lwlaiet8887

lwlaiet8887

Embodiment of failure/Doom poster/Compassionate
Sep 14, 2023
288
Bored just venting and asking if anyone else has the same problem I do. I don't think this topic is often spoken on but your genetics can make or break your life. I unfortunately have a very messed up body, my dad is tall and very lanky (6'2) my mom is average height, I turn out 5'7 with my dad's same body proportions. I look ridiculous, can't build dense muscle, no neck/shoulders, I look like I'm walking around naked/famished, I have hyper
mobile joints, no clothes fit me, I get treated like an exotic animal (not kidding) I had a very happy childhood but now an adult I'm beginning to realise slowly how physically messed up I am and that I'll never be able to accomplish certain things I want to do in life/how debilitating socially it is looking like this. Sometimes I question whether this is a valid thing to want to CBT over. I know some people have it much worse but being like this is jusxastopose to everything I wanted in life. I'm just fed up of constantly having to swim up stream whilst others who are genetically lucky don't have the same hardships. Everything bores me now, I have no desire to socialise because I don't enjoy being treated like shit/looked down on, no romance, working out seems futile to me now since I can't build much mass, working isn't fulfilling. I mostly spend my days rotting trying to completely distract myself from life. I just want to be gone, not in tragic way either more like idgaf about this life and would like to be put of my misery. I would be so happy just to be a normal person, often when I go out walking I see average people going about their days and am just envious of their lives.
 
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MeltingBrain

MeltingBrain

Mage
May 29, 2023
580
There are other aspects of life which one can rely on to somewhat compensate for lack of a romantic partner. That being said getting a romantic partner is a BIG physical and psychological part of a fulfilling life .
I am sorry for your predicament . I too am single and can relate to your anguish .
 
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AntHills

AntHills

Degenerate
Aug 31, 2022
71
I'm really sorry šŸ™

In terms of genetics, I got lucky in two departments. I'm 6ft and have an attractive face, but that's all I have going for me. My teeth are ugly, I can't put on weight so I've always looked like a skeleton w/ skin, and my brain is basically just burnt trash.

I think self-isolating and seeking out distractions is something we all do when we feel ugly, especially when people look down on us and treat us like shit.

As for relationships, I can honestly say that I wish I had never put myself through that shit. Not every relationship turns out to be awful, but most of them do, and when you put all of the love that you should've had for yourself into another person, it's only a matter of time before they destroy you with it.
 
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lwlaiet8887

lwlaiet8887

Embodiment of failure/Doom poster/Compassionate
Sep 14, 2023
288
There are other aspects of life which one can rely on to somewhat compensate for lack of a romantic partner. That being said getting a romantic partner is a BIG physical and psychological part of a fulfilling life .
I am sorry for your predicament . I too am single and can relate to your anguish .
Thanks. I've actually had a few romantic opportunities since I'm facially good looking and have a thick accent so not completely destitute. My body is just so messed up that I'm not confident in myself enough to maintain interest in a relationship. I'm not really that intersted in romance it's just that it sucks to be conventionally unattractive in two important regards, makes it much more difficult to find a partner if there's ever an opportunity. I think my only hope to ever look normal is to get Limb lengthening surgery. I also assumed that I'd grow out of my skinnyness or at least be lanky but it never happened of course, bit tragic really šŸ™
 
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Garf125

Garf125

Member
Sep 21, 2023
24
I have Autism and Ehlers Danlos Syndrome. My family has a history of physical and mental health issues including suicides which is exacerbated by my parents being first cousins (disgusting I know). I believe I partly feel it necessary to CTB because I'm afraid of the high likelihood I have of developing something more serious in the future that could strip me of what little independence I have now. I view it similarly to how you'd view someone with early stage Alzheimers seeking assisted dying in that I want to end it before I become a burden or lose myself.

In regards to physical appearance id say im about average in face and somewhat overweight but with muscle as well. I'm 6'6 and that's about my only remarkable feature. With relationships I don't really want them. If I CTB in the future I wouldn't want to leave anyone with the grief of losing me and I know they'd never understand the decision to do so. Besides that I find romantic relationships stressful beyond any reasonable measure and the prospect of being intimate with someone repulsive. Generally I think my soul hit it's expiry date a couple years ago and every day I live on is in violation of that.
 
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lwlaiet8887

lwlaiet8887

Embodiment of failure/Doom poster/Compassionate
Sep 14, 2023
288
I have Autism and Ehlers Danlos Syndrome. My family has a history of physical and mental health issues including suicides which is exacerbated by my parents being first cousins (disgusting I know). I believe I partly feel it necessary to CTB because I'm afraid of the high likelihood I have of developing something more serious in the future that could strip me of what little independence I have now. I view it similarly to how you'd view someone with early stage Alzheimers seeking assisted dying in that I want to end it before I become a burden or lose myself.
Sounds very difficult, I have never heard of Ehlers Danlos Syndrome into now. If you still enjoy life and the health risks don't outweight it I wouldn't see it as necessity at all. I would just acquire a soundproof method of CTB if you ever need it. Obviously at the end of the day it's your choice and I respect that.
 
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