actually care that I have an ed because right now no one does which has its pros and cons.

 

[starlight9]

Yup, I've had arfid since I was around five (not that I remember when it started all that well).
I hate myself for it even though it isn't my fault. I just wish I were normal...

 

[internetgirl]

I'm 43kg and 5'2. The problem for me is my bone structure, it's silly but one of the reasons I'm so miserable. Cursed with a wide ribcage, no hips and broad shoulders I always feel uncomfortable no matter what I do. I can't really recover either, it's always there knawing away at me. Eating disorders suck, it's so bad I can't look at actors or even any art without comparing myself to the hourglass girls. I hope one day I'll learn to accept this.

 

[lotus11]

I'm 43kg and 5'2. The problem for me is my bone structure, it's silly but one of the reasons I'm so miserable. Cursed with a wide ribcage, no hips and broad shoulders I always feel uncomfortable no matter what I do. I can't really recover either, it's always there knawing away at me. Eating disorders suck, it's so bad I can't look at actors or even any art without comparing myself to the hourglass girls. I hope one day I'll learn to accept this.

You are exactly the same height and weight as me! I like being this bmi for me its good but I have to not eat anything to stay there otherwise I have the worlds worst metabolism so if i ate I would be so heavy

 

[delusionalgirl]

Pretty much for over 25 years. It's never really gone away. A couple years ago it put me in the hospital. I dropped down to my high school weight which is very unhealthy for me. Took me forever to put it back on. Now I barely eat.