Anyone else never been very social?

[Volatile]

i was scrolling through an acquaintance's Facebook and it was full of various gatherings with friends and extended family. It seemed weird. I couldn't relate to it nor do I have the desire to constantly meet up with people. It seems exhausting and something like a show that's being acted out with big smiles that look forced.

 

[Pallf]

Yeah I'm not a social person in real life. I actively avoid people I know and I limit where I go to minimize the chances of seeing them. I don't know what's wrong with me, but I've been this way for awhile.

I'm more sociable online, but that's because I can be as anonymous as I'd like and I can delete my accounts whenever I want.

 

[namemanthedeadman]

I agree with this 100%! I've tried going out with friends, but it is always so extremely stressful! I just assume that being social isn't really for me.

 

[Gray Wounds]

yeah, it's almost similar to watching the nosedive episode of black mirror

 

[Soon4me]

Yes and No.

Not social if :
it's at a formal gathering like a wedding or something like that.
Where you are expected to act in a certain way.Or look "respectable"
I avoid this if possible.

I am social if :
it's going to see a band,even though there maybe 100's,even 1000's of people there.
I feel very relaxed.Everyone there likes the same music as me.I feel a connection with them,
In a setting like this,it's easy to speak with people.I feel like i already know them.

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

I'm not very social … it's a struggle even with family functions.

 

[Ashpac]

I was until 5 years ago. I dont know how I used to go nightclubbing and raving meeting all sorts of people. All the attention seekers and drama levels were high looking back. Id much rather stay in now. Less drama and lies I dont have to hear.

 

[Tiburcio]

Not social if :
it's at a formal gathering like a wedding or something like that.
Where you are expected to act in a certain way.Or look "respectable"
I avoid this if possible.

Exactly the same here.

----------------

The problem is: I hate people but at the same time I want to be social. I try it and they unnerve me a lot, also they become very predictable after short time. I want to relate with others but at the same time there are no people who don't sucks.

 

[lastsummer]

No social at all. I definitely avoid to be in a group of people.

 

[Volatile]

Exactly the same here.

----------------

The problem is: I hate people but at the same time I want to be social. I try ot and they unnerve me a lot, also they become very predictable after short time. I want to relate with others but at the same time there are no people who don't sucks.

Same here

 

[Soon4me]

@Volatile sorry to hijack your thread,i think i saw you like megadeth,or maybe it was a dream ?
If you do
(To use one of your words)
Which megadeth song makes you feel "euphoric"
For me it would be Megadeth - Wake Up Dead
If you don't like them then maybe it was a dream.(Or the government/aliens placing false memories in my brain)
I take medications.

 

[Volatile]

@Volatile sorry to hijack your thread,i think i saw you like megadeth,or maybe it was a dream ?
If you do
(To use one of your words)
Which megadeth song makes you feel "euphoric"
For me it would be Megadeth - Wake Up Dead
If you don't like them then maybe it was a dream.(Or the government/aliens placing false memories in my brain)
I take medications.

Yeah I'm a fan. I like "Family Tree"

 

[Imaginos]

Nope. Outside of my parents, I can count on one hand the other people I've spoken with (albeit for very briefly) in the last 11 years now. It's been a lifelong thing, though. Posting on this site alone is enough to make me feel ill with myself, if only because of the light sociability involved in posting. I also have no, nor have I ever, had any online friends, or *real life* ones (*at least none that I ever accepted that is*). I'm about as naturally anti-social as it gets. Even when I was quite young, I had an indescribable urge against social interaction. I suppose it's sort of a shame really, since all the other kids/classmates in my age bracket actually liked me quite a lot (for whatever bizarre reason) and, as a result, I had many, many opportunities for friendship that I ultimately denied/squandered. I basically had the opposite problem of someone who's chronically bullied (another thing I never suffered from, fortunately). They'd constantly try to invite me to come play with them, or over to their houses, or just to generally hang out, but, outside of a few exceptions here & there, I'd almost always turn them away. Partly because I was convinced that they'd have a better time without me, but, more than that, it just never felt right. Almost as if I were Kevin Costner at the end of Waterworld, you know? I even had a small group of "friends", if you like, who, through no effort on my part, just gravitated towards me and would light up like Christmas trees whenever they saw me. Even when I was handed this stuff on a silver platter, I just couldn't accept it. It just felt like too much work, too much energy. Standing alone & apart from everyone else was just so much easier. It felt right. Like I could finally breathe again once I was finally alone. At the end of the day, I don't think it's hyperbolic to say that I'm simply meant to be on my own. It really is just who I am. A strange, malformed fish who swims in the empty, serene waters of isolation. Oddly enough though, I'd tend to feel far more at ease when I'd tag along with my brother when he'd go over to one of his friends' houses, or something. You'd think that'd of been awkward, but surprisingly it never really was. I always felt way more comfortable since I could just chill in the background. My brother was the center of attention, whereas I could just sit on the sidelines and play Tony Hawk's Pro Skater, or something. There wasn't that same kind of pressure to talk or interact, since my brother was the one to take care of all that useless shit given that they were technically his friends and not mine. There was actually this one kid my brother knew who had tons of, at the time, new PC games over at his house and I'd always beg my brother if could I come along with him, just in the off chance I could play some Heroes of Might & Magic 3. One of the few times I was ever truly motivated to engage socially. Just for the sake of a sweet dose of virtual entertainment.

 

[comfortablydumb]

I'm social when I'm not depressed. When I'm depressed, I become socially avoidant. Which, of course, fuels the depression.

While I am introverted in the sense that I expend mental energy on socializing, rather than receive mental energy from socializing, I do have a lot of friends, and I like to spend time with people.

 

[Dip]

I used to be somewhat social before my teenage years, then less and less as the years wore on as I found less and less to connect with other people about.

 

[skitliv]

Not in the least bit

 

[Strumgewehr]

@Volatile sorry to hijack your thread,i think i saw you like megadeth,or maybe it was a dream ?
If you do
(To use one of your words)
Which megadeth song makes you feel "euphoric"
For me it would be Megadeth - Wake Up Dead
If you don't like them then maybe it was a dream.(Or the government/aliens placing false memories in my brain)
I take medications.

Holy wars the best. Have you tried doom metal yet? It's like the best soundtrack for my(our) melancholic life.

 

[Samuel]

No one wants to admit they're not social, only some people will.

 

[Soon4me]

@Volatile sorry to hijack your thread yet AGAIN :)
@Strumgewehr HOLY WARS !
I mostly listen to punk music but i like thrash metal and death metal also.
I know nothing about doom metal ! If you have any suggestion you can add them below ! Thanks
Metal https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/heavy-m-_-m-metal.1132/
Punk https://sanctioned-suicide.net/posts/17416/

 

[comfortablydumb]

No one wants to admit they're not social, only some people will.

Entirely untrue. On anonymous online forums, including reddit, it appears that a majority of commenters claim to be asocial, socially inept, socially uninterested, etc.

In this thread, for example, almost every commenter says they are not social. Of course, this is a suicide forum, so not exactly a cross section of the online population. (Also worth noting is that social isolation correlates extremely with depression and suicide. Some of the most morose people on here seem to describe the greatest degree of social isolation. Their mindset has undoubtedly been influenced downwards as a consequence of that social isolation.)

 

[Mess]

i'm not, irl
i hate the people from my highschool, but i dont want to be alone, so i talk to people that i dont like and i pretend to love them
ivl, i'm really really social, especially on social medias, like twitter for example ; but when people annoy me, i block them without hesitation

 

[Fylobatica]

I try to be helpful to those who deserve it, but I'm definitely not very keen on long-time relationships and socialization, I just don't have the physical strength that constant attention requires

 

[Pallf]

@Fylobatica same. I mentally and probably physically can't keep up relationships, especially if the other person doesn't equally contribute. Online I'm quite sociable.

 

[Empty Smile]

Yeah I'm not a social person in real life. I actively avoid people I know and I limit where I go to minimize the chances of seeing them. I don't know what's wrong with me, but I've been this way for awhile.

I'm more sociable online, but that's because I can be as anonymous as I'd like and I can delete my accounts whenever I want.

Exactly the same way bud. I can't stand being around more than 2 or e people at a time, and even then its stressful for me.

Like you, I'm more socialable online, than in real life.

 

[ScaredOfLife]

I don't have friends. I have a husband and a sister that I talk to. I don't leave the apartment except to go to doctors appointments or every now and then to visit my sister. I don't have the energy to socialize outside of those circumstances.

 

[strained03]

I can be very socializing. In fact, I don't go out that much to see friends. But I wish I could have some, just to hang out. Because making myself beautiful, dressing well, etc, helps me to feel good. Even if it's superficial, you still feel great.

 

[InsidiousDormouse]

Oh yeah, I'm not a social person at all. I have Asperger's syndrome and that's a 'developmental delay' that has lead to me being a very isolated, socially inept person.

When I started using the research chemical benzos you've heard me talk about on here, and the subsequent withdrawal that has pushed me, finally, into the corner of knowing my life is pretty much done now, that kind of pushed my major anxieties aside and left me some room to at least try and have something that vaguely resembled a social life.

I had a few friends, who I actually care about very much, far more than they ever will about me. I'd go to their houses, go out with them some nights, my life was never fantastic, but it was okay. It was bearable.

Then came a new law which outlawed the research chemical benzos and an agency who prescribe me subutex because I became dependent on over the counter codeine products I used to use because I have such severe, untreated pain issues, they forced me to cold turkey from the stuff.

Since then, my body is broken, it feels like my soul is buried alive inside a corpse, frantically scratching to get out and I've slowly, over the two years I have been in benzo withdrawal, realised that this is not going to get any better.

Most of these friends do not want to know, not one of them has ever contacted me, messaged me, or anything over the past two years. Not one of them has asked if I am ok or if I need anything, not one.

I think they're all afraid of me, they think I will leave needles laying around their houses or steal from them or harm their children or something.

I have never injected drugs or used heroin or anything like that, my issues stemmed from medical reasons and medical mistakes.

There is a rumour going around that I used or still use, heroin. This is totally false, I do not spread hate about those who do, but I have never used it myself. I think this myth and the fact I have been way to unwell to even wash myself properly or clean my house properly or do anything like that, let alone go out and socialise, is the reason I am now completely cut off.

Not so many people to miss me or waste tears over me in a bit then huh? There's an upside to every downside.

 

[samhelloall9]

I do like to ramble, but I'm very poor at holding or having an actual two-way conversation. I talk enough to keep up appearances and keep people at ease...but I've never been one to want more than a handlful of 'friends' and that's it. We meet up every so often just to hang out, I like it that way. But I do worry about the coming years, if they get hitched or get girlfriends, you know, there's more social anxiety then for me.

Plus, I don't think they realise how socially inept I really am. Ah well.

 

[Sundayafternoon]

I've never been extremely social. I've always had to feel people out before driving in. Still, I've always thought differently. Not better or worse than anyone else, just different. So, plenty of social interactions leave me feeling empty and unfulfilled.

As I get older my anxiety gets worse. And it manifest itself as extreme agitation. Most days, I dislike everyone.

 

[iloveloving]

Yes, and I've tried to make connections and better my communication skills, but it never seems to work out. I am still lonely.