alltoomuch2
Arcanist
- Feb 10, 2024
- 482
As per the question above, does anyone get sick of, or even angry about, others reaching out to check you're ok but not meaning it? All the anti-suicide adverts telling people to ask if someone is ok twice. My brother does this. Every week at some point he'll ask "how are you you" or "how was your weekend"? Every time I have to say "fine". Then he asks "what have you done today" or "what are you doing today" and it's so bloody patronising. Usually I'm very careful what I say because he has anxiety issues and until very recently had no idea I was suicidal (he thought I was just anxious and burnt out), so I've always felt obliged to say "fine" and list some "activities" I've done that will reassure him. He's recently become aware I could be suicidal or have been possibly once (lol) because I made an unguarded comment on Instagram and some stranger screenshotted it to him and said he had to call me because I was going to ctb and he panicked, called me, called my psych nurse. So now I still feel even more like I have to fake being ok like some damned performing seal to keep reassuring him. But yesterday I was having a bpd rage episode, and along came the "how was your weekend, What did you do today" and I totally lost it. Told him how my weekend had actually been. What I'd actually done. I wasn't rude or ranty, I just said how my weekend had been and even put a laugh emoji at the end. Since then, silence from him. I mean why bloody ask if you don't want the truth? Presumably just to make himself feel better. The people I thought were my friends at work haven't contacted me at all since I was sent home from work a year ago with a mental breakdown (I'm still unable to work) and I find that hurtful. But you know what, I think that's better than constantly asking "how are you" and not wanting to hear the real answer. I get that most people aren't equipped to deal with those of us wanting to ctb, or even know that we feel like that, but ffs, don't ask how I am if you don't really want to know.