Discussion Anyone else planning to ctb later in life?

[Sam W]

For me, ctb planning is basically my contingency plan in case things to south much later in life (I'm looking at a 20+ year time horizon most likely).

I have a family history of young-onset Alzheimer's disease. I had to watch this horrifically cruel disease take my dad piece by piece over the course of about 5 years. The thought of having to go through that myself, and making those close to me witness it, is something I fear much more than death.

My dad started showing symptoms of the disease in his mid-late 50's, and I'm only in my early 30s now, so realistically I have 20-30 years, but I still can't stop thinking about it. I know deep down I want to die by my own hand rather than suffer like that, but it's so far away.

If I do develop the disease, the trick is to try to catch it early enough so I still have enough of my faculties to actually ctb, which kinda terrifies me. What if I wait too long and don't have the ability to follow through anymore? That would be literally the worst thing I could imagine--having my mind slowly decay over the course of several years and having no way to put myself out of my misery and unburden my loved ones.

There's also the chance I might not develop the disease, which is a possibility that terrifies me almost as much. If I make it to my 60s with all my faculties, I'll be constantly paranoid that any old brain fart could be the onset of full-blown Alzheimer's.

 

[_AllCatsAreGrey_]

I appreciate your foresight and balanced thinking here.

 

[nux_walpurgis]

I am planning it for later, but not that later. I want to have my recources ready to be in peace of mind knowing I am able to go whenever I want.
If I were in your place I would do the same as you. No one should be fprced tro live through this terrible desease.

 

[lacrimosa]

I am planning to CTB if things go south, right now my life is stable but that can change in an instant.

I feel as if death is a friendly reminder that it's okay to die as it's a natural state for every living being (sentient or not) on this planet.

It's tragic, yes. But, life really isn't worth living IMHO. Especially when you weigh it and compare it to the tragedies and disasters mankind has wrought upon itself and the planet.

I will CTB when the time is right and will be nothing more than a distant memory at some point.

For now, I have the love and support of my family and this keeps me going. I would do anything for them, including waiting to CTB.

But, when the day comes when that's all gone, then I know it is time and I am more than ready; mentally and emotionally prepared.

Thankfully, MAID will be made available in 2027 for the mentally ill and honestly, I cannot wait.

 

[Sam W]

I am planning it for later, but not that later. I want to have my recources ready to be in peace of mind knowing I am able to go whenever I want.
If I were in your place I would do the same as you. No one should be fprced tro live through this terrible desease.

It's extremely reassuring to know that I'll have an escape hatch if I need it. I'm very fortunate to have a life worth living right now, but it's empowering to know I can choose to exit whenever I wish.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I definitely don't want to see old age in. Life's hard enough as it is now. I don't even fancy reaching my 50's to be honest. I'm 44 now. A neighbour once said he really noticed a decline in his 50's. Not that it's the same for everyone of course but I'd be in such a pickle if my health and basic agility goes. I've got no friends or family near by, next to no financial backup and my job is freelance so, no sick pay and, relies on me being reasonably able.

It frightens me too that I may become incapacitated in some way to prevent me carrying out CTB. Although- I have SN stored away so, I'm hoping that's relatively easier.

 

[Sam W]

I definitely don't want to see old age in. Life's hard enough as it is now. I don't even fancy reaching my 50's to be honest. I'm 44 now. A neighbour once said he really noticed a decline in his 50's. Not that it's the same for everyone of course but I'd be in such a pickle if my health and basic agility goes. I've got no friends or family near by, next to no financial backup and my job is freelance so, no sick pay and, relies on me being reasonably able.

It frightens me too that I may become incapacitated in some way to prevent me carrying out CTB. Although- I have SN stored away so, I'm hoping that's relatively easier.

Thank you for your perspective. I think it's absolutely valid to want to exit before you start declining significantly. For me, I can see myself reaching old age, but only if I'm in good health. I wouldn't mind some arthritis, mild pain, and mobility restrictions. But if I decline to the point where living independently is difficult, I would definitely be considering CTB at that point.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Thank you for your perspective. I think it's absolutely valid to want to exit before you start declining significantly. For me, I can see myself reaching old age, but only if I'm in good health. I wouldn't mind some arthritis, mild pain, and mobility restrictions. But if I decline to the point where living independently is difficult, I would definitely be considering CTB at that point.

Definitely. It isn't a certain that we'll all have terrible times in our later years. I have seen quite spritely elderly folk. I just wish we all knew that we could opt out peacefully when we'd had enough.

I have also seen inside nursing homes with people who were severely suffering and desperate for it to be over. That terrifies me to be honest. That was a relatively nice home too- incredibly expensive. The thought of ending up somewhere where I couldn't CTB scares me.

Quite honestly though, I feel done with life now. I'm only really holding on so as not to upset my Dad. For me, it doesn't seem worth it even now! I'm sure it will only get worse for me and I just don't want to find out! I'm scared to kill myself too though, so it will have to be a competition on which scares me more ultimately.

I hope you enjoy good health into old age though. I hope things work out for you.