Volatile

Volatile

God
Jun 18, 2018
1,286
i have to box up all my stuff in my apartment first though. Then I have to take a shower. The drive will be scenic and 5 hrs to the bridge.

It's all so exhausting. Maintaining my resolve to ctb will be hard due to survival instinct.
 
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Smilla

Smilla

Visionary
Apr 30, 2018
2,549
I'm long overdue. Long.

Like you I have "loose ends" to tie up.

Have a wonderful drive.
 
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Volatile

Volatile

God
Jun 18, 2018
1,286
I'm long overdue. Long.

Like you I have "loose ends" to tie up.

Have a wonderful drive.

It would be tragic if I didn't make it to the destination due to car trouble or a minor car accident. What do I do then?
 
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Smilla

Smilla

Visionary
Apr 30, 2018
2,549
It would be tragic if I didn't make it to the destination due to car trouble or a minor car accident. What do I do then?

Plan. Is your car reliable? Maybe rent a car?
 
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Volatile

Volatile

God
Jun 18, 2018
1,286
It's reliable but a car accident would undo that.
 
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K

Karlala

Member
Jun 27, 2018
74
Sounds like I might take a drive myself but I dont know where to go . The bridge out here has a net now
 
K

Karlala

Member
Jun 27, 2018
74
This year I was there last week to jump and wow no more of that
 
S

Sternum

Student
May 12, 2018
120
I fucking hate survival instinct.
 
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Jon86

Jon86

Specialist
Apr 9, 2018
369
^ The net they added looks kinda useless to me. Couldn't you just crawl off of it if you land on it?

There was a 'jumper' on the Lions Gate bridge today, that backed up traffic for hours. They close the entire bridge when there's jumper and people get pissed, bridge was closed for around 4 hours, he never jumped.
 
Volatile

Volatile

God
Jun 18, 2018
1,286
people get pissed and jump themselves lol
^ The net they added looks kinda useless to me. Couldn't you just crawl off of it if you land on it?

There was a 'jumper' on the Lions Gate bridge today, that backed up traffic for hours. They close the entire bridge when there's jumper and people get pissed, bridge was closed for around 4 hours, he never jumped.
 
Dead_Inside

Dead_Inside

Wizard
Jul 2, 2018
622
i have to box up all my stuff in my apartment first though. Then I have to take a shower. The drive will be scenic and 5 hrs to the bridge.

It's all so exhausting. Maintaining my resolve to ctb will be hard due to survival instinct.
Oh the packing up stuff .... that took me forever. I don't have a will so I had to pack stuff up and put peoples names on it and write a little note to say why I had given it to them.
Best of luck to you. I remember how absolutely happy and peacefully my intended final day was .... hope it is the same for you.
 
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Volatile

Volatile

God
Jun 18, 2018
1,286
I'm not giving anything to anyone. I'm just putting it all in boxes to be thrown away. Of course, that probably won't happen. My stuff will be looked through. I would just dump it all but I'm afraid I might change my mind.
 
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Dead_Inside

Dead_Inside

Wizard
Jul 2, 2018
622
I'm not giving anything to anyone. I'm just putting it all in boxes to be thrown away. Of course, that probably won't happen. My stuff will be looked through. I would just dump it all but I'm afraid I might change my mind.
Ahh ... ok. I am stupid and think that people will care. And I am really stupid and still care about people who don't care enough to be here for me .... you know I packed them up nice stuff .... because I am stupid.
 
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Volatile

Volatile

God
Jun 18, 2018
1,286
Ahh ... ok. I am stupid and think that people will care. And I am really stupid and still care about people who don't care enough to be here for me .... you know I packed them up nice stuff .... because I am stupid.
It's not stupid. You're caring. That's a good thing.
 
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V

Vvoiid

Member
Jul 18, 2018
65
Jumping is my only method. I've been at the bridge a couple of times. It's always exhausting(It's half an hour driving and another hour walking... I can tell you from experience that the survival instinct is very hard to overcome. Sometimes I go there just to watch the bridge, see if I am ready.
 
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S

Ssname

Experienced
Jun 30, 2018
268
The tidying up possessions has held me back before. I want to leave things as easy as possible for my family. Also will rent a car so that my car doesn't lose value when I die in it.
 
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wanttodie

wanttodie

Enlightened
Apr 19, 2018
1,802
yes i do
 
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Imaginos

Imaginos

Full-time layabout
Apr 7, 2018
638
More than anything else I can currently think of. More than anything else ever. Although unfortunately as I've found, no matter how furiously I tap my foot, in my constant, impatient wish for death to finally arrive it doesn't at all mean, turns out, that it's gonna suddenly happen or appear. Least of all I'd imagine while conforming to my idealized desires for an unforeseen, painless release from such a deeply disturbing universe as this one. If only it did, but alas. Only in my fantasies it seems.

tumblr_inline_n7k2gkUFii1rxcfdb.jpg
 
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F

Final Escape

I’ve been here too long
Jul 8, 2018
4,348
I hope I can do it within the next couple weeks. I don't think I'm going to overplan it but I'm definitely going to make sure I'm doing it correctly. And maybe I should have another backup in case the first attempt fails lol! I need like at least three different methods that are pretty fail safe so in case one doesn't work. I know right, if only I put this much effort into trying to live, I might actually have a decent life by now. I doubt it but that thought at times has crossed my mind. But if I could have done that I would have, so I think working towards my suicide is right for me in my situation. I'm not afraid of death and more afraid of life at this point. I know that my circumstances cannot improve because that would only happen by miracle or some unprecedented event that made life so great that I would be thrilled to be alive again.
 
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Threads

Threads

Warlock
Jul 13, 2018
721
No. I'm in no hurry to get anything over with. My priority is keeping my dad happy. The longer he is happy, the better. If he lives another 20 years, I will make sure they are the happiest years of his life. If he dies tomorrow, I already made sure that today was a fantastic day for him.

As soon as I find out he has died. I'm stopping what I am doing, head home and write my note, I'm going home to get my Mossberg 500 Persuader, I'm calling the police to let them know where I am and what I am doing, and I am taking my shotgun and blowing my skulls and brains all over the place.

I have this all figured out.
 
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I

iwant2die

Member
Jul 19, 2018
15
I am. I just need to get a gun first. The nice thing about that is when I am over the edge, I can just pull the trigger, and I'm a goner. I don't need to worry about having x amount of time without getting interrupted.
 
T

Tsohumgi

Member
Jul 22, 2018
7
i have to box up all my stuff in my apartment first though. Then I have to take a shower. The drive will be scenic and 5 hrs to the bridge.

It's all so exhausting. Maintaining my resolve to ctb will be hard due to survival instinct.

I was gonna drive to the snow and lie down forever. Someone had broken in to my car. I found it and had to deal with that instead. Broken windows, stuck in position from something underneath. My stuff strewn everywhere. I wonder how my plans will be screwed up this time.
 

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