Discussion Anyone else struggle with eating disorders?

[Livingvsdying25]

I struggle with EDNOS. So I fluctuate between anorexia, bulimia and BED.

Right now been in anorexic part of it for months and tryna get out but... kinda giving up as I'm back to trying to die and feel my statving is useful but ANYWAY.

I made a bunch of food today to try to have food to eat bc I otherwise don't have any unless I cook and I feel so disgusted by it...

Can't even manage a smoothie rn....

Tbh never experienced this aspect but haven't been able to cook my own food in years (homelessness) soo yeee...

Anyone relate, wanna share or whatever?

 

[JinZhin]

HELLO THERE, I definitely did not think I was fat since I was 4.
Which is well, veeeery long time, considering I'm in my early twenties now

I think I also have EDNOS (not diagnosed) ,since my eating habits have been 'off' since childhood, I became bulimic at 13, I got diagnosed with anorexia couple of years later but I have went through many phases of binging, purging, starving, eating normally, but it never left me, I could never be free from these thoughts and I made peace with that (I mean, I don't know what that even means)

Also avoided talking to psychiatrists about it since I turned 18 and could not legally be forced to do so I guess (I was never hospitalized, but I did end up missing lot of school back in the day), as I always felt they can't really do anything about it except prescribe me pills and nag on me to gain weight if I'm too thin (also, if you're not, surprise, nobody gives a fuck). Itćs not rare for people who are 'experts' on EDs to not understand them, so what then?
Personally I think the only people who can understand, are those who struggled but then no two people are the same so not even that may be the case

I also find it hard cooking for myself, I like cooking for other people, but if i have to make me a meal it's always either some bizarre creation or the most miserable, plain meal one can think of.

This ended up being a bit of a ramble, I'm sorry you're going through this, EDs are pure misery

 

[bluedream]

I'm anorexic, was in recovery for awhile but now I'm restricting again and approaching my lowest weight. For now, the drive to be thinner is actually part of whats keeping me alive.

 

[Foresight]

I feel you. Eating disorders and suicidal ideation are a difficult combination.

I've had Binge eating disorder for the past 10 years. I've lost touch with my body lately.

I had anorexia in my youth. I've struggled with disordered eating since about 13. I've never figured out how to have a normal relationship with food. It usually starts so young so it's firmly built in behavior.

 

[ColorlessTrees]

Food is the bane of my existence; it all started at 13, and I've experienced almost every one.

Started with orthorexia (obsession with food purity) to the point I was living off kale and strawberries and everything felt too impure to eat. I would have mental breakdowns over food and waste my entire day researching nutrition.

Then I started obsessing over my weight, yet now I'd give anything to be back where I was. I've always felt fat my entire life, especially from age 9 or so. I hated showering because of my stomach fat. I hated myself in swimsuits. And so I started eating lower and lower calorie. And I would flip out if I went one calorie over 300. Full on mental breakdown/crying fit/meltdown. Every day for about five months. And then things got even worse; I was just five pounds away from my GW and started bingeing like crazy, reactive eating. I was absolutely losing my shit even though my binges were extremely low calorie.

I'm now at my high weight, and I get upset over it every single day. My health issues 100% contribute to the binge eating; I'm miserable. I barely go a day without bingeing and I don't know how to eat normally. I live off of isolated food items.

That is to say, I understand you totally. Sorry I went off on a tangent. And I'm horribly sorry you're dealing with this. EDS are a special type of hell.

 

[Sherri]

I can't stand the smell of food in the morning, struggle to eat lunch, just a small plate for me. I don't have dinner also. So I guess I fit the profile.

 

[ncmxm]

Yeah me too

I've only ever been diagnosed with bulimia, but now I just binge without purging

I've had an ana phase and an ortho phases and later bulimia and bed phases, I'm still in my bed phase actually

 

[cocainenosejobs]

Yeah i'm diagnosed with anorexia

 

[EvilStepSister]

Yup. For about 35 years now. I've had them all. I'm finishing my third month of heavy restriction (not entirely intentional) and I've lost more than 40lbs

 

[death137]

yes

 

[xrosex]

I do