Discussion Anyone else looking forward to the pain finally being over?

[MeowTheFlemishCat]

My mental illness puts me in the most atrocious horrific pain imaginable. I want to live but can't and it's frustrating.

 

[cosmic_traveler]

My mental illness puts me in the most atrocious horrific pain imaginable. I want to live but can't and it's frustrating.

I'm sorry you're going through so much pain. The human condition is brutal. I'm very much looking forward to no more pain. No more pain for me, no more inflicting pain on others.

I hope you find peace. Be well on your journey.

 

[Aim]

Oh YESS drifting away into nothingness sounds super comforting. It's over. And it's never again.

 

[oddetoad]

the only thing hurting is my hands everytime i wash them cause my OCD has destroyed the skinlayer on both my hands so I look forward to that lol

 

[CouldaHvBeenARock]

Looking forward is an understatement, I am excited for something new

 

[hopeless08]

the only thing hurting is my hands everytime i wash them cause my OCD has destroyed the skinlayer on both my hands so I look forward to that lol

Omg I have the most severe case of ocd but during some periods it's stronger than others. The worst one I ever had was an obsession that everything I touched would make me dirty, I couldnt touch anything. For example when I would go out come home I literally had to empty everything in my purse and disinfect it one by one and I mean everything in it and I'd have many things in my bag. I would take out every card in my bag and disinfect with alcohol and put them back in after disinfecting everything inside Id disinfect the bag itself, the outside of it, the handles , everything and it would take me about 45 min sometimes longer but the worst part is that due to the constant alcohol use my hands became so dry eventually leading to cuts, open wounds and the craziest part is tha the ocd was so bad I'd actually have to keep doing it putting alcohol on the opened wounds. I'd scream cause it burned so bad but I couldn't stop. My hands looked horrible, I'd be so embarrassed when people would look at them, I'm sure they thought it was some kind of disease. It drove me insane. Now I still have ocd but in a different way just like touching something and have to do it again for 10 times.
But yeah ocd is the worst. People don't know to what extent it cripples your life.

 

[F@#$]

Ready to die.

 

[oddetoad]

Omg I have the most severe case of ocd but during some periods it's stronger than others. The worst one I ever had was an obsession that everything I touched would make me dirty, I couldnt touch anything. For example when I would go out come home I literally had to empty everything in my purse and disinfect it one by one and I mean everything in it and I'd have many things in my bag. I would take out every card in my bag and disinfect with alcohol and put them back in after disinfecting everything inside Id disinfect the bag itself, the outside of it, the handles , everything and it would take me about 45 min sometimes longer but the worst part is that due to the constant alcohol use my hands became so dry eventually leading to cuts, open wounds and the craziest part is tha the ocd was so bad I'd actually have to keep doing it putting alcohol on the opened wounds. I'd scream cause it burned so bad but I couldn't stop. My hands looked horrible, I'd be so embarrassed when people would look at them, I'm sure they thought it was some kind of disease. It drove me insane. Now I still have ocd but in a different way just like touching something and have to do it again for 10 times.
But yeah ocd is the worst. People don't know to what extent it cripples your life.

yep i had the same but not as severe as you but i used a lot of soap and i washed my hands several times a day cause i couldnt bear the thought of using the computer without 100% clean hands.

my ocd is better now, I don't care if my hands are filthy anymore.
I can see my skeleton on both my hands now and it hurts so much.

 

[hopeless08]

yep i had the same but not as severe as you but i used a lot of soap and i washed my hands several times a day cause i couldnt bear the thought of using the computer without 100% clean hands.

my ocd is better now, I don't care if my hands are filthy anymore.
I can see my skeleton on both my hands now and it hurts so much.

I can relate my hands literally had open wounds with blood, some dry and some new. It hurt like hell and still in my mind I had to continue to put alcohol.
Mine ocd is also better now but as bad as ocd is I'd rather have that a million times then this suicidal depression.
Are you taking any meds for the ocd and depression?

 

[oddetoad]

I can relate my hands literally had open wounds with blood, some dry and some new. It hurt like hell and still in my mind I had to continue to put alcohol.
Mine ocd is also better now but as bad as ocd is I'd rather have that a million times then this suicidal depression.
Are you taking any meds for the ocd and depression?

i did take ssris before but Iam of the opinion that these meds only make things worse and can cause permament damage on the brain so i stopped

 

[hopeless08]

i did take ssris before but Iam of the opinion that these meds only make things worse and can cause permament damage on the brain so i stopped

Maybe cause I'm taking antidepressants and benzos and it's not helping in the least. Can I pm you?

 

[oddetoad]

Maybe cause I'm taking antidepressants and benzos and it's not helping in the least. Can I pm you?

Of coarse

 

[AInilam]

Yes. No more second-guessing, disappointment, judgment or humiliation.

I'm tired of my brain constantly having to flip-flop just to cope and keep it together till the time comes.

It doesn't help that I feel like everyone secretly judges, hates or pities me, even though I personally know no one in my life who feels that way or at the very least--has outright said it to my face.