Anyone else proud of their suicide note?

[anorexic-pigeon]

I'm a writer, and generally I don't like my writing, but I make an exception for my suicide note. I love the way it flows organically and whatnot.

Here it is:

"I want to walk away having left something beautiful. A memory, perhaps, or the shallow breath of a few last words. I think that this earth was created to be beautiful, and though words could never encapsulate that all, she is beauty like the breeze that caresses the waves of grass and flitting branches in the warmth of spring. Her beauty is too warm for the cold of humanity, and thus we wake to suffer. This need to create beauty has left me with a fear of creating a passage farewell without a semblance of perfection. This need to create beauty has kept me from writing a note for the other side.
I have written thousands of suicide notes in my head throughout my lifetime. Everyone does, I think.
In our minds we cry out to whatever god had the cold heart to throw us into this much colder world to suffer. In the thousand times I have written a suicide note, I wonder how it can be so hard to put my thoughts to words. No words can truly encapsulate the feeling of emptiness that allows a soul to contemplate taking their own life from as early as the age of eight years old. Third grade is when the word has supposed to not yet lose its wonder, yet it was when I first wondered if I would be missed if I just disappeared one day.
I guess I never truly moved on from that thought, being as I'm still here, writing this down for a few souls to see. If I actually do carry this out and die, I have a few wishes. Firstly, do not blame this on yourself, for this was my battle and my battle only. My suicide is because my mind was created for suicide, not becuase another mind shaped me towards suicide. Less importantly, I wish to be laid gently in the cold dark earth. A natural death with no embalming fluid. I wish not to be buried wearing make-up. I want daffodils in my hair and my rose quartz heart placed on mine. All my belongings shall go to [name].
I hope you can live to move past me, for I have already lived my life as I wished to live it. I am completely ready to move on to the next life, whatever it has in store for me. Do not mourn, for I will be happier on the other side. I will be beauty and perfection, much like this Earth herself as I sink beneath her depths. "

Anyone else want to share theirs?

 

[tireddreamer]

You're definitely a writer. That was beautiful.

 

[Vertigo]

I don't know how people still have the energy to write suicide notes... but good for you

 

[LMLN]

That is beautiful. I'm so worn out I dont think I can even write anything meaningful.

 

[TAW122]

Excellent job, this is well written. I'd say I'm mostly proud of my note, but until I'm ready to go, I do oftenly revise it just to add some things I'd like to say or remove what I later find to be redundant.

 

[PrettyMoose]

I don't have a note, but I do have a collection of quotes to leave behind.

 

[CuddleHug]

You are right to be proud! Even I, a complete stranger on an anonymous forum, am proud of you. Well written

 

[shadowchaser]

It's so beautiful and eloquent, you're an amazing writer.
I hope this is okay for me to mention: Your writing is unique and something only you can offer the world. I wonder if you might be willing to consider that as reason to stay?

 

[anorexic-pigeon]

It's so beautiful and eloquent, you're an amazing writer.
I hope this is okay for me to mention: Your writing is unique and something only you can offer the world. I wonder if you might be willing to consider that as reason to stay?

I feel too much pain to stay. I would have liked to publish a book in the past before my ptsd and depression got severe, but that time has passed. I'm no longer suited for this world. Perhaps I'll publish the book I already wrote before I set my date... Who knows.

 

[Mm80]

Suicide notes are the most difficult thing for me.everything else seems easy, gathering the bits, planning. Once i can write them i know its time.
Yours was beautiful x

 

[LittleJem]

wow, your note is exquisite. Reminds me of Wordsworth, but I enjoyed your note more.

There are "Lucy" poems I remember never quite understanding by Wordsworth. Here is one of them. I didn't get into Oxford! And tried to talk about a "Lucy" poem in my interview - but I never really understood them. They're about a girl/woman he loved who died.


I'm gonna be cremated though! And no religion at my funeral.
Also, I so agree - some of us are born with minds for suicide. There's science behind that.

 

[highlyvolatile]

Your note is quite lovely. You really have a way with words. I wrote a note but keep tweaking it and feel like theres nothing I can really say for why im doing this.

 

[Goaway]

"Birth and death were easy. It was life that was hard."

 

[LastRide]

Very well written, you can be proud of yourself ! I haven't done mine yet, but in harmony with my character it will be lot more of a "matter-of-fact" type writing. I'll jjst state the reasons that made me do it and that no one should feel sad or have a bad conscience because they did not see it coming. And I will once more stress the important message that it's every human's fundamental right to decide to take their own life whenever and in whatever way they choose, never mind the wailing of the pro-lifers !

 

[MissingIt]

Mine is 11 pages. I have a lot to say. Wouldn't say I'm "proud" of it, but it is thorough.

 

[LastRide]

Mine is 11 pages. I have a lot to say. Wouldn't say I'm "proud" of it, but it is thorough.

Remarkable ! I don't think I would have enough significant stuff to say to fill 11 pages...

 

[hershberger]

Even though I don't plan to ctb any time soon, I have actually written (checks hidden folder) 15 letters; one "open letter" and 14 to specific people. I actually started writing them at the end of December, and every once in a while - especially on bad days - I'll go in and edit a few.

Writing this many letters may be abnormal, but my hope is I'll never have to send them. Having said that, I want them ready in case they're needed.

 

[Natsu Suki]

Not really proud of it, my drafts are quite a shamble and I'm not that good at writing :). Hopefully someone will enjoy it though!

 

[teddybear1403]

This is beautiful. This just goes to show that the world wastes some people.

 

[faust]

Well written! I am a writer myself, but I think that I will make my notes simple. Just as it is with no exceptions. Otherwise I will be misunderstood. My way of writing is too deep for a suicide note.

 

[Jumper Geo]

It's a note to be proud of, my note will be basic but i'm still working on it, this is how far I have got so far,

Roses are red, violets are blue if you're reading my note, I'm sorry it's goodbye to you, the sun is yellow the sea is blue, my time on this Earth has ended, and it was long over due, sorry to cause you so much pain, honestly I had nothing to gain but i hope one day we will all meet up in Heaven once again.

Cheers Geo