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Desperate2die
Member
- Feb 19, 2024
- 25
For context, i've been in the worst place of my life, the past 2 years especially have been one suicide attempt after another. I feel like such a failure, my body seems to be able to endure SO much. My primary method has been ODing, i've ended up in coma's twice over the past year (can say for certain was the best feeling, fading away into the darkness with benzos...but waking up tied to the hospital bed with tubes in me realising i survived was the most horrific thing).
I've come so close with hanging and trains but it takes SO much more capacity than i have. Thats why the idea of getting my hands on street drugs (i've never had any before) (or better yet a huge amount of benzos) feels like best possible way. I just dont have any friends and no connections. Im so desperate i just want to go to a sketchy area and ask someone if they know anyone who sells H or something.. but that thought feels so idiotic. Even getting them off the dark web seems so unreliable and scared ill just get scammed from the little money i have left.!
Im just SO desperate beyond words, i have nothing and no one left... I just want to magically have access to a dealer and fade away...
Anyone else relate or have any suggestions?
I've come so close with hanging and trains but it takes SO much more capacity than i have. Thats why the idea of getting my hands on street drugs (i've never had any before) (or better yet a huge amount of benzos) feels like best possible way. I just dont have any friends and no connections. Im so desperate i just want to go to a sketchy area and ask someone if they know anyone who sells H or something.. but that thought feels so idiotic. Even getting them off the dark web seems so unreliable and scared ill just get scammed from the little money i have left.!
Im just SO desperate beyond words, i have nothing and no one left... I just want to magically have access to a dealer and fade away...
Anyone else relate or have any suggestions?