Discussion Anyone else stuck in a never ending circle?

[sparkdarkmark]

Ever since I started feeling suicidal I have been experiencing severe cognitive decline. Horrible short-term memory, constant brain fog, struggling to solve basic tasks, worsening academic performance. I've been struggling with this for the past year now and the symptoms continue to worsen. It's like I have some sort of weird disease that makes me suicidal and rot mentally and cognitively. I don't know what to do, it becomes increasingly harder to do my day-to-day tasks and thus makes it harder to change any of the circumstances of my life that are causing me to feel suicidal. It feels like a roller coaster but it never goes up, it keeps going down quickly. It feels like my brain is rotting slowly as well as my body. And I'm still young, 18. The whole reason I was suicidal is because of academic reasons and now I've gone so deep there's no going out or making it out. Hopefully my SN is arriving in January so I can finally end my life. I have not told my parents or any other person about this at all and I know they will be sad when I CTB but I don't care anymore.
I'm going to go insane if I don't ctb soon and even harm someone else. There is no catharsis whatsoever.

 

[Brown-Jacket Revy]

Omg, I've been experiencing the same thing, especially over the past three or four years.

Have you ever been diagnosed with ADHD? or suspect you might have it?

 

[sparkdarkmark]

Omg, I've been experiencing the same thing, especially over the past three or four years.

Have you ever been diagnosed with ADHD? or suspect you might have it?

Not too sure. I do have bad attention span now and trouble concentrating. I haven't been diagnosed with anything though. Haven't really been to any doctor or even told anyone about this.